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Celebrity triallists | Football | guardian.co.uk
BEFORE THEY WERE FAMOUS
"With Robbie Williams being invited to train with Bayern Munich and his old mate Jonathan Wilkes looking so good in various charity matches, I was wondering which celebrities had trials with football clubs when they were younger?" asks Patrice van Kloppenburg.
It's always been a bit peculiar to associate the majority of celebrities with significant football ability - like imagining your teachers in flagrante - but a number were on the books of league clubs, or at least had trials with them, in their youth.
Take Angus Deayton, who had a trial with Crystal Palace at the age of 12, or Luciano Pavarotti, who was put through his paces at Modena - even more improbably, he was a winger - while perma-tanned crooner Julio Iglesias was on the books of Real Madrid as a goalkeeper of some promise before a car crash in 1963 ended his career.
Pope John Paul II, in the days before he supported Fulham, was a keeper with Polish team Wadowice, while Rik Waller was on the books of Liverpool as a youngster. OK, so we made that last one up. But here are some other bona fide triallists:
David Essex (Leyton Orient)
Des O'Connor (Northampton)
Sir David Frost (Nottingham Forest)
Mark Owen (Manchester United)
Bradley Walsh (Brentford)
Perry Fenwick (Leyton Orient)
Ricky Tomlinson (Scunthorpe United)
Mike Gatting (Arsenal)
Audley Harrison (Watford)
The earliest recorded case of match-fixing | Football | guardian.co.uk
BEFORE THEY WERE FAMOUS (2)
Last week we talked about celebrities who had trials with professional clubs when they were younger. But it seems our list was far from comprehensive...
We left out celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay, for a start, who played twice for Rangers' first team against St Johnstone and Morton. "Both away and both shit in the sense that I played 20 minutes and 10 minutes," he reminisced. "Of course it's so competitive that when I made it into the squad of 18 I wet myself with excitement, I was over the moon. But I was also very, very nervous. The games were really violent, not like the football we see nowadays. And then I got my bad injury. I tore my ligaments, and it was a heartache. I worked my way back to fitness but Jock Wallace was the Rangers manager then, and he was a Scottish version of Mike Tyson. When he wanted to rip your arse out, he would crucify you. I still remember him telling me they were letting me go. He was f***ing ruthless. We were only in there about five minutes and I wanted to cry but I couldn't cry because I wouldn't even dream of crying anywhere near Jock Wallace."
Rod Stewart served an apprenticeship at Brentford before working out he could sing. "He trained with us for a week or two," recalled Bees deputy president Eric White, "and he may even have kicked a ball around with the juniors, but there is no record of Rod Stewart ever having signed to Brentford. Unfortunately, nobody at the club remembers his time here."
The other forgotten names we dug up are:
Ronnie O'Sullivan (Tottenham)
Boris Becker (Bayern Munich)
Craig Charles (Tranmere)
Mike Yarwood (Oldham)
Martin Kemp (Arsenal)
Daley Thompson (Mansfield)
Jimmy Tarbuck (Brighton)
Stan Boardman (Liverpool)
Leonard Rossiter (Everton)
Johnny Marr (Manchester City)
Simon Webbe (Stoke)
Charlie Williams (Doncaster)
Eddie Large (Manchester City)
Nicky Byrne (Leeds)
Anthony LaPaglia (Adelaide City)
Gavin Rossdale (Chelsea)
And then there are those who opted out of the footballing dream. Take Sean Connery: he turned down trials, first with East Fife, and then with Manchester United, to become James Bond. "I really wanted to accept [United] because I'd always loved the game," he said. "But I stopped to assess it and asked myself: what's the length of a footballer's career? It turned out to be one of my more intelligent moves." Sir Clive Woodward, meanwhile, apparently had his chance to try out for Everton snatched away when his dad made him move to a rugby school. "One in the eye for the 'he doesn't have a footballing background' brigade," chortles James Andrews.
BEFORE THEY WERE FAMOUS
"With Robbie Williams being invited to train with Bayern Munich and his old mate Jonathan Wilkes looking so good in various charity matches, I was wondering which celebrities had trials with football clubs when they were younger?" asks Patrice van Kloppenburg.
It's always been a bit peculiar to associate the majority of celebrities with significant football ability - like imagining your teachers in flagrante - but a number were on the books of league clubs, or at least had trials with them, in their youth.
Take Angus Deayton, who had a trial with Crystal Palace at the age of 12, or Luciano Pavarotti, who was put through his paces at Modena - even more improbably, he was a winger - while perma-tanned crooner Julio Iglesias was on the books of Real Madrid as a goalkeeper of some promise before a car crash in 1963 ended his career.
Pope John Paul II, in the days before he supported Fulham, was a keeper with Polish team Wadowice, while Rik Waller was on the books of Liverpool as a youngster. OK, so we made that last one up. But here are some other bona fide triallists:
David Essex (Leyton Orient)
Des O'Connor (Northampton)
Sir David Frost (Nottingham Forest)
Mark Owen (Manchester United)
Bradley Walsh (Brentford)
Perry Fenwick (Leyton Orient)
Ricky Tomlinson (Scunthorpe United)
Mike Gatting (Arsenal)
Audley Harrison (Watford)
The earliest recorded case of match-fixing | Football | guardian.co.uk
BEFORE THEY WERE FAMOUS (2)
Last week we talked about celebrities who had trials with professional clubs when they were younger. But it seems our list was far from comprehensive...
We left out celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay, for a start, who played twice for Rangers' first team against St Johnstone and Morton. "Both away and both shit in the sense that I played 20 minutes and 10 minutes," he reminisced. "Of course it's so competitive that when I made it into the squad of 18 I wet myself with excitement, I was over the moon. But I was also very, very nervous. The games were really violent, not like the football we see nowadays. And then I got my bad injury. I tore my ligaments, and it was a heartache. I worked my way back to fitness but Jock Wallace was the Rangers manager then, and he was a Scottish version of Mike Tyson. When he wanted to rip your arse out, he would crucify you. I still remember him telling me they were letting me go. He was f***ing ruthless. We were only in there about five minutes and I wanted to cry but I couldn't cry because I wouldn't even dream of crying anywhere near Jock Wallace."
Rod Stewart served an apprenticeship at Brentford before working out he could sing. "He trained with us for a week or two," recalled Bees deputy president Eric White, "and he may even have kicked a ball around with the juniors, but there is no record of Rod Stewart ever having signed to Brentford. Unfortunately, nobody at the club remembers his time here."
The other forgotten names we dug up are:
Ronnie O'Sullivan (Tottenham)
Boris Becker (Bayern Munich)
Craig Charles (Tranmere)
Mike Yarwood (Oldham)
Martin Kemp (Arsenal)
Daley Thompson (Mansfield)
Jimmy Tarbuck (Brighton)
Stan Boardman (Liverpool)
Leonard Rossiter (Everton)
Johnny Marr (Manchester City)
Simon Webbe (Stoke)
Charlie Williams (Doncaster)
Eddie Large (Manchester City)
Nicky Byrne (Leeds)
Anthony LaPaglia (Adelaide City)
Gavin Rossdale (Chelsea)
And then there are those who opted out of the footballing dream. Take Sean Connery: he turned down trials, first with East Fife, and then with Manchester United, to become James Bond. "I really wanted to accept [United] because I'd always loved the game," he said. "But I stopped to assess it and asked myself: what's the length of a footballer's career? It turned out to be one of my more intelligent moves." Sir Clive Woodward, meanwhile, apparently had his chance to try out for Everton snatched away when his dad made him move to a rugby school. "One in the eye for the 'he doesn't have a footballing background' brigade," chortles James Andrews.