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Diary of a Millwall fan



The Wookiee

Back From The Dead
Nov 10, 2003
15,384
Worthing
So I Spoon A L Of Coco S Down Me And Wait For The Milk To Go Chocolately Before I Finish It Off, Pull A 24 Crate Of Tinnys From The Stamford Bridge And #### Off Out Of My Place For Another Mental One.

Get To Euston Early Doors, Single Handed, Plot Up By Whsmiths And Crack Open Tin After Tin Of Fosters. Neck Them All Whilst I’m Waiting For The Rattler To Come In.

Old **** With A Watford Scarf Drops His Evening Standard The Silly Old Fool. He Takes A Proper Liberty; Looks At Me To Pick It Up For Him, Cheeky **** – Not My Fault You Have Athritis In Your Spine #### ****. I Wait For Him To Struggle And Bend Down And Kick It Out Of His Reach, Proper Ruined The Old Boy. He Looked Up At Me In Disgust And I Shouted “same Old Millwall, Takin The Piss” In His Boat Race.

7 Grams Of My Dealer’s Finest Columbian Nose Candy In My Sky Rocket And Some Little Black Sniffer Mut Comes Up To Me Waggin’ It’s Tail, The Dog Was A Wrongun, Was A Runner I Could See It In His Eyes. My Jack Russle Would Have Put It On The Soft **** Big Time.i Grab A Tin Of Pedigree Chum (chicken In Jelly) And Wrap It Round The Dogs Canister On The Sly, It ####ed Off Sharpish.

Jump On The Train And Clear Out The Alcohol Fridge, The Bloke Expects Payment But I Grab Him By His Muggy Virgin Fleece And Show Him The 3rd Blade On My Pen Knife (my Favourite), I Tell The Nothing To Re Stock The Fridges And Wait Until He Puts The Last Can In To Empty Them Again. The Bloke Had Grass Written All Over His Chubby Chase So I Pinged Him Stuck A Whole Ploughmans Sandwich In His Mouth And Duck Taped It Shut. I Cracked Open A Beer And Flicked The Froth Onto Him.

Sat Down And Started Cracking The Tinnys Open Again, Some Blind Women Sits Next To Me And I Take Full Advantage Of It By Handing Her My 12 Incher And Tell The Spastic Bint, It’s Her Umbrella. I Have Her Trying To Open It For A Full Half An Hour Before I Shoot A Load Onto Her Black Sun Glasses. She ####s Off And I Tuck Myself Back In And Carry On With The Drinking Sesh.

Drinking Pints Of Jack Daniels, Quadrople Vodka And Redbull And Glasses Of Sambucca All Afternoon (you Know The Usual) In The Town Centre. Some Scarfer Pulls Me Up In The Tudor And Tells Me A Joke, I Let Him Laugh His Own Joke Off And Then I Put A Mayfair Superking Out On His Head, Tighten Up His Scarf Real Tight And Tell The **** To Do One Before I Give Him A Dry Slap, The **** Crys Into His Official Match Programme And I Tell Him To Liven Up And Buy Him A J20 Cause I Felt Guilty. I Went To Give It To Him But Remembered I’m A Psycotic **** And Put It Over His Head And Watch Him Crumble To The Floor. I Got His Mobile Out And Sent A Msg. To His Wife & Saucepan Lids Telling Em That Her Husband Had Died In A Motorway Accident, Serves The **** Right For Being An Unfunny Wrongun No Mark.

Get To Cov And It’s All Going Off. I Wade In With A Few Left, Right Combos, Some Massive **** Waltzes Up To Me “you Millwall You ****?” Bloke Was Easily There Finest Soldier On The Battlefield So I Mercy, Mercy Him To The Ground And Give Him A Double Footed Stomp To The Head And He Has A Fit Hehe. Coventry Getting Smashed All Over The Place, I Grab One **** Hold Him With My Left Pull My Gazelle Off With My Right And Beat Him To The Floor With My Size 11 Adidas Classic.

Get To The Ground And Watch The Mighty Lions Lose In A Battling Performance, I Batter A Steward With A Jumbo Hot Dog Sausage At Half Time For Giving Me A Snide Look. Polished Off A Couple Of Steak And Kidneys And A Pint Or 8 And Caught Up With Some Long Time No Seers.

I Come Out Of The Stadium At Full Time And Ob Are Everywhere, I Run Towards Ob And They Look Mistified I Grab A Copper, Tell Him Harry Roberts Is My Mate And Pull Him Off His Police Horse, Two Swift Jabs To The Throat And He Is In A Bad Way. I Jump Onto The Horse And Ride It Towards The Legion Boys In The Car Park. The Horse Reers Up And I Fall Off And Look A **** But I Jump Up And Put 40 Or 50 Of Them On Their Arse, Throwing Punches Like They Were Going Out Of Fashion Before There Numbers Get To Much. I Run In Tescos And Put A Tesco Value Victoria Sponge On My Debit Card, Open It Up And The Thing Is Rock Hard Like I Expected So I Start Doing People With It And A Couple Of Handy Bods Get Done With The Victoria Sponge They Are Bang In Trouble Needing Immediate Medical Attention So The Legion Boys Melt And Jog On.

Bang, Some Ob Wrongun Slaps Some Cuffs On Me But I Use All My Strength And Bust The Chain Linking Them. I Tell The ****s To Catch Some Proper Crooks And Wade Into Them Single Handed. I Get Nicked Eventually After Giving The Whole Coventry Police Force A Run For Their Money.

Train Back To London When I Put My Hand Through The Thick Glass Window And Let Myself Out. Get To London And Take A Piss On A Tramp, It Trys To Move But I Drag It Back And Force This Golden Shower On It. I Nick Its 1 And 2ps And Buy A Couple Of Drumstick Lollys, A Curly Wurly And A Packet Of Salt And Vinegar Chip Sticks.

I Know What You’re Thinking, I Didn’t Pull. This Trip Was Strictly Fighting And Class A Drugs, I Go Back To The Tramp And Give Her A Score For A Blowjob Just So You Lot Wouldn’t Think I Was A Stabber. I Get A 15minute Nosh And Empty My Load On The Tramps One And Only Tooth (at The Front) And Knock It Out. #### Off Home On The Train..
 








jevs

Well-known member
Mar 24, 2004
4,375
Preston Rock Garden
Funnily enough, i know plenty of BHA supporters...who live in Brighton who talk just like that.

Infact i work with 2 (although one supports chelski)
 


hans kraay fan club

The voice of reason.
Helpful Moderator
Mar 16, 2005
62,763
Chandlers Ford
Why would a blind woman want to open an umbrella inside a train anyway?

Why would anyone type all that?

Why the f*** did I read it?
 




The Keeper

New member
Oct 22, 2005
540
West Sussex
went out last nite, got wasted, I was in a right two and eight, fell down the apple and pears, chucked up over me new claire rayners, UP THE WALL!!!
 


Djmiles

Barndoor Holroyd
Dec 1, 2005
12,064
Kitchener, Canada
Is it Bars Mar by any chance? ???
 






Gully

Monkey in a seagull suit.
Apr 24, 2004
16,812
Way out west
...and people complain about the spelling and grammatical errors on NSC.
 


The Wookiee

Back From The Dead
Nov 10, 2003
15,384
Worthing
Forest Away

So My Alarm Starts Ringing For Me To Get Up So I Smash The **** To Peices, Proper Dig It. Jump Up And Put My Pajamas And Slippers On. Splash Some Of Dagenham Market's Finest Aftershave On And Stick On My Lecoqsprotifs, Diadora Trackies And A Proper Tidy Gap Fleece. Fling The Door Open And Set Off Down The Road With A Netto Bag Full Of Special Brews.

I Jump On The Bus And Head To Euston, Paki Bus Driver Asks Me For My Oyster Card So I Keep Calm Give The Side Partening A Bit Of A Brush And Tell The **** To Stick His Oyster Up His Bengali Mowgli From Jungle Book Looking Arse Before I Show Him My Muscles, Hit Him With A Crab Stick And Giving Him A Spinning Jeelied Heel Kick. He Melts And I Walk To The Back Of The Bus.

I Carve Walls Finest Lad Woz Ere Into The Window Jump Off At Euston And Waltz Up To The Band Playing Salvation Army. Play Let Em Come You Caaant!! The Fella Gives A Confused Look So I Bust Him Wide Open With A Brass Instrument And Kick Him Around Like A Football. Take All The Donation Pots; Funds For The Day Out And Jump On The Rattler.

Proper Naughty Little Session On The Train, Many A Tinny Necked, I See A Special Needs Women On The Train And Buy Her A Yogurt From The Snack Bar In Exchange For A Blowjob. I Wheel Her Chair Into The Khazi And Sniff Some Off Her Bald Head Whilst I Get My Nob Dribbled On And Sucked.

Train Pulls Up At Nottingham And I Jump Out And Give It Some "we All Follow The Millwall.." I Decided To Take The Rasberry Ripple With Me So I Wheeled Her Off And Took Her To The Battle Cruiser, Mob Of Forest Coming Up The Hill So I Will The Spaz Down Hill And Get A Strike In One.

Get To The Battle Cruiser With The Jublee And I Buy Her 8 Shots And I Knock Back 18 Pints Of Snakebite, I Jump On The Karaoke And Start Singing 'abba ~ Thank You For The Music.' Some Snide Kid Starts Laughing At Me So I Jump Off The Stage And Bash Him With The Microphone, Proper Put It On Him. Start Strangling Him With The Cord And Choke Him Out And Nick His La Gear Light Up Trainers.

Get To The Match And Watch The Mighty Millwall Lose And Play Shit, I Drink 8 Pints Which I Don't Pay For (kept Picking Up Half Drunk Pints Mixing Them Into 1 And Complaining That The Pump Had Gone And Getting A Freshie) No Stewards Were Hurt During This Trip, Yeah Riiiight. I Grabbed One And Nutted Him 8 Times Until He Begged "i've Ad Enough" I Said "okay" He Went To Get Up And I Stomped Him Some More.

Leave The Ground And It's Going Right Off I Smack Some **** Called Ant Round The Chops With A Few Lefts And Follow Up With A Superb Right Body Punch That, That Useless Ugly Ginger Manc **** Hatton Could Have Done With Against Mayweather. It's Starting To Come On Top But I Start Floating Like A Butterfly And Stinging Like A Bee.

Well Outnumbered Now, Bout 1,000 On Me But I Stay On My Feet And Keep Battling Away. I Look At This Bod And Shout "look A Quid On The Floor" He Looks Down And I Proper Chin Him And He Hits The Deck. It All Comes Ontop So I Run Down The Hill Towards The Station With The Wheelchair Bird, Like Something Off A Bobslay Race - Jump On The Back And We Ride Down The Hill Easily Breaking The Land Speed Record.

I Jump On The Train Back To Euston, Leave The Spastic In Lost And Found And Have A Proper Session In Market Porter. Pull A Fat Bird And Eat Neopolitan Flavoured Ice Creme Off Her ****. ####er Her Up The Tradesman For Half An Hour, Wipe My Cock On Her Skirt And Kick Her Out Of My House At Gone 3 In The Morning, Rotten Slag.

I Cook Myself Scooby Doo Shapes On Toast, Put My Premier League Sticker In My Book, Sort Out My Swapsie Pile And Log Onto Facebook To See My Fans.
 


Tooting Gull

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
11,033
That's the screenplays for the next two Danny Dyer films sorted, then.
 




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