[Misc] Death of a close relative at Christmas

[PeterT]

Not the happiest headline, and I’m sorry about that.

At the weekend my uncle, like a second father to me, unexpectedly and suddenly passed away. At the top of my ‘to do’ list was that I owed him a call. We were also planning to visit him. Apart from my immediate family, no one had been in my corner the whole of my life from day 1, literally day 1. I started writing out a list of all the things he had done for me, it was a long list and too difficult to carry on writing.

I got the call during the final on Sunday and suddenly none of that mattered anymore.

I lost my father a few years ago but he was very ill and when he died it was a merciful release, but my uncle was full of life and really switched on. He had a good innings and I know that life is always finite, but it leaves an enormous hole.

I know that time does heal to a degree but right now it feels incredibly raw and celebrating during the next week or two will be very difficult.

 

[Questions]

I’d pick my mother in Law.

Oops edit: sorry for your loss.

 

[Normal Rob]

This Christmas eve will be the 10th anniversary of my dad's passing. On Christmas morning I was supposed to be collecting he and my mum to come over for lunch, instead i was collecting my brother from the airport. Everyone else was so happy that loved ones had made it for Christmas. Not us. It still hurts.

 

[southstandandy]

Sorry for your loss. I sort of know what it's like at this time of year as my father nearly died 10 days ago with PE's (blood clots) and has been in hospital since. I know it's no consolation but your not alone. Remember the good times you had. Best wishes.

 

[Brok]

I’d pick my mother in Law.

Oops edit: sorry for your loss.

I really, really, shouldn't have laughed at that. Sorry.

 

[juliant]

Sorry for your loss.

I'm sure its raw now but given time it will be a time to look back at this time of year and reflect on the person and the memories.

That's what I'm planning to do about my Nan who passed away 8 years ago tomorrow. Christmas for me now means a time of celebration in many ways more

 

[dazzer6666]

Not the happiest headline, and I’m sorry about that.

At the weekend my uncle, like a second father to me, unexpectedly and suddenly passed away. At the top of my ‘to do’ list was that I owed him a call. We were also planning to visit him. Apart from my immediate family, no one had been in my corner the whole of my life from day 1, literally day 1. I started writing out a list of all the things he had done for me, it was a long list and too difficult to carry on writing.

I got the call during the final on Sunday and suddenly none of that mattered anymore.

I lost my father a few years ago but he was very ill and when he died it was a merciful release, but my uncle was full of life and really switched on. He had a good innings and I know that life is always finite, but it leaves an enormous hole.

I know that time does heal to a degree but right now it feels incredibly raw and celebrating during the next week or two will be very difficult.

Sorry to hear. Understand your feelings entirely, my MIL took her own life just before Christmas…..won’t feel like it now but as they say time is a great healer.

 

[Glawstergull]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.
Having lost both of my parents in a short time a few years ago all i can offer is to try to concentrate on what you had and what you shared.
Don't be hard on yourself and when you have a memory smile dont cry.
Have a peaceful Christmas.

 

[kevo]

Sorry to hear about your loss. Had a similar experience, it is very difficult. Just try to get through the next few days the best you can.

 

[Thunder Bolt]

I'm sorry for your loss and it must be a shock. Give yourself time to grieve but don't feel guilty if you want to enjoy some of Christmas. Your uncle wouldn't want you to be unhappy.

 

[Greg Bobkin]

Not the happiest headline, and I’m sorry about that.

At the weekend my uncle, like a second father to me, unexpectedly and suddenly passed away. At the top of my ‘to do’ list was that I owed him a call. We were also planning to visit him. Apart from my immediate family, no one had been in my corner the whole of my life from day 1, literally day 1. I started writing out a list of all the things he had done for me, it was a long list and too difficult to carry on writing.

I got the call during the final on Sunday and suddenly none of that mattered anymore.

I lost my father a few years ago but he was very ill and when he died it was a merciful release, but my uncle was full of life and really switched on. He had a good innings and I know that life is always finite, but it leaves an enormous hole.

I know that time does heal to a degree but right now it feels incredibly raw and celebrating during the next week or two will be very difficult.

Sorry for your loss.

You're right that events such as that put things firmly in perspective. Make the most of family (if you like them) while they're here, folks!

 

[A mex eyecan]

Sorry to hear that, but if it’s any help the years go by and it does get easier.

Many years ago My MIL had a stroke on my birthday. She spent the next 6 months in near vegetive state in a care home. On Christmas day the same year she died at 13:30, so every year now a toast is raised between main course and dessert.

I also lost my G Mother on a Boxing Day and my other G Mother on New Year’s eve.

 

[jakarta]

My father died 12th December 1996 and my father-in-law 20th December 1999.

In both cases their presents were wrapped & ready to go under the tree.

While all family bereavements are tragic, this time of year is especially bad.

Keep close to the rest of your family & think of the good times you all had.

In my experience the grief won't go away (I still have dreams that I am talking to my father) but it will slowly fade as the rest of your normal life kicks in.

 

[Icy Gull]

I feel your pain, my grandfather died on 24 December and my father on 28 Dec, both sudden and unexpected. My parents were round for a pre Christmas dinner on 22 December and my father was on fine form. I took comfort that I’d seen him so close to his sudden death, but it was heartbreaking, more so for my Mum who survived him by over 20 years. Condolences

 

[Jam The Man]

Sorry to hear this news.
Loss like you’ve described is very hard to accept.
Thoughts with your family at this time.

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

Deepest condolences @PeterT ...

Bereavement is tough and made especially worse at this time of year when joy, kindness, laughter and happiness are supposed to be the theme.
I can only hope that you find happy memories to smile about and with the help of healing time, can look back with good memories of a life you shared.

 

[SteveU]

My Dad passed away 3 years ago on Boxing Day, still feels and hurts like yesterday.

 

[jcdenton08]

I’m very sorry to everyone who has lost loved ones. Christmas has and will never be the same since Dad died; I am thankful every day for the time I have with loved ones, but especially over Christmas.

 

[upthealbion1970]

So sorry for your loss, lost my mum 23rd January this year and tomorrow would have been her 76th birthday…. One of my staff lost her mum last week, my boss lost his mother in law the next day and a cousin 2 days ago

Condolences to you and family

 

[dejavuatbtn]

Sorry for your loss but be blessed that you have so many fond memories to sustain you going forwards.
This is the first Christmas that me and the missus are the old’uns. My mum was the last of her generation to go earlier in the year. I hope we are remembered by the family as fondly as your uncle is.