[Humour] Dad jokes or puns

[LANGDON SEAGULL]

My wife went to Indonesia

Jakarta?

No, she flew

My wife went on an art and craft holiday to Devon

Paignton?

No she did Pottery

 

[Lindfield by the Pond]

A couple of days before my uncle passed in desperation we tried rubbing lard on his back. Sadly he went downhill quickly after that.

 

[DavidinSouthampton]

My wife went to Indonesia

Jakarta?

No, she flew

When I first heard it, she went by train.

 

[Skaville]

When I first heard it, she went by train.

Must be someone else’s wife

 

[Skaville]

What’s the fastest cake in the world?

Scone


What’s the fastest milk in the world?

Pasteurise

 

[Cordwainer]

What’s pink, wrinkly, smells of wee and goes in and out?


Your grandparents doing the Hokey Cokey.

 

[W3D]

I was checking in at the airport and the lady said "window or aisle"
I said "window or you'll what?"

 

[Worried Man Blues]

War horse and Dray horse..............War horse darts into the fray.........and a Dray horse.........

 

[Cordwainer]

How many South Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Brazilians.

 

[thedonkeycentrehalf]

My wife went to Poole.

In Dorset?

Yes, she highly recommends it.

 

[Fignon's Ponytail]

True or false...Lynn Faulds Wood?

 

[zeemeeuw]

(credit Bob Mortimer's creation, Peter Beardsley's Joke book).

I asked the Doctor if he had something for excessive wind, he gave me a kite.

My Friend said he got a new job working at the bowling alley.
I said Ten Pin?
He said no it's a permanent job.

 

[LANGDON SEAGULL]

I was going to rescue a hippie drowning at sea, but he was too far out man