[Humour] Dad jokes or puns

[jackanada]

What's the difference between a truck load of bricks and a truck load of babies?
Can't unload bricks with a pitchfork.

 

[DavidinSouthampton]

Why did the elephant paint his balls red? - so he could hide in a cherry tree.
What's the loudest noise in the jungle? - a giraffe eating cherries

How does an elephant get down from a cherry tree?
sits on a leaf and waits for Autumn

 

[Bodian]

How does an elephant get down from a cherry tree?
sits on a leaf and waits for Autumn

I can jump higher than an elephant you know.....
Really?
Yes - have you ever seen an elephant jump?

 

[Simster]

How do male elephants find female elephants in the long grass?

Very nice.

 

[dsr-burnley]

How does an elephant get down from a cherry tree?
sits on a leaf and waits for Autumn

He doesn't. He gets down from a duck.

 

[dsr-burnley]

There were five ants went to hire a flat, but were turned down. So they found five more friends and then had no problem - they were ten-ants.

 

[monty uk]

I collected a roll of bubble wrap for my boss yesterday morning and asked him what I should do with it. He said to pop it in the corner of the room.

Took me all day.

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

There were five ants went to hire a flat, but were turned down. So they found five more friends and then had no problem - they were ten-ants.

Two Irishmen went to the job centre. They asked what vacancies they had.

The job center person said “we need tree fellers”.

“that’s a shame, there’s only two of us”.

 

[The Clamp]

What’s the bounciest place in France?

The Dordogne!!

 

[Coldeanseagull]

What’s the bounciest place in France?

The Dordogne!!

Every time I hear this one I still chuckle!

 

[Triton]

What are the advantages of living in Switzerland?
The Flag is a big plus!

 

[Triton]

I tried ten puns on my wife to try and get a smile, but no pun in ten did!

 

[Muzzman]

I've finally managed to weigh a rainbow...

Turns out it's pretty light.

 

[Mr Bridger]

Lord Nelson was 5ft 6in.

His statue is 17ft 4in.

That's Horatio of 3:1.

 

[LANGDON SEAGULL]

My wife went to the Caribbean

Jamaica?

No she went on her own accord

 

[W3D]

I caught up with an old girlfriend the other day, I knew she'd slow down eventually

 

[W3D]

We've decided to get rid of our Dyson... Well, it was only collecting dust

 

[jessiejames]

Didnt understand why my Boomerang would not come back, then it hit me.

 

[Coldeanseagull]

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick

 

[Skaville]

My wife went to the Caribbean

Jamaica?

No she went on her own accord

My wife went to Indonesia

Jakarta?

No, she flew