[Humour] Dad jokes or puns

[Herr Tubthumper]

Who doesn’t like, or should that be pike, a fish pun? Or a groan inducing dad joke? i love both but cannot split the two, over to you.

 

[Thunder Bolt]

Where’s the option for both?

 

[HeaviestTed]

I like both, I work with an American team and every afternoon we have a meeting (their morning) and at the end of the meeting we have a dad joke - I thought it was pretty cringey but now I look forward to it.

Why didn’t the skeleton win the football match? His heart wasn’t in it

 

[Bakero]

The last time I entered a dad joke and pun contest, it was won by a scarecrow. The judges said he was outstanding in his field.

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

Where’s the option for both?

This was a conscious decision as I want to force a choice.. Maybe I should have added both.

 

[Mileoakman]

I hate sponsoring people to enter marathons. They just take your money and run.

 

[Van Cleef]

The German Shepherd from next door keeps crapping in my garden.
And his dogs just as bad.

 

[HeaviestTed]

why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiots house. Knock knock, who is there? The chicken

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

My mate showed me his stepladder. He never knew his real ladder

 

[Paulie Gualtieri]

I like both, I work with an American team and every afternoon we have a meeting (their morning) and at the end of the meeting we have a dad joke - I thought it was pretty cringey but now I look forward to it.

Why didn’t the skeleton win the football match? His heart wasn’t in it

Innocent fun, one level below yanking their chain

 

[Pickles]

If you lot like a joke with innuendo, I'll give you one.

 

[Dick Swiveller]

If you lot like a joke with innuendo, I'll give you one.

Isn't that an Italian suppository?

 

[Mr Bridger]

I’ve got a date with a woman who identifies as a wheelie bin, but I can’t remember if I’m taking her out Tuesday or Thursday.

 

[AK74]

Who doesn’t like, or should that be pike, a fish pun? Or a groan inducing dad joke? i love both but cannot split the two, over to you.

Unsure where to plaice my vote.

 

[Algernon]

I got in a cab the other day.
The driver asked me "where to Guv"?
I replied "Do you know King Arthurs Close"?
He said " That's ok, I'll lose him at the next set of lights"

 

[Chicken Run]

I hate sponsoring people to enter marathons. They just take your money and run.

I was seeing a GP this week, she said I need to stop masterbating, I said oh why’s that, she replied, because I’m trying to examine you…

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

The German Shepherd from next door keeps crapping in my garden.
And his dogs just as bad.

My neighbour asked if I’d seen his dog bowl

i never knew he played cricket, I replied

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

I was seeing a GP this week, she said I need to stop masterbating, I said oh why’s that, she replied, because I’m trying to examine you…

A friend’s son was sent home for masterbating in class. Maybe teaching isn’t for him.

 

[pasty]

I confused Colgate toothpaste with Anusol last week. Didn’t do much for my teeth but at least now I have a ring of confidence.

 

[Chicken Run]

Why didn’t Barbie ever get pregnant by Ken?

Because he came in a different box