Cyclists protesting about road safety

[seagullwedgee]

Side by siders are the most ignorant tosspots of all. Chatting about complete and utter meaningless shite that no normal person would ever be interested in, because they have no friends, other than other spandex wearing crap spouting side by side tosspots.

 

[Soulman]

What about the tossers who take bloody folding bikes on the train to work? Taking up room on crowded trains, dressed like Spandex Wankers when everyone else is suited and booted. Then they cycle from the station to the office, with their shitty cheap suit crumpled in their rucksack, walk in smelling and sweating, lurid spandex shouting out "look at me and how fit I am", whilst really saying "I'm a tossing cheapskate with a folding bike, I smell but I'm saving the planet", whilst everyone in the office raises their eyebrows skywards in unison, tuts, and mutters under their breath "lurid, smelly, sweaty, cheapskate, eco-warrior, Spandex wanker". You know who you are.

 

[ozzygull]

Side by siders are the most ignorant tosspots of all. Chatting about complete and utter meaningless shite that no normal person would ever be interested in, because they have no friends, other than other spandex wearing crap spouting side by side tosspots.

Wow! You sound very bitter.

 

[BBassic]

Amount of times I've nearly been hit by a car: 1
Amount of times I've nearly been hit by a cyclist: 10+

The thing that hacks me off the most is they make it out to be my fault that they've jumped the red light.

 

[BN9 BHA]

Nah. Side by side they're blocking the road, causing problems. One behind the other is much better. If the one in front hits a drain or pot hole and goes down heavily, the second one is bound to follow, which is far more satisfying. Two Spandex Wankers in the dirt with ripped Spandex and tarmac burns, for the price of one.

 

[seagullwedgee]

Surely these spandex wankers watch cycling on the telly? Have you seen Cycling on telly, always one behind the other, drafting or slipstreaming to economise effort, makes sense, but no, not the Spandex wearing eco warrior shite talking side by side tosspots. They can't do that, they have to go side by side and talk shite. Get back in the gym or the velodrome you ignorant tossers, and free the traffic to get on its way quicker, growing the economy, and making Britain great again. It's you bloody spandex wearing tosspots who are actually holding Britain back. You know who you are.

 

[seagullwedgee]

I bloody love October and November each year. Not only do the Albion tend to go on a decent unbeaten run. But leaves fall from the trees. And lay in gutters decomposing and going oily and greasy. Meaning the spandex wearing tosspots slide all over the bloody place like on ice, great to watch. Meanwhile, the intelligent spandex wearing tosspots realise the danger and leave their bike in their ridiculously over crowded hallway blocking everything up for a few weeks, while the leaves clear. Which is good for all of us, because it reduces the number of spandex wearing tosspots on the road by about 50% for those two months, meaning we can all get on with our lives, in the knowledge that there are still just the occasional spandex wearing tosspots out there, nursing skin burns after a nasty slidemon wet leaves. You know who you are, stay home, and stay safe. Or walk on the pavement. Or buy a car you bloody cheapskates, or use public transport. Get a life.

 

[seagullwedgee]

And there's one other thing that really gets my goat, and one thing that makes me PMSL.

Spandex Wankers who wear those shitty little tosspot cameras on their lurid helmet, so they think they can do what they want and hope the camera records something they can use in a bloody lawsuit. Spend your money a car you tosspots, not an expensive camera for the tip of your lurid pink helmet.

And what makes me laugh is the particular breed of spandex wanker who thinks he's Bradley bloody McFroome-Hoy, the one who wears those clickety clackety shoes with cleats that clip into their pedals. I bloody love it when something happens and they can't release their cleats from the pedals and so they can't free their legs to cushion their fall, far more value for money. They're the ones who should wear helmet cams so we can see the extra pain endured when they go down with their feet firmly clasped to the metal and the Tarmac.

 

[BN9 BHA]

[MENTION=27125]Wrong-Direction[/MENTION], seagull wedgee has stolen your crown.

 

[brightn'ove]

I'm aware there is a lot of sarcasm in this thread at the moment but anybody who genuinely hates 'cyclists' is thick-as-pigshit. That's a fact.

 

[nigeyb]

I imagine all road users are familiar with the Highway Code so posting this is completely unnecessary however the tone of some of the posts makes me wonder

Motorcyclists and cyclists (rules 211 to 213)

Rule 211
It is often difficult to see motorcyclists and cyclists, especially when they are coming up from behind, coming out of junctions, at roundabouts, overtaking you or filtering through traffic. Always look out for them before you emerge from a junction; they could be approaching faster than you think. When turning right across a line of slow-moving or stationary traffic, look out for cyclists or motorcyclists on the inside of the traffic you are crossing. Be especially careful when turning, and when changing direction or lane. Be sure to check mirrors and blind spots carefully.




Rule 212
When passing motorcyclists and cyclists, give them plenty of room (see Rules 162 to 167). If they look over their shoulder it could mean that they intend to pull out, turn right or change direction. Give them time and space to do so.

Rule 213
Motorcyclists and cyclists may suddenly need to avoid uneven road surfaces and obstacles such as drain covers or oily, wet or icy patches on the road. Give them plenty of room and pay particular attention to any sudden change of direction they may have to make.

 

[seagullwedgee]

I don't hate "cyclists".

I just hate the side by side, shite talking, spandex wearing, folding bike tosspots, eco-warriors, cleat wearing, camera-shod, overweight in lycra pricks who block out bloody roads and put pedestrians in danger. Just those ones.

Nerys the District Nurse? Percy the Postie? They're fine. Because they're not wearing far too small lurid spandex, they're not riding side by side, they don't shot red lights and maim pedestrians, they don't wear cameras and cleats, they don't block the road, and they don't claim to be saving the planet, and they don't stink my house or my office out with their sweaty bollocks. They just do something useful, like delivering letters, or delivering babies. They're fine.

It's all the other spandex wankers I can't be done with, that's all.

 

[BN9 BHA]

Rule 212
When passing motorcyclists and cyclists, give them plenty of room (see Rules 162 to 167). If they look over their shoulder it could mean that they intend to pull out, turn right or change direction. Give them time and space to do so.

RULE 212- A.
At all times, second guess what a cyclist is going to do.

 

[Notters]

On my journeys home in the evening i am seeing more and more cyclists on the seafront without any lights and dressed in dark clothing. I recently had a near miss along the seafront when a cyclist rode straight across the carriageway in the dark and almost into my path and was barely visible until the last second. No lights, dark clothing, not looking - the full house.

Most cyclists are sensible thankfully but these idiots will only have themselves to blame when they end up in hospital - or worse.

I don't doubt you do but I see far more cars driving in thick fog / pouring rain /snow / in the dark without lights on than i do bikes.

Oh and calling [MENTION=16399]pb21[/MENTION]

 

[Bob!]

I don't hate "cyclists".

I just hate the side by side, shite talking, spandex wearing, folding bike tosspots, eco-warriors, cleat wearing, camera-shod, overweight in lycra pricks who block out bloody roads and put pedestrians in danger. Just those ones.

Nerys the District Nurse? Percy the Postie? They're fine. Because they're not wearing far too small lurid spandex, they're not riding side by side, they don't shot red lights and maim pedestrians, they don't wear cameras and cleats, they don't block the road, and they don't claim to be saving the planet, and they don't stink my house or my office out with their sweaty bollocks. They just do something useful, like delivering letters, or delivering babies. They're fine.

It's all the other spandex wankers I can't be done with, that's all.

Ah, I'm ok then.

 

[seagullwedgee]

I can't blieve you've taken the time to go and find that Highway Code piffle, and post it, when all it shows is a bloody motorcyclist!

They're fine, because they don't wear spandex, they don't smell. And if they have a 5 mile journey to do they do it in single file, in about 6 minutes, doing something useful like delivering pizzas, or blood, or draft marketing materials. Not like bloody spandex wearing tosspots who ride side by side, taking 40 minutes for the same journey, causing carnage and blockages, and doing nothing useful at all.

Motor cycles don't block the road, they do something useful, they look good and they make a nice noise.

Spandex Wankers do the complete opposite.

 

[BN9 BHA]

Ah, I'm ok then.

Nerys the District nurse?

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

I don't hate "cyclists".

I just hate the side by side, shite talking, spandex wearing, folding bike tosspots, eco-warriors, cleat wearing, camera-shod, overweight in lycra pricks who block out bloody roads and put pedestrians in danger. Just those ones.

Nerys the District Nurse? Percy the Postie? They're fine. Because they're not wearing far too small lurid spandex, they're not riding side by side, they don't shot red lights and maim pedestrians, they don't wear cameras and cleats, they don't block the road, and they don't claim to be saving the planet, and they don't stink my house or my office out with their sweaty bollocks. They just do something useful, like delivering letters, or delivering babies. They're fine.

It's all the other spandex wankers I can't be done with, that's all.

I think the joke is wearing a bit thin now. Quit while you're slightly ahead.

 

[seagullwedgee]

Ok. My job is done!

 

[Notters]

And there's one other thing that really gets my goat, and one thing that makes me PMSL.

Spandex Wankers who wear those shitty little tosspot cameras on their lurid helmet, so they think they can do what they want and hope the camera records something they can use in a bloody lawsuit. Spend your money a car you tosspots, not an expensive camera for the tip of your lurid pink helmet.

And what makes me laugh is the particular breed of spandex wanker who thinks he's Bradley bloody McFroome-Hoy, the one who wears those clickety clackety shoes with cleats that clip into their pedals. I bloody love it when something happens and they can't release their cleats from the pedals and so they can't free their legs to cushion their fall, far more value for money. They're the ones who should wear helmet cams so we can see the extra pain endured when they go down with their feet firmly clasped to the metal and the Tarmac.

People who spout this sort of bile are surely committing a hate crime?