Cure for Plague?

[Fur Cough]

Anyone got a cure for Bubonic Plague or Ebola Zaire or whatever similarly unpleasant nasty I seem to have picked up?

First day off sick in at about 5 years and think I may not make the day.

Pray for me.

 

[skipper734]

If you don't get lumps under your arms or blood running out of your eyes, I think maybe the best you can do is stay warm in bed and hit the Lemsips.

 

[Tricky Dicky]

Isn't it "eye of newt" for the plague ? I'll check with my GP.

 

[Kumquat]

Anyone got a cure for Bubonic Plague or Ebola Zaire or whatever similarly unpleasant nasty I seem to have picked up?

First day off sick in at about 5 years and think I may not make the day.

Pray for me.

Have you tried NHS Direct

 

[aolstudios]

Anyone got a cure for Bubonic Plague or Ebola Zaire or whatever similarly unpleasant nasty I seem to have picked up?

First day off sick in at about 5 years and think I may not make the day.

Pray for me.

If you can keep it down, Coke (the drink - flat if it's easier for you) and salty pasta. Sounds bizarre but the quack said it made medical sense and it worked (gradually) for me. Obviously I take no responsibility if you die...

 

[Tricky Dicky]

If you can keep it down, Coke (the drink - flat if it's easier for you) and salty pasta. Sounds bizarre but the quack said it made medical sense and it worked (gradually) for me. Obviously I take no responsibility if you die...

Just trying to think about that one. Coke ... so that's basically sugar, doesn't seem unreasonable to keep your blood sugar up - if you're feeling unwell, you're likely to not want to eat, so nothing wrong with that. Salty Pasta - well, the salt will dehydrate you, I would have thought you'd want to be more hydrated as you're likely to be sweating more and losing fluids. Pasta, of course, is carbs, so you get a bit of energy.

Can't see anything particularly wrong with this intake, but it's no panacea, for sure.

 

[KZNSeagull]

I highly recommend a course of leeches.

Coke is excellent at cleaning stains in the toilet, so it may work on the Plague.

 

[Durlston]

Have you had the flu jab, fur cough?

I was the only one that didn't in my family last year and sweated like hell for four days, hallucinated at night when I was trying to sleep, vomited bright yellow phlegm and felt like I needed to be hospitalised. All you can do is drink water, old chap. It will go in a few days.

 

[Life After Bobby]

Salty Pasta - well, the salt will dehydrate you, I would have thought you'd want to be more hydrated as you're likely to be sweating more and losing fluids. Pasta, of course, is carbs, so you get a bit of energy.

Actually you need salt to rehydrate - it helps us absorb liquids. Sweating and losing fluids will take salt out of your body, which then makes it harder for your body to retain added fluids topping up your salt levels. Usually salt levels are not a problem because there is far too much of them in our foods.

 

[Tricky Dicky]

Actually you need salt to rehydrate - it helps us absorb liquids. Sweating and losing fluids will take salt out of your body, which then makes it harder for your body to retain added fluids topping up your salt levels. Usually salt levels are not a problem because there is far too much of them in our foods.

Of course, that's why I don't see the need to add more.

 

[Heffle Gull]

My GP Told me Flat Coke was Good, but Flat Pepsi was better.

Not sure why this would be. More Sugar in Pepsi maybe?

 

[Life After Bobby]

Of course, that's why I don't see the need to add more.

It's needed if liquid is coming out uncontrollably from every orifice...although now I've introduced that image I wish I hadn't

 

[pastafarian]

1 x bottle of port + 1 x 1/2 bottle of brandy,mix and enjoy.
cures all known seasonal plagues.resulting hangover will mask any symptoms that may continue.

please dont try this if you are a two pint screamer!

 

[Fur Cough]

Have you tried NHS Direct

Not yet, I am currently covered in Leeches having just finished a bowl of salty alphabety Spaghetti (didn't have pasta) garnished with "eye of newt" washed down with flat Irn Bru. I am about to take the Port and Brandy option also.

Should none of these tried and tested remedies work I will go down the alternative medicine route and call NHS Direct.

 

[upthealbion1970]

Have you turned yourself off and on again

 

[Kumquat]

Not yet, I am currently covered in Leeches having just finished a bowl of salty alphabety Spaghetti (didn't have pasta) garnished with "eye of newt" washed down with flat Irn Bru. I am about to take the Port and Brandy option also.

Should none of these tried and tested remedies work I will go down the alternative medicine route and call NHS Direct.

Don't bother. NSC have been more use to you so far than those muppets would be.

 

[Uncle C]

Coca Cola contains caffeine which is a stimulant and quinine which is used to treat malaria. I doubt the sugar has any curative effect.

 

[perseus]

Snotty Nose Blues

Take a shot of Malaria

Seriously, I have got the lurgy. It seems most of Lancing has got it as well. My eyes are permanently streaming which is very rare for me.

 

[Maverick]

Just googled it and found this-

"Making a victim of the plague sweat and then applying to buboes a recently killed pigeon was a popular ‘cure’"

Hope this helps.

By the way, "buboes" - is swelling of the lymph nodes. ( i had to google that as well)