Baldseagull
Well-known member
100% correct, as a very young child I went through the care system in Worthing, and some unpleasant things happened to me including violence and abuse, that still affect me and that I have not fully worked through yet, but it is not an excuse for repeating the cycle. I try my very best to be a good father, I caught myself once being very frustrated with my daughter, who was really pushing me. I went to grab her, & stopped myself dead before my hands went around her throat...
I honestly do not know why or where it came from and I am deeply ashamed to this day.
I could see the fear in her eyes, it was like I was looking at myself when I was young.
I walked out of the room, got my car keys and drove to the top of the racecourse and sobbed my eyes out.
I can see how the circle can continue, I have never since come close to that again, now when she pushes me, which is natural, a child finding boundaries. I just simply count to ten and leave the room, I leave her to calm down and if I feel she is wrong, I simply tell her I am disappointed in her attitude or behaviour, you know what, that works.
In this unpleasant case, I feel the man (if you can call him that) maybe trying to punish the mother of the child by neglecting or abusing the son. At the end of the day, the poor child lost his life to a cold callous disturbed **** who hopefully will be dealt some kind of justice in prison, by the law of the courts but preferably by the law of the jungle.
Many parents find themselves close to losing it, it is rare for anyone to have a kid that never tests your limits, be proud that you didn't rather than ashamed that you came close.