[Humour] Confessions

[portlock seagull]

I’m pissing self laughing at a Simon Mayo confession. They’re often gems, but this time I know the confessor. Kept it secret for decades! Known all that time too.

Made me think, have you kept a (non violent/criminal) secret for years…and it’s time to fess up?

NSC is listening / here for you!

 

[HeaviestTed]

I like pies, I hadn’t dared admit it until now

 

[Is it PotG?]

I hope nobody is reading this, to this day I have lived with remorse, regret and shame.

One Saturday back in 2022 I entered The Amex with a BOTTLE TOP.

I know, I know. But we all make mistakes.

 

[dadams2k11]

I hope nobody is reading this, to this day I have lived with remorse, regret and shame.

One Saturday back in 2022 I entered The Amex with a BOTTLE TOP.

I know, I know. But we all make mistakes.

Yea, but is it as bad as the young lady behind the till forgetting to take the lid off my Fanta, and me running off up to my seat?

Still not slept properly after that.

 

[AmexRuislip]

I’m pissing self laughing at a Simon Mayo confession. They’re often gems, but this time I know the confessor. Kept it secret for decades! Known all that time too.

Made me think, have you kept a (non violent/criminal) secret for years…and it’s time to fess up?

NSC is listening / here for you!

A couple of years ago, there was this old balding geezer giving it large in a pub we were at.
Saying how great his football team were and all others were losers.
I had the last laugh, I put laxative in his IPA.




































My bad, it turned out the bloke was an Albion fan who drank in the Jolly Woodman

 

[portlock seagull]

A couple of years ago, there was this old balding geezer giving it large in a pub we were at.
Saying how great his football team were and all others were losers.
I had the last laugh, I put laxative in his IPA.




































My bad, it turned out the bloke was an Albion fan who drank in the Jolly Woodman

Dodgy pub that one, probably deserved

 

[Coldeanseagull]

The iron giant really turns me on, it's sleek metallic lines are guaranteed to send me into a heavenly state


I like big bots and I cannot lie

 

[Questions]

I like pies, I hadn’t dared admit it until now

You’re amongst friends now

 

[SeagullinExile]

Mine is far too outrageous and just wrong to admit to. I may change my mind after a few beers though....watch this space.

Just to put peoples minds at rest, it wasn’t anything illegal....just outrageous. I do believe I may go to hell for this particular incident though!

 

[Van Cleef]

Mine is far too outrageous and just wrong to admit to. I may change my mind after a few beers though....watch this space.

Just to put peoples minds at rest, it wasn’t anything illegal....just outrageous. I do believe I may go to hell for this particular incident though!

Confess, confess.

 

[SeagullinExile]

All I can say now is it involved a stag do, the corresponding Hen do, at least two Ecstasy pills and a church....

 

[Perry's Tracksuit Bottoms]

A couple of years ago, there was this old balding geezer giving it large in a pub we were at.
Saying how great his football team were and all others were losers.
I had the last laugh, I put laxative in his IPA.

Was he on his way to a Tom Jones concert?

 

[sparkie]

Mine was a daring school 'jape' but was actually illegal so will remain just in my memory.

 

[kojak]

I never went to hereford

 

[Goldstone1976]

‘Promise me you won’t sleep with my sister’, says my then GF.

‘I promise I won’t’.

And I didn’t.

But she’d used the wrong tense in her request for reassurance.

 

[Taybha]

When I were a lad many moons ago at the tender age of 17 my eye was caught by what I thought was a particularly attractive lass and her friend in Shades,I smiled and she actually smiled back,we left for the Pink Coconut and deep joy later on I spotted her on the dance floor,I put my shandy down and decided to saunter over and make my move,fully sober,I squeezed in right next to her and showed her some shapes she'd probably not seen before and it worked! I introduced myself and she told me her name,I had a few dances and thought I'm well in here and decided to go in for the first kiss,she pulled away slightly and said do you want to kiss me? I said erm yes I do, again she said your quite sure,by the time she'd said sure I was puckering up and gave her a pleasing smooch .

That's it nothing else happened because she then told me I was sweet,awwww,I said thank you Biba! .

I won't explain to you whippersnappers but those of a certain age will realise my terrible mistake

 

[BadFish]

When I were a lad many moons ago at the tender age of 17 my eye was caught by what I thought was a particularly attractive lass and her friend in Shades,I smiled and she actually smiled back,we left for the Pink Coconut and deep joy later on I spotted her on the dance floor,I put my shandy down and decided to saunter over and make my move,fully sober,I squeezed in right next to her and showed her some shapes she'd probably not seen before and it worked! I introduced myself and she told me her name,I had a few dances and thought I'm well in here and decided to go in for the first kiss,she pulled away slightly and said do you want to kiss me? I said erm yes I do, again she said your quite sure,by the time she'd said sure I was puckering up and gave her a pleasing smooch .

That's it nothing else happened because she then told me I was sweet,awwww,I said thank you Biba! .

I won't explain to you whippersnappers but those of a certain age will realise my terrible mistake

She gave you a cold sore?

 

[HalfaSeatOn]

Set up a Twitter account with a parody name of a badly behaved neighbour (with his photo) a few years back and set forth lashing out at everyone with a range of relevant people and hashtags. He went quiet after a while so I stopped.

 

[Guinness Boy]

This feels like a milder version of Fesshole…

 

[Your Mum]

Your Mum