[Humour] Confession

[Raleigh Chopper]

Many years ago I helped to plan a trick on a guardsman that was not very well liked in Windsor barracks.
A small alarm clock was taped up inside of his bearskin and timed to go off just as the Queen was inspecting the men at Trooping of the colour.

 

[Foul Play Rocks]

Many years ago I helped to plan a trick on a guardsman that was not very well liked in Windsor barracks.
A small alarm clock was taped up inside of his bearskin and timed to go off just as the Queen was inspecting the men at Trooping of the colour.

What an alarming story. Did all go to plan?

 

[phoenix]

"I am not proud of myself"


Ahh yes, but i'm proud of you, good lad.

 

[The Wookiee]

Talking of administering urine...

I used to go to the 'Roxy' nightclub on the pier as a (late) teenager. We used to leave our pints at the side of the dance floor when we wandered up for a boogie to impress the ladies, and many times our pints would be missing when we came off.

So, we got one of our pals to hang back and watch - then he spotted a pair of lads grab pints and laugh as they walked off with them, taking nice big gulps of Fosters.

Later, we then took half a pint of lager each to the toilet, topped it up with piss - then did the same - leaving them on the ledge at the side of the dance floor.

We watched intently, and true to form they reciprocated by stealing our pints and taking big swigs, then looking at each other about ten steps later and putting them straight down.

Oh how we laughed.

I used to do this at The Gloucester - Mid 1990’s. Hilarious watching people drink pints of piss !!

 

[Raleigh Chopper]

What an alarming story. Did all go to plan?

Apparently yes.
When I next saw them (I was working in the barracks) but they got into a load of hot water with the officers.

 

[Madafwo]

We did exactly that at the Pink Coconut club, Brighton in the 80’s. In the dark, it looked exactly like Fosters, but a bit nicer.

Fixed that for you.

 

[Foul Play Rocks]

Apparently yes.
When I next saw them (I was working in the barracks) but they got into a load of hot water with the officers.

Well I suppose no harm was done and maybe amused HRH so you’re forgiven my child.

 

[Taybha]

I still watch Love boat whenever I'm home alone.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

We did exactly that at the Pink Coconut club, Brighton in the 80’s. In the dark, it looked exactly like Fosters, but a bit warmer.

In may of the pubs I frequented in the 70s.....cooler, shirley?

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

I think I need to plead for forgiveness....

When I was 17 I went to a party. I brough with me a 500 ml bijou 'bottle' of vodka. It wasn't opened, and was left by the door, on a tressel table sort of effort. It was an extremely shit party, with mum and big sister making sure nobody (all boys) stepped out of line.

Fifteen years ago, I met up with the host of the party. I hadn't seen him for 30 years. Friends Reunited. It was nice. Eventually he got around to that party. "Do you know what happened to that vodka you brought?" he asked. "No", I said. "Why?" I said. "It disappeared at some point during the evening, and me and my mum and sister can't work out who took it" he said.

Now, 44 years after the event, I confess that in a moment of madness, dissappointed there were no girls at the party, and disappointed that I wasn't even a bit pissed when I left at nine o'clock, yes, I liberated the 500ml of vodka that I had brought to that party. I have fellt very guilty ever since and wish this heavy load be lifted from my increasingly frail shoulders.

 

[Eeyore]

I still listen to Val Doonican and Cliff Richard on a regular basis.

 

[Deportivo Seagull]

Following on from [MENTION=37928]Lawro[/MENTION]sleftfoot nautical confession ...

A Petty Officer pinky tiff had me running around making tea because I was the baby sailor on the squadron. one morning took said tea mug and wiped my knob all around the rim. I’d been on the piss the previous evening and hadn’t had a shower and so was minging. I then made said tea and enjoyed watching him drink it with his stupid smug grin.

I’m not asking for forgiveness because he was a **** of the highest order and in hindsight I should have pissed in it ...


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[jimhigham]

Golden thread. Hopefully this is the sort of high standard.we can expect as the social distancing starts up.

 

[jonnyrovers]

I think I need to plead for forgiveness....

When I was 17 I went to a party. I brough with me a 500 ml bijou 'bottle' of vodka. It wasn't opened, and was left by the door, on a tressel table sort of effort. It was an extremely shit party, with mum and big sister making sure nobody (all boys) stepped out of line.

Fifteen years ago, I met up with the host of the party. I hadn't seen him for 30 years. Friends Reunited. It was nice. Eventually he got around to that party. "Do you know what happened to that vodka you brought?" he asked. "No", I said. "Why?" I said. "It disappeared at some point during the evening, and me and my mum and sister can't work out who took it" he said.

Now, 44 years after the event, I confess that in a moment of madness, dissappointed there were no girls at the party, and disappointed that I wasn't even a bit pissed when I left at nine o'clock, yes, I liberated the 500ml of vodka that I had brought to that party. I have fellt very guilty ever since and wish this heavy load be lifted from my increasingly frail shoulders.

Unburden your soul my child. Two Hail Mary's and a GOSBTS and you are forgiven.

 

[Luke93]

To be fair she cheated on you. She was taking the piss!

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Unburdern your soul my child. Two Hail Mary's and a GOSBTS and you are forgiven.

Thank you, O Heavenly father.

 

[jonnyrovers]

Golden thread. Hopefully this is the sort of high standard.we can expect as the social distancing starts up.

Golden

 

[Ooh it’s a corner]

I still listen to Val Doonican and Cliff Richard on a regular basis.

I get it if you know Cliff but didn’t Val die years ago?

 

[lawros left foot]

Following on from [MENTION=37928]Lawro[/MENTION]sleftfoot nautical confession ...

A Petty Officer pinky tiff had me running around making tea because I was the baby sailor on the squadron. one morning took said tea mug and wiped my knob all around the rim. I’d been on the piss the previous evening and hadn’t had a shower and so was minging. I then made said tea and enjoyed watching him drink it with his stupid smug grin.

I’m not asking for forgiveness because he was a **** of the highest order and in hindsight I should have pissed in it ...


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

This practise was known as ‘Dicking’ amongst the Naval chefing fraternity.
I have known several arrogant Officer prats who earned this rather dubious honour.

 

[lawros left foot]

We did exactly that at the Pink Coconut club, Brighton in the 80’s. In the dark, it looked exactly like Fosters, but a bit warmer.

How did anyone ever tell the difference?


I know, the piss tasted better.




Boom Boom!!