[Humour] “Computer says no”

[Berty23]

There must be loads of brilliant examples from the middle aged bods on here. How about this to get us started? Not strictly “computer says no” but very close.

My 11 year old daughter fell off her bike coming home from school and we are currently at hospital to get it looked at. We are FINALLY waiting for the X-ray results. Why do I say finally? Well…she went in for the X-ray and a few moments later the bloke popped his head out and said “it is right hand isn’t it?” To which I said “no left” to which he looked confused and said “your daughter said that but the doctor has told me right hand so I will do that one” I laughed as I thought he was joking. He wasn’t. I said “it is obviously the left hand because that is the one that is battered, cut and bruised” he said “I need to get this approved by the doctor”.

About 15 sodding minutes waiting for him to get the go ahead to X-ray the hand she can’t move rather than the one that is absolutely fine.

Outstanding example of missing common sense is this world.

There must be others from the wise folk on here!

 

[studio150]

Surely this is a case of the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing rather than computer says no.

 

[AlbionInUs]

I thought this would be a thread criticizing Mwepu…

 

[Green Cross Code Man]

A few years back when I lived in Liverpool, a local utility company dug the road up near my house and placed warning signs and barriers around the large hole. Hoodlums kept moving them and cars probably got them as well. After a few weeks I was tired of the abandoned hole and kept phoning the relevant department asking for them to do something about it. Always got the answer that they couldn't do it as they hadn't got the job in their computer. Eventually I ran out of patience and told them I would take a wheelbarrow of dirt and fill it in myself as that would be safer than leaving a large hole in the road.

Next day, the council was there, filling the hole in. [emoji2357]

 

[SimpKingpin]

I thought this would be a thread criticizing Mwepu…

Me too.

I was all fired up ready to defend him.

Interesting thread. Carry on.

 

[Gabbafella]

Last night at football, I had queued for some time waiting to squeeze in a quick pint and a bite to eat after a hurried rush from work.
When I got to the front, I could see they were running low on some things and looked like they were out of other things, this was the conversation that followed:

Me - "pint and a burger please"
Girl - "Plain burger or cheeseburger?"
Me - "Oh, you still have cheeseburgers?"
Girl - "No"

 

[hart's shirt]

About 15 sodding minutes waiting for him to get the go ahead to X-ray the hand she can’t move rather than the one that is absolutely fine.

So on one hand she's injured, but on the other hand she's fine?

 

[Norman Potting]

A few years back when I lived in Liverpool, a local utility company dug the road up near my house and placed warning signs and barriers around the large hole. Hoodlums kept moving them and cars probably got them as well. After a few weeks I was tired of the abandoned hole and kept phoning the relevant department asking for them to do something about it. Always got the answer that they couldn't do it as they hadn't got the job in their computer. Eventually I ran out of patience and told them I would take a wheelbarrow of dirt and fill it in myself as that would be safer than leaving a large hole in the road.

Next day, the council was there, filling the hole in. [emoji2357]

Good job they looked into it.

 

[KeegansHairPiece]

Last night at football, I had queued for some time waiting to squeeze in a quick pint and a bite to eat after a hurried rush from work.
When I got to the front, I could see they were running low on some things and looked like they were out of other things, this was the conversation that followed:

Me - "pint and a burger please"
Girl - "Plain burger or cheeseburger?"
Me - "Oh, you still have cheeseburgers?"
Girl - "No"

There is a brilliance to that I absolutely love, I hope she delivered it dead pan. I think I love her on this alone.

 

[pasty]

There must be loads of brilliant examples from the middle aged bods on here. How about this to get us started? Not strictly “computer says no” but very close.

My 11 year old daughter fell off her bike coming home from school and we are currently at hospital to get it looked at. We are FINALLY waiting for the X-ray results. Why do I say finally? Well…she went in for the X-ray and a few moments later the bloke popped his head out and said “it is right hand isn’t it?” To which I said “no left” to which he looked confused and said “your daughter said that but the doctor has told me right hand so I will do that one” I laughed as I thought he was joking. He wasn’t. I said “it is obviously the left hand because that is the one that is battered, cut and bruised” he said “I need to get this approved by the doctor”.

About 15 sodding minutes waiting for him to get the go ahead to X-ray the hand she can’t move rather than the one that is absolutely fine.

Outstanding example of missing common sense is this world.

There must be others from the wise folk on here!

Very similar A&E story.

A few years ago I did my ankle in playing 5-a-side and ended up in A&E. Despite my LEFT ankle being black and blue and about three times the size it should have been, the A&E nurse started putting tubi-grip over my RIGHT ankle, because that's what it said on my notes.

 

[sully]

Many years ago, a project I was working on was building a subway link from an existing building to the new building we were constructing.

Before we could start, a power main was diverted to one side of the road and we then built the subway under the other side.

About a year into the main construction, the electricity company sent a gang to investigate a fault. They decided they knew where the fault was and proceeded to dig up the road. They came across a concrete slab and continued to break through it. Into our subway.

 

[The Clamp]

Trying to login to a training portal using the same email I have had since 2005. The only email I have ever used with that account. They have no record of that email. There is literally nothing they seem to be able to do now that they don't recognise that email despite the fact I could have never registered with them without that email. It's Kafka-esque.

 

[Eric the meek]

A few years back, we were doing a road trip through the Swiss Alps, in a place called Morel. It was lunchtime, and we spotted a sandwich shop, so we parked up. As we walked up to the door, my wife read the sign in French, 'closed for lunch'.

 

[dadams2k11]

So on one hand she's injured, but on the other hand she's fine?

[emoji122][emoji122]

 

[Gabbafella]

There is a brilliance to that I absolutely love, I hope she delivered it dead pan. I think I love her on this alone.

She said "No" with a quizzical look on her face, like she had no idea what was wrong with the conversation.

 

[Berty23]

Very similar A&E story.

A few years ago I did my ankle in playing 5-a-side and ended up in A&E. Despite my LEFT ankle being black and blue and about three times the size it should have been, the A&E nurse started putting tubi-grip over my RIGHT ankle, because that's what it said on my notes.

It is amazing. I was genuinely shocked at what was going on. No break for my daughter though which is a relief.

 

[Boys 9d]

I remember seeing a photo of a road sign at a T junction in France. An arrow pointed one way and said (in French) "All directions". Another arrow pointed the opposite way and said (in French) "Other directions".

 

[Seagull27]

There must be loads of brilliant examples from the middle aged bods on here. How about this to get us started? Not strictly “computer says no” but very close.

My 11 year old daughter fell off her bike coming home from school and we are currently at hospital to get it looked at. We are FINALLY waiting for the X-ray results. Why do I say finally? Well…she went in for the X-ray and a few moments later the bloke popped his head out and said “it is right hand isn’t it?” To which I said “no left” to which he looked confused and said “your daughter said that but the doctor has told me right hand so I will do that one” I laughed as I thought he was joking. He wasn’t. I said “it is obviously the left hand because that is the one that is battered, cut and bruised” he said “I need to get this approved by the doctor”.

About 15 sodding minutes waiting for him to get the go ahead to X-ray the hand she can’t move rather than the one that is absolutely fine.

Outstanding example of missing common sense is this world.

There must be others from the wise folk on here!

As silly as it seems, the Radiographer would have been following protocol here and wouldn't be able to overrule what the doctor had asked for, so they were doing the right thing by going back to check.

I had surgery many years ago on my left knee, and despite having many consultations with the surgeon beforehand, 5 minutes before the operation he asked me which knee it was that needed surgery. Quite unsettling, and even more so when he proceeded to draw a big arrow on my leg to indicate which one it was - you'd hope they would know at this point!

However I later found out that they have to do this with every patient due to the very rare but terrifying occasion when someone has had the wrong limb operated on due to a mistake in the notes.

 

[Robinjakarta]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqYHb41OlSE

 

[Finch]

It is amazing. I was genuinely shocked at what was going on. No break for my daughter though which is a relief.

It's surprisingly common. There was a surgeon here who replaced the wrong hip on an elderly lady. The Minister of Health put a positive spin on it after they redid it saying "she got two hips for the price of one!". On the flip side people are notoriously shit at accurately remembering things. They will swear black and blue they had prior surgery to the joint in question only to backtrack when it's pointed out the scar is on the other side. Occasionally the Dr's do have a genuine reason to x-ray the opposite side the main complaint seems to be about, they may pick up something in clinical tests that doesn't seem to be causing immediate grief but warrants an x-ray.