Commuter love

[Elvis]

Ok! Here's what you do!

Buy a purse and put a photo in it of a woman next to a disabled child (the more horrendous the disability the better. trust me) When the commuter gets off at Croydon you to must disembark the train, sod work this is far more important and hopefully could result in you getting laid. As the commuter is getting to the exit at Croydon you shout (in a masculine voice) " excuse me! I think you've dropped your purse" must add here that whatever you do don't pant or show any signs of being out of breath, don't want to give the impression you have no stamina. She will then say " oh! actually it's not mine" if however she takes the purse then she a thieving cow and not worth the effort. Upon expressing that the purse is not hers you ask her to open it up to see if there is any ID. She does and finds the photo of the lady with the disabled child, a tear comes to her eye. you say " I must find out who the owner of this purse is, she seems like a sweet, lady whom is caring for a poor disabled child"

Exit the platform and back on the next train. The next time on the train she will want to find out if you were able to locate the owner. The rest of the story is all yours......

This has just got to work! Good Luck!

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Well, just as I'd psyched myself up for the journey armed with the varied NSC wisdom, to my horror she wasn't there! This morning however there was a return to form - she's reading "The Elegance of the Hedgehog" - looking divine, eating her miniature yogurt and generally playing with my emotions!

Wear one of these little beauts and it won't be long before she's eating YOUR miniature yogurt

 

[Billy the Fish]

Ok! Here's what you do!

Buy a purse and put a photo in it of a woman next to a disabled child (the more horrendous the disability the better. trust me) When the commuter gets off at Croydon you to must disembark the train, sod work this is far more important and hopefully could result in you getting laid. As the commuter is getting to the exit at Croydon you shout (in a masculine voice) " excuse me! I think you've dropped your purse" must add here that whatever you do don't pant or show any signs of being out of breath, don't want to give the impression you have no stamina. She will then say " oh! actually it's not mine" if however she takes the purse then she a thieving cow and not worth the effort. Upon expressing that the purse is not hers you ask her to open it up to see if there is any ID. She does and finds the photo of the lady with the disabled child, a tear comes to her eye. you say " I must find out who the owner of this purse is, she seems like a sweet, lady whom is caring for a poor disabled child"

Exit the platform and back on the next train. The next time on the train she will want to find out if you were able to locate the owner. The rest of the story is all yours......

This has just got to work! Good Luck!

At the first mention of a disabled child I had visions of another NSC shutdown and police action.....

......but that's actually a pretty good idea, probably the best plan on this thread so far

 

[Alfie22]

Update - have conducted some initial research and believe the name of my object of affection to be called "Sarah." Have a weeks leave now so will plan my next step, which to be honest, may well involve the use of the picture / plan Elvis suggested...for my sins...

 

[strings]

Get on facebook and find her.
You know where she works and her name, can't be too hard?

Facebook stalking is seriously creeepy. If you do this, make sure she never finds out.

The only way is a face-to-face approach.

 

[Danny-Boy]

Try and stand out from the crowd. Read something other than Metro.

An Albion programme??

 

[Danny-Boy]

Update - have conducted some initial research and believe the name of my object of affection to be called "Sarah." Have a weeks leave now so will plan my next step, which to be honest, may well involve the use of the picture / plan Elvis suggested...for my sins...

Give her a bunch of flowers...never fails.

 

[Danny-Boy]

Just get on the train earlier than her and leave a small card with a lock of your pubic hair inside and a question mark.

Birds LOVE intrigue.

Do they like curly-wurlies though? Certainly not stuck between their teeth..

 

[Danny-Boy]

It's twenty to five, so when you get out of work, neck a couple of double whiskies at the station, and if she is on the train, just come out with, 'Oi! Treacle! How about we get at it, lively?...'

Believe me, it NEVER fails

So how IS Treacle?