Comedy T/V one-liners

[Icy Gull]

Not a one liner but worth a mention anyway

Del One of my most favouritist meals is Duck à l'Orange, but I don't know how to say that in French.
Rodney It's canard.
Del You can say that again bruv

 

[Common as Mook]

Not strictly i grant you (nit picking twat!)

 

[SJ's Love Monkey]

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Chris Eubank being stitched up as guest host on Top Of The Pops:

"... and at number thikth it's Thuggs with Thethelia"

 

[Common as Mook]

Chris Eubank being stitched up as guest host on Top Of The Pops:

"... and at number thikth it's Thuggs with Thethelia"

Ha Ha!

a) Did that actually happen?

b) If it's a comedy sketch, what's it from?

 

[seagully]

Ha Ha!

a) Did that actually happen?

b) If it's a comedy sketch, what's it from?

I believe that actually happened!

 

[Icy Gull]

I don't know what weapons will be used in world war three, but in world war four people will use sticks and stones. (Albert Einstein)

 

[Jesus Gul]

What could be better than living above an off licence?

Living in an off licence!

Yes we must get more friendly with Mr Henderson

Mayall/Edmonson at their best

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Ha Ha!

a) Did that actually happen?

b) If it's a comedy sketch, what's it from?

Yup, it did happen. Most magical moment from TOTP since Dexy's Midnight Runners performed 'Jackie Wilson Said" to a giant backdrop of legendary Scottish darts player Jocky Wilson

 

[Common as Mook]

Yup, it did happen. Most magical moment from TOTP since Dexy's Midnight Runners performed 'Jackie Wilson Said" to a giant backdrop of legendary Scottish darts player Jocky Wilson

You're killing me!!!!

 

[Jam The Man]

From Porridge:

Fletch (referring to Pan's People) "There's one special one - beautiful Babs... I don't know what her name is..."

 

[Withnail]

So let me get this straight. That woman over there was trying to get to her balls which were in the knees of a black child whose father is a dolphin.

 

[Stat Brother]

Yet more porridge, but again not strickly a one-liner.

Dr - "Now Fletcher, can you fill up that specimen bottle". (pointing to the one on a table, a few feet away).

Fletch - "Wot from here"?.

 

[WATFORD zero]

And all because the Jug-eared bloke married a mentalist

Easy10 - NSC

 

[*Gullsworth*]

Trigger to Rodney

"alright Dave".................................just cracks me up.

 

[Dennis and Lois]

Are you Edmund, Duke of Edinburgh?
No, i'm a bowl of soup

 

[Lankyseagull]

Trigger to Rodney

"alright Dave".................................just cracks me up.

or

When talking about what Del and Raquel plan on calling their soon to be born child, Trigger says, "If it's a girl then they're gonna call it Sigourney, after an actress. If it's a boy, then they're gonna call it Rodney, after Dave!"

 

[rospants]

Fork Handles

yep, thats my fave as well

 

[Mr Burns]

So, so many great lines from Blackadder. Any could win the title of Best One-Liner.

JUst after Blackadders tried everything he can think of, to getting out of 'going over the top' in Blackadder 4 and failed , turns to Baldrick and says.......

" I think the phrase rhymes with clucking bell"

 

[Leekbrookgull]

The No Riff Raff line from Faulty Towers,Gourmet Evening.