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Coldplay album review - nastiest review ever?







hybrid_x

Banned
Jun 28, 2011
2,225
The last quote has a nice ring to it tho.

"There’s only one f***ing substance on this earth more colourless and full of f***ing nothing than Ghost Stories and that’s f***ing Gwyneth Paltrow’s urine!"
 


Braders

Abi Fletchers Gimpboy
Jul 15, 2003
29,224
Brighton, United Kingdom
Spot on mind given Coldplays previous albums..
 




skipper734

Registered ruffian
Aug 9, 2008
9,189
Curdridge
I don't think he likes it much.
 




Kumquat

New member
Mar 2, 2009
4,459
I read this the other day. I tried to like the review as I'm not keen on Coldpay but I just thought it was a humourless and childish.

Childish maybe but not humourless to me, although obviously that is a matter of taste.
 








Munkfish

Well-known member
May 1, 2006
12,090
Way to over the top, Pointless read after the first paragrapgh. Not very clever or insightful writing at all.
 


Uncle Spielberg

Well-known member
Jul 6, 2003
43,097
Lancing
It will still sell over 15 000 000 copies Worldwide and Chris Martin will wipe his arse on a copy of this review and have a little chuckle to himself.
 






Mowgli37

Enigmatic Asthmatic
Jan 13, 2013
6,371
Sheffield
"I would rather chew off my f***ing scrotum than ever listen again to this boneless f***ing melange of morose f***ing piss-shit! I would rather eat an entire f***ing yurt, washed down with f***ing beige paint recently shat out of an incontinent yak’s anus!"

I would love to see the childish prick try!
 


Uncle Spielberg

Well-known member
Jul 6, 2003
43,097
Lancing
All this Coldplay hate is very dull and boring now. They have made some brilliant songs that have enhanced many people's lives. Live and let live.
 






Buzzer

Languidly Clinical
Oct 1, 2006
26,121
I can't find it at the moment but there was a review of Noel Gallagher's debut album that was such a piss-taking, scathing review that I was surprised he didn't sue for defamation. It was in the same sort of ball-park as this review.

Re. the Coldplay review, yes - it's someone playing the very easy game of knocking Coldplay. They are what they are and a lot of music snobs hate them for it. I actually didn't mind the album compared to some of their more recent MOR stuff but I'm never going to be a Coldplay fan.
 


Nibble

New member
Jan 3, 2007
19,238
Very childish. The good news is people need not pay much attention to reviews anymore like they did in the days reviews were printed in magazines and people scratched around looking for anything written about an album they were looking forward to being released. Now one simply has to log on to the internet and listen to it before purchasing. I am not a fan of Coldplay but I am even less enamoured with critics who create nothing yet feel they are qualified to comment on someone else's output. Failed musicians who still want to have a part in the industry. Henry Rollins described critics as "ants at the picnic" and I couldn't agree more.
 


albionite

Well-known member
May 20, 2009
2,762
Coldplay are a weird one for me.

Find listerning to their albums boring, but a awesome band to see live.

Not heard their latest album but i doubt it's as bad as that review suggests.
 






Tooting Gull

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
11,033
It's not a 'review' though, is it? Just a load of expletive-filled 'Look at me, I'm so cool, I hate Coldplay' drivel that could have been written (using the word loosely) any time in the last 15 years.
 


Nibble

New member
Jan 3, 2007
19,238
I think the best review I ever read was many years ago when that novelty song was released by the comedian I forget the name of (he's still around, Tony Hawk or something), anyway the song was called "Stutter Rap". The review read as follows:

"Stutter Rap. Utter Crap."
 


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