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Christmas party stories









desprateseagull

New member
Jul 20, 2003
10,171
brighton, actually
I got chucked out of the Zap club once (only once!), for being a drunken lech, trying to hold on to other dancers on the podiums..

Admittadly, having special xmas stylee dyed hair made it quite easy for the bouncers to ID me.. DOH


Other set to's observed-

A bun fight (including management!) at an insurance firm xmas meal, in middle of the old ship hotel restaurant.. cue broken glasses, harsh words, handbags at noon..
i think the hotel ban on us all is still in place.. like we would dare going back..


two ladies arguing/throwing water at each other, spatting abouy the same bloke who had been seeing both at the same time.. though they didnt know til they met at the party..


sadly, have not seen any naked streaking, wet tshirt competitions, or snogging the boss.

I am open to offers. mind. camera ready!:wave:
 


Durlston

"You plonker, Rodney!"
Jul 15, 2009
10,017
Haywards Heath
I have this ahem friend who's company sent out the following welcoming note to the Xmas Bash. This after they charged 3 quid a ticket to get in. Bloody killjoys no wonder my friend decided not to go.

I am looking forward to the Christmas Party tonight and hope to see as many of you there as possible. In relation to this evening and to ensure everyone enjoys themselves, there are a few ground rules that need to be understood in advance of the party,

· Although xxx is providing a free bar, alcohol should be consumed in moderation, and water and soft drinks will also be available. Under health & safety legislation, you have a duty to take reasonable care not only of your own health & safety, but also that of others, who may be affected by what you do.

· You should not drink and drive. If you are not driving, please try and make arrangements in advance to get home, either by using the tube or a taxi. Check what time your last tube/train runs, and never use unlicensed mini cabs.

· Inappropriate behaviour will not be tolerated and will be considered a series disciplinary matter. This includes excessive drunkenness, the use of illegal drugs, unlawful or inappropriate discrimination or harassment, violence such as fighting or aggressive behaviour or the use of inappropriate language, whether this is towards a colleague or a member of the bar staff. Please be aware that Re:Sources will take any such misconduct very seriously, and will take any appropriate disciplinary action if it thinks this is necessary.

· Finally you are reminded that you are required to report for work the following day, unless you have arranged in advance to take this as a day’s annual leave. Any unauthorised absence on the day after the party will be treated as a disciplinary issue. Any sickness absence on this day is to be supported by a signed self-certificate confirming the reason for absence and that the illness is not alcohol related. A hangover is not an acceptable reason for sickness absence.

I hope to see as many of you as possible, thanks for your hard work this year and wish you an enjoyable evening.

Whilst i wouldn't recommend it-especially to women,they are usually half the price of normal cabs so i never feel ripped off.

Last one i got was outside the Quays in Holloway,north London back to Victoria at 3am for a tenner.Bloody mad Turkish bloke he was,jumping a few red lights.I was shitting myself!
 






ROSM

Well-known member
Dec 26, 2005
6,776
Just far enough away from LDC
My worst seems quite tame compared to these (well Lokki's to be precise):

We had a party allowance from work (£20) and all the managers put into the kitty based on seniority (so juniors put in £20, middles £40, seniors £60 and execs £100). All the clericals in effect got a freebie.

We had c£50 per head to spend, so we got the local wetherspoons to put on one of their 2 course xmas meals for £5 and spent the rest on alcohol.

There were two factions in the team and one lot were drinking tequila and the others were drinking aftershocks. In an effort to engender team harmony the managrs drank equally in both camps and tried to get the groups together. We started at 3pm and having mixed Guiness, Red wine, whiskey, tequila and aftershocks i was struggling so much so that by 10.00pm I'm asleep in a cubicle of a gents toilet in a bar just off tower hill. I got found by one of the team who was only interested in getting the kitty off me.

When I leave about an hour later I notice two blokes and two ladies enjoying very private entertainment in a darkened corner. Team spirit repaied then.

Got home about 2.30 having fell asleep at london bridge station platform and missing 2 trains but being woken by a young lady who wanted to know the way to Petts Wood.

next morning up early for the Rushden and Diamonds cup tie where zamore scored for the tenth game in a row. Not that I recall much of it.
 




The Spanish

Well-known member
Aug 12, 2008
6,478
P
Whilst i wouldn't recommend it-especially to women,they are usually half the price of normal cabs so i never feel ripped off.

Last one i got was outside the Quays in Holloway,north London back to Victoria at 3am for a tenner.Bloody mad Turkish bloke he was,jumping a few red lights.I was shitting myself!

why anyone gets snide minicabs when they can get the best cabs in the world for a few extra quid (or often no difference) is beyond me.
 




Gritt23

New member
Jul 7, 2003
14,902
Meopham, Kent.
missed the train home so ended up getting a cab to Gatwick as it was cheap to get there and I just assumed it'd be cheaper to get back to Brighton from there, which of course it wasn't .... until the trains started running at about 6am. And even then I managed to get on the wrong bit and ended up in Horsham.

Love it. Once the old beer compass starts to fail it all goes completely off the rails doesn't it. The moment I start thinking "I've got a better way of getting home ..." it's ALL about to go very badly wrong.
 


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