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Christmas party stories



Bluejuice

Lazy as a rug on Valium
Sep 2, 2004
8,270
The free state of Kemp Town
Damn right. It is the very time and place.

EXACTLY

As a teacher in a primary school doing it in the kids toilets during break time - THAT would not be the time or the place.

I am reminded of a time in my uni days when on a gorgeous hot sunny summers day myself and a group of similarly unwashed student types were lounging in Winchester's Cathedral Grounds among the trees and the hippies doing poi and the old folks holding hands all enjoying ourselves. A cheeky bifter went round and some old bill makes his way over to us. Making a casual effort to conceal the "doob" he told us the exact same thing as condescending temp party do-gooder: "this is not the time or the place". Feeling a little rebellious I stared at him, then up to the cloudless sky, then around at my group of stoned friends all sat in a circle and laughed. He scowled a little but then walked off.

OF COURSE it was the time and the place, we were STUDENTS, it was SUNNY and nice and we had NOTHING else to do. Short of an MS sufferer smoking it in an Amsterdam coffee shop I can't think of a better time and place.

What a stupid saying it is when used in the wrong context.

It's like a judge in a courtroom shouting "order, order" only for some lawyer to tell him now is "not the time or place" OR John, Paul, George and Ringo stood atop the Apple studios playing their groundbreaking timeless hits to adoring fans only to have some studio exec tell them it's inappropriate OR maybe even when the band on the sinking Titanic kept playing on through the tragedy (allegedly) and some quartermaster panicking to find a lifeboat telling them to give it a rest. IF NOT HERE AND NOW, WHEN?
 






I want some sniff.

You can have mine, I've got my work Crimbo do tonight but that cautionary tale from Bluejuice has made me realise that it will be neither the time nor the place for such tomfoolary this evening. God bless NSC, I've had a lucky escape.
 




That you have sir. Best leave it to everyone else

80 City traders on a xmas night party in Shoreditch? I hardly think they will be interested in any of that nonsense! No, I'm expecting a few civilised G&T's and perhaps an early night.
 






:laugh::laugh::laugh:

And just a small reminder that the BEST time to go on NSC is when post-drinking paranoia and hand-wringing sets in.

The office manager was pulled off me and thrown out by bouncers at 2am. It's enough to make anyone paranoid.
 






Billy the Fish

Technocrat
Oct 18, 2005
17,594
Haywards Heath
I rather feel I would not like to revisit this subject. HR, disciplines, invitration to join AA and accept a drink problem, nudity in the office, trashing of office furniture, an unsightly wrestle with security on the reception floor and then an attempt to enter 'Wothdean' a bungled trip to London to have more booze culminating in an overnight stay at Bishopsgate Police station, soiled trousers, a trip of shame home the next morning and an inevitable 'exit interview' from the employer.

Oh dear.

Tip for any bods attending work Christmas Parties?

Do not drink Stella by the gallon from 8am.

It will have consequences.

Isn't that just a normal thursday night out in Glasgow? You must've forgot where you were :jester:
 




Dave the OAP

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
46,762
at home
there was supposed to be about 50 off us from work haveing a do in a bar in Waterloo, so i spend £25 getting there and spend £40 on 5 drinks and some food, and only 12 turned up.

Got there at 6 o'clock and left at 8 ish..

Bloody waste of time and money.

:mad:
 






CheeseRolls

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jan 27, 2009
6,231
Shoreham Beach
I have this ahem friend who's company sent out the following welcoming note to the Xmas Bash. This after they charged 3 quid a ticket to get in. Bloody killjoys no wonder my friend decided not to go.

I am looking forward to the Christmas Party tonight and hope to see as many of you there as possible. In relation to this evening and to ensure everyone enjoys themselves, there are a few ground rules that need to be understood in advance of the party,

· Although xxx is providing a free bar, alcohol should be consumed in moderation, and water and soft drinks will also be available. Under health & safety legislation, you have a duty to take reasonable care not only of your own health & safety, but also that of others, who may be affected by what you do.

· You should not drink and drive. If you are not driving, please try and make arrangements in advance to get home, either by using the tube or a taxi. Check what time your last tube/train runs, and never use unlicensed mini cabs.

· Inappropriate behaviour will not be tolerated and will be considered a series disciplinary matter. This includes excessive drunkenness, the use of illegal drugs, unlawful or inappropriate discrimination or harassment, violence such as fighting or aggressive behaviour or the use of inappropriate language, whether this is towards a colleague or a member of the bar staff. Please be aware that Re:Sources will take any such misconduct very seriously, and will take any appropriate disciplinary action if it thinks this is necessary.

· Finally you are reminded that you are required to report for work the following day, unless you have arranged in advance to take this as a day’s annual leave. Any unauthorised absence on the day after the party will be treated as a disciplinary issue. Any sickness absence on this day is to be supported by a signed self-certificate confirming the reason for absence and that the illness is not alcohol related. A hangover is not an acceptable reason for sickness absence.

I hope to see as many of you as possible, thanks for your hard work this year and wish you an enjoyable evening.
 


Perry Milkins

Just a quiet guy.
Aug 10, 2007
6,307
Ardingly
there was supposed to be about 50 off us from work haveing a do in a bar in Waterloo, so i spend £25 getting there and spend £40 on 5 drinks and some food, and only 12 turned up.

Got there at 6 o'clock and left at 8 ish..

Bloody waste of time and money.

:mad:

But was I right with P13?
 














Dave the OAP

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
46,762
at home
· Inappropriate behaviour will not be tolerated and will be considered a series disciplinary matter.

day’s annual leave. .
[/I]

Now my English is not brilliant, however..... SERIES disciplinary matter......shouldn't that be SERIOUS disciplinary matter?

Secondly, is there the requirement for an apostrophy in days?
 




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