[Football] Chelsea fire their head groundsman & assistant

[zefarelly]

The pitch moss-t be in a right state.

 

[Coldeanseagull]

I heard they'd dug a big hole in the centre circle and filled it with water.
They meant well

 

[Gotsmanov]

I don't want to sow seeds of doubt, but I think this story has been planted.

Anyway, no doubt it'll grow and grow.

The next crop of young groundsmen will be more than adequate replacements, mind.

 

[zefarelly]

I heard they'd dug a big hole in the centre circle and filled it with water.
They meant well

Maybe they planned that? From their bunker.

 

[Dinner with Gotsmanov]

I am sure they will make a great pitch at their next job interview, field any awkward questions and will be lined up for the job…

 

[Moshe Gariani]

They were sacked for being bent and not even exceptional long service could fescue them.

 

[Barham's tash]

More likely to be that their pitch is an absolute cabbage patch.

Think the training ground has been responsible too

 

[redoubtable seagull]

Dismissed after 30 years of loyal service.
Poor bloke must be forlorn.

 

[A mex eyecan]

sent back to his own shed, from the shed

 

[Taybha]

Rumours are that Crystal Palace top lawnmower man Nigel Titmarsh is high on the replacement list.

 

[Algernon]

I heard they'd dug a big hole in the centre circle and filled it with water.
They meant well

The referee at their last game fell into it because he couldn't see that well.

 

[Winker]

I think they were found in the shed-end with some hoes.

 

[Paulie Gualtieri]

Gardening leave could well be misunderstood, don’t be surprised if they turn up today

 

[Mo Gosfield]

Rumours are that Crystal Palace top lawnmower man Nigel Titmarsh is high on the replacement list.

Moses Field is favourite, according to reports.

 

[Hamilton]

Oh well, if we do lose groundstaff to Chelsea then I'm sure any replacements we get in will, once again, prove themselves capable of doing a much better job.

Why better? As good will do.

You never know who is reading this and whose feelings you’ll hurt.

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

I heard they'd dug a big hole in the centre circle and filled it with water.
They meant well

Latest is the Met have been called in and are looking into that.