[Misc] CALLING ALL MEN!

[Bodian]

If any one of my mates called me up "for a chat", I would find it PROFOUNDLY weird. A phone call between blokes is merely a brief one to make arrangements when you can't be arsed to Whatsapp, NOT to sit there chewing the cud for 45 minutes. Otherwise, what would we talk about when we meet up ??

Women are just wired differently. They'll call each other up just to talk about absolutely f*ck-all. The doris can arrive home from a night out with her besties, and immediately get on the phone to have another endless chat with one of them straight after. I mean WTF ?

As a bloke, I don't want to speak to anyone on the phone. Texts/Whatsapps are perfectly adequate, and do not intrude on peoples time or attention. Its on both parties terms. If I see my phone light up with a call from a mate at 10pm, I instantly assume some kind of trauma has occurred that may involve him sleeping on my sofa.

Nobody needs that.

Back in the days when we only had phones (and letters of course) - even then a Friday afternoon phone call would at most be:

- Cricketers or Ship?
- - Cricks.
- 8pm.
- - OK

 

[KZNSeagull]

If any one of my mates called me up "for a chat", I would find it PROFOUNDLY weird. A phone call between blokes is merely a brief one to make arrangements when you can't be arsed to Whatsapp, NOT to sit there chewing the cud for 45 minutes. Otherwise, what would we talk about when we meet up ??

Women are just wired differently. They'll call each other up just to talk about absolutely f*ck-all. The doris can arrive home from a night out with her besties, and immediately get on the phone to have another endless chat with one of them straight after. I mean WTF ?

As a bloke, I don't want to speak to anyone on the phone. Texts/Whatsapps are perfectly adequate, and do not intrude on peoples time or attention. Its on both parties terms. If I see my phone light up with a call from a mate at 10pm, I instantly assume some kind of trauma has occurred that may involve him sleeping on my sofa.

Nobody needs that.

Quite. There is a reason that text messages were invented by a man.

 

[Easy 10]

Back in the days when we only had phones (and letters of course) - even then a Friday afternoon phone call would at most be:

- Cricketers or Ship?
- - Cricks.
- 8pm.
- - OK

Exactly how I have been, all my life.

I've had occasions when a mate has had troubles, and we've met up over a pint. I've been on the other side of that too. Would I ever do that over the phone with him ? Would I buffalo.

Blokes who chat with each other over the phone are weirdos.

 

[Easy 10]

Quite. There is a reason that text messages were invented by a man.

Very much so. I was slow to the mobile phone revolution back in the 90s, really wasn't fussed in the slightest about being able to make or receive calls on the go. Until I clocked that SMS text function - GAMECHANGER. Once I saw that, I was all over it like white on rice.

That, and Snake.

 

[nickjhs]

Seriously?

Yes, he is correct. I generally answer my phone, but if I don't want to talk to someone or be interrupted at a particular time it's my frigging privacy and you do not have the right to demand to interrupt it.

 

[Justice]

I just know I’m going to regret answering mine late afternoon Friday or anytime on a Saturday

The ones that promise the world to come out and then wince at the bill

Exactly how I have been, all my life.

I've had occasions when a mate has had troubles, and we've met up over a pint. I've been on the other side of that too. Would I ever do that over the phone with him ? Would I buffalo.

Blokes who chat with each other over the phone are weirdos.

Blokes that send essay length texts yet don’t call you are also weird fucks.

 

[Easy 10]

Blokes that send essay length texts yet don’t call you are also weird fucks.

I'd still prefer an essay to a phonecall tbh.

 

[KZNSeagull]

The ones that promise the world to come out and then wince at the bill

Blokes that send essay length texts yet don’t call you are also weird fucks.

Blokes don't send essays. If women typed all of their inane conversations, the text messaging storage system would fill up within a week. Mrs KZN and the MIL can have a conversation which starts with "do you want tea of coffee?", then talk utter nonsense for 10 minutes ultimately forgetting whether they are supposed to be making tea or coffee. They then usually forget to drink it as they are too busy rabbiting.

 

[Coldeanseagull]

Do you remember the days when you didn't phone people, because you didn't have change for the phone box? That's why door bells were so important

 

[Easy 10]

Do you remember the days when you didn't phone people, because you didn't have change for the phone box? That's why door bells were so important

The only time I used to use a phonebox was when I wanted to chat to some tart I was seeing, without my parents hearing (I didn't have a phone in my room). That, or for a piss.

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

Why do men especially, no matter how close/years of friendship or even family, never answer their phones? If I need to chat or talk briefly, ask a quick question etc it’s never an issue when I ring someone of the fairer sex. Women answer their phones. Reply to texts. “Girlfriends” are way WAY more realiable in that sense. But blokes, FFS, even if you’ve shared a lifetime of stuff together and are godfather to countless sprogs you diligently remember birthdays for…… No, you may as well call Samaritans as ring them for some advice or ask a question of.

So here’s a message: If you’re a BLOKE (!) try f***ing answering your phone when it goes!

Stop screening and calling back weeks later! Jesus, you lazy tech-phobic fuckers, get with the beat and engage in the moment - not after the funeral when the call’s irrelevant! We need to go back to non digital landlines when people answered no matter what. I’m astonished at the sheer number of people who don’t pick up but do chat - almost immediately - via What’s App, SMS, etc when pinging a message because they didn’t answer. What is ducking wrong with you?!!! Are you too busy wanking all the time? The sport channel THAT good?! Engage in the power of SPEECH! You know, verbal. Tongues. Retro style! Seems reserved for the over 70s only these days. Sake. Jesus, and breath…!

I don't like your (ring) tone ...

 

[Van Cleef]

I have one of these hats and sit very still for hours staring at the screen hoping someone or anyone will call.

 

[DavidinSouthampton]

I will answer if I have the number logged and I recognise it, or it’s a local landline.

otherwise, I will see if they leave a message and respond to that - normally fairly immediately. But if I then google the number it usually comes up as a nuisance caller, and I am not going to listen to a recorded message, or someone trying to sell me something I don’t want.

Mrs DiS texted me yesterday to put some white wine in the fridge when she was out. I didn’t because I didn’t pick the message up. I am not wedded to my phone as she is. A friend of hers was expounding the virtues of her Apple Watch to me a few months ago. “I can answer my phone and do emails on here!” Why would I want to do that was my immediate thought.

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

Herr Tubthumper can’t take your call at the moment but if you leave your name and number he’ll get right back to you.

 

[sparkie]

I hate the phone.

And I seriously keep having thoughts about ditching it entirely and being freeeeeee.

Probably need something to contact the emergency services I suppose.

 

[Triggaaar]

I always answer mine

 

[Paulie Gualtieri]

I’ve got a core smaller group of mates that I would answer the phone to regardless of time but quite happy with the digital interview of not being put on the spot for everyone else

 

[Frankie]

Most of my inane rabbiting on the phone is sorting out all the stuff my husband doesn't even realise exists,like pretty much everything to do with running a home, insurance,bills,ordering heating oil,doctors appointments,vets,Sun life over 50s have fun when your dead plan,holidays,I could go on but what's the point,they all do themselves apparently,to be fair he does answer the phone when it's the tackle shop or a football buddy so it's not like he doesn't know what the answer button does.

 

[BN9 BHA]

Blokes that send essay length texts yet don’t call you are also weird fucks.

I have one customer (female) that sends essay long texts, will always text halfway through the morning when I’m really busy. I really struggle with long texts and usually feel like typing TL/DR back, but she is an odd character and wouldn’t get what it means.

 

[portlock seagull]

Yes, he is correct. I generally answer my phone, but if I don't want to talk to someone or be interrupted at a particular time it's my frigging privacy and you do not have the right to demand to interrupt it.

Again, misunderstood. And taking far too seriously.