[Misc] Bullying

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Good to hear you would get laughed at by the school staff back in the 80’s if you complained about bullying. I was the lad that use to like my own company still do, I would often bunk school and go fishing unfortunately this lad who probably had issues of his own poked the bear a bit to much. I didn’t know I had it in me either tbh. Most of the time I’m the most relaxed person you could meet trouble is I don’t have a middle ground if some one upsets me or the family they are in my mind instantly the enemy and I really couldn’t care less if they got splattered by a bus, is that strange? Apparently I don’t have any empathy according to the Mrs she’s usually always right…annoyingly

I suspect that half the posters on NSC are 'on the spectrum'. Look into it. I did. On the prompting of my missus.

 

[BadFish]

There's definitely a few positives here mate.

The school's recognised the problem and taken the side of your daughter. Action has been immediate with a week's exclusion - it may seem brief, but this girl will have plenty of time to reflect on her choice of actions. And there's the opportunity for quick behaviour modification too with the course this weekend. Let's hope that it has the desired effect for all sides.

I could quite understand wanting to press an assault charge and contacting the School Board, but it may be worth having a couple of sleeps on it first before you decide either way.

As an educationalist who's worked in schools, I'd suggest following up today's meeting with a brief formal but friendly follow-up letter to the Principal thanking him for arranging the meeting and supporting your daughter. No need to comment about the other girl or sanctions here - take and stay on the high ground. The bruise could also be mentioned in this letter, ideally with appropriate photographic evidence. A request to schedule a brief follow-up private progress meeting a week or so after the other girl has returned to school would also be advisable to see whether the sanction has had some effect. If not, then proceeding to the next step with the School Board might the right thing. But I'd give the Principal and any involved staff (i.e. Pastoral Care, Form Group Tutor, etc.) the opportunity to act and intervene at this stage. The more adults in a direct position of care for your daughter that know about the bullying, the better. A collective staffroom responsibility for nipping bullying in the bud early on is usually best before antisocial behaviour becomes normalised.

Copying a local legal advisor into the letter to be held on file could give it some added gravitas at this stage without the need to escalate things further. It would also be of use in the future should there be any need to involve the School Board. In the meantime, this should provide ample motivation for the Principal and staff to stay fully engaged with your daughter's welfare.

Other than that, just document everything. You sound like you've got the love and ice-cream bit sorted already.

As an educator too I concur with this post. Give the school the chance to do their thing. If that doesn't work then look at other avenues.

 

[keaton]

I get that a week's inclusion doesn't sound a lot but that is possibly the most they can do without permanent exclusion. From working, broadly, in this field permanent exclusions are rare now and from your description, while the behaviour is obviously very bad, I don't think it would get close to the threshold.

 

[dazzer6666]

@Popeye glad you have confronted it and have had at least some action. I’m not going to go into detail here but we had similar issues with our eldest when she was around 15 and it led to much more significant problems that were horrific at the time and haven’t ever completely gone (14 years later). I wish we’d done as much as you have already at the time rather than leaving it a bit later. When a similar thing happened with our youngest we went to the school immediately and it stopped straight away.

Hope the bully has learned her lesson and lays off - at least if there’s the slightest sign of anything further you can jump on it straight away. I don’t know how the governance system works in the US but here I’d definitely raise it with the School Board - in the UK School Governers would want and expect to know about such serious instances and whilst the Principal probably has a duty to report them it’s more effective to do it directly so you’re sure.

 

[wellquickwoody]

Sad story @Popeye but you aren't alone and have not failed your daughter at all. You are doing the right things.

Warn the school you will sue them if they do not sort this.

Sue? Why the massive escalation so early? Give them the chance to sort the problem out before getting so over the top. And good luck with the legal process involved in taking on a public body.

It should also be remembered that although ‘proper’ bullying is utterly wrong and needs to be stopped, there is an element of a pecking order being established which is part of growing up.

 

[Motogull]

Sue? Why the massive escalation so early? Give them the chance to sort the problem out before getting so over the top. And good luck with the legal process involved in taking on a public body.

It should also be remembered that although ‘proper’ bullying is utterly wrong and needs to be stopped, there is an element of a pecking order being established which is part of growing up.

Which is why I said 'warn'. It is the school's problem, their reputation and they should be resourced to deal with it. A little pressure to ensure they don't slack is best for the OP's daughter. They are in the US, they know the score when it comes to litigation.

 

[Lenny Rider]

Echoing what many have said on here, I hope this is resolved quickly.

There's no playbook for being a parent (or step parent), but you are only ever as happy as your saddest child.

It must be a minefield out there in this day and age, and from experience from my time as a School Governor and various issues friends and family have encountered, the biggest load of bullshit is when any given school states 'they don't have a bullying issue', every school in the country does.

 

[TugWilson]

Long story short , i was adopted from one side of the family in Ireland to the side in England , the husband saw it as a duty to adopt me as apposed to leaving me to the system . The wife on the other hand had 3 kids of her own and made it clear she did not want me (as i later found out) . Anyway i was bullied in the family for years by one of her sons , older and larger than me , she happily sanctioned my daily routine of "punishment and humiliation" , one day i told my father and he went mad at the pair of them . Needless to say when he went to work i got it twice as bad .

When i went to school other kids soon picked up on my differences and i started getting bullied at school , with the belief i couldn`t say anything . When i got big enough i launched an all out no holds barred assault on anyone who even looked sideways at me , this lasted for a few years until i thankfully calmed down to an acceptable level . But the point here is that bullies who are allowed to go unchecked even for a second will destroy other peoples lives , to this day i have great difficulty in judging whether someone is being straight or taking the rise , it hasn`t gone away and has caused problems all because nobody acted . These air stealing parasites "Bullies" must be dealt with as soon as a problem is found .

I have two grown up daughters now and we did have a couple of "situations" at their school that needed sorting out , but thankfully their Headmaster was excellent and the problems never got the chance to get worse .

Good luck @Popeye , and thank heavens this young girl has you and your lady in her life .

 

[jamie (not that one)]

Don’t be brow-beaten into accepting the hip phrase “building resilience”. For us it was used by a school into accepting that the concerted campaign of bullying and death threats was kind of okay, a toughening up to life’s realities. It has its place, within reason.

Struggling to think of once in my adult life where I've received death threats from a colleague or someone I have to see regularly, so not sure what the school's angle is there. Should the school not be promoting the theory that actions have consequences?

 

[jamie (not that one)]

Long story short , i was adopted from one side of the family in Ireland to the side in England , the husband saw it as a duty to adopt me as apposed to leaving me to the system . The wife on the other hand had 3 kids of her own and made it clear she did not want me (as i later found out) . Anyway i was bullied in the family for years by one of her sons , older and larger than me , she happily sanctioned my daily routine of "punishment and humiliation" , one day i told my father and he went mad at the pair of them . Needless to say when he went to work i got it twice as bad .

When i went to school other kids soon picked up on my differences and i started getting bullied at school , with the belief i couldn`t say anything . When i got big enough i launched an all out no holds barred assault on anyone who even looked sideways at me , this lasted for a few years until i thankfully calmed down to an acceptable level . But the point here is that bullies who are allowed to go unchecked even for a second will destroy other peoples lives , to this day i have great difficulty in judging whether someone is being straight or taking the rise , it hasn`t gone away and has caused problems all because nobody acted . These air stealing parasites "Bullies" must be dealt with as soon as a problem is found .

I have two grown up daughters now and we did have a couple of "situations" at their school that needed sorting out , but thankfully their Headmaster was excellent and the problems never got the chance to get worse .

Good luck @Popeye , and thank heavens this young girl has you and your lady in her life .

Jesus, that is rough. Glad you made it out of the other side sane because that kind of abuse would send many off the rails.

 

[Popeye]

Again, thanks for all the replies friends. After we got back from getting ice cream last night, we sat down and watched Twilight(Most annoying movie ever haha but did it for her) and we talked to her a bit about the whole situation saying that if anything like this happened again, to please tell us right away. She promised she would. Helped her also that a couple of her friends called her and made her laugh to take her mind off of it.

She will be ok we think as she has us, good friends, and a solid support system. Won't be an automatic thing of course for her to get over it, but we feel confident if we keep up with what we have been doing, and taking into account some of yall's suggestions here, everything will be ok.

She is the center of our Universe, so to see her in any kind of distress is hard, but we will get through it together.

Went to school this morning in better spirits than we thought she might, and we feel good about it continuing.

 

[Reddleman]

Bullies hunt out the victim they perceive to be weak. When it was my turn for the school bully to pick on after a few days I smashed him in the face with a tennis racket quite unexpectedly for him during a history lesson, I was quite surprised when he started blabbing like a baby.
It was the end of the matter no one came near me again. It starts with the verbal and quickly escalates to violence and has to be dealt with a language they understand.

It’s a horrible experience I feel for your girl but I think there comes a time in life when you have to be brave and face the fear how ever hard it may be otherwise you could be pushed around by others for the rest of your life.

Sorry but I couldn’t disagree with this more particularly for school age kids. The minute you physically retaliate you lose the upper hand, you lose the support and sympathy of the school and teachers and it becomes a tit for tat where both kids are deemed as bad as each other. This them means either the bullying can continue with less interest or focus from the school to resolve or any future incidents are deemed partly their fault as they have got history.

I’ve been through it with my son and with respect this advice is outdated and really won’t help kids with todays approach to teaching.

 

[AlbionBro]

There is nothing like sitting a bully on his bottom. I always had the biggest lad in our class, (when l was about twelve) punching me or threatening to punch me in the guts as he walked past. This was pre-rocky, I was quite short and fit.
I made a punch bag and hung it in my father's double garage and worked it every day after school.
I was quick and I knew one day this lad would feel my fists, and he did and promptly wobbled backward to fall over from a single punch and landed on the tarmac playground firmly. I was suddenly the school hero for seating this individual.
He never came near me again in a threatening manner, but he did try to make friends, this was ever going to happen from my perspective.
Never saw him for 40 years and then went eye to eye with him, let's just say he kept his distance.

I hope she can sort it out in house, but I also understand not everyone will do that. Good luck

 

[TugWilson]

Jesus, that is rough. Glad you made it out of the other side sane because that kind of abuse would send many off the rails.

I went back to the thread 2 minutes after posting to cancel it , but it had been (liked) so i left it up . I was so angry at the OPs dilemma , it is hell when you think your kid is being bullied , and it is always by a coward and always hard to navigate without making it worse. I thought my experience might shed a little light on what can happen without other peoples knowledge . I have long since lost any worries over talking about these things , but will if there is the tiniest chance someone might take something from each of our posts and be better off in the end , then no problem .

By the way it did send me off the rails for many years , still bat shit crazy , scared of my own shadow all the while trying to fight the world , Thank you for the concern much appreciated . Hope @Popeye gets resolution .

 

[Poojah]

Here’s a personal story for you, not one that I’ve ever felt particularly comfortable in sharing, but it may be relevant and in some way useful. Big, deep breath…

Everything began shortly after I had left primary school and moved to an absolute melting pot of a secondary school in terms of backgrounds. Some kids came from wealthyish backgrounds (by the limited standards of North East Lincs), others from deprived, troubled homes. I was somewhere in the middle of those two extremes.

It occurred to me quite early on that this place was a lot ‘edgier’ than Primary School, and in an attempt to make myself look a bit edgy I did something stupid.

I agreed to buy some weed from a friend of a friend, a kid I knew next to nothing about, other than he was pretty hard. I knew that because there was a kind of weird social hierarchy at the time, which was defined by how many ‘tags’ you had on your shoes. You see, the popular brand of smart shoes at the time was Kickers, which came with these little leather tags on the laces in all sorts of different colours. The harder you were deemed to be, the more kids you could insist gave you their tag. This lad had them hanging off both shoes, his bag, his coat, f***ing everywhere. You didn’t mess.

Anyway, for context, I was 11 or 12 at this point, and I had never so much as smoked a cigarette in my life. I was pretty ‘green’, as most pre-teens are, so buying drugs of any kind was a bit of an escalation in my behaviour. In truth, I was just trying to fit in.

So, my mate (who smoked and at least knew how to skin up) and I shared a tiny, one-skin joint after school, and I, with my eyes watering and lungs burning, suggested it was great and we should do it again. I was lying, but I had to fit in.

I bought some more and smoked a couple more joints over the course of the next few weeks. I quickly realised that all it really did was make me feel dizzy and sick, and so I thought I’d simply knock it on the head. Only, as it turned out, it wouldn’t be so simple.

When this kid with all the tags came looking for my next instalment, I told him I didn’t want any more. But I couldn’t just stop, not because he says so, but because his dealer will break his legs. I agreed to give him that week’s dinner money, the old trope, and so began an unwanted routine of handing over two or three quid a day to the lad, every day.

I didn’t have lunch at school for over a year. If the kid wasn’t there for any reason, his mates would come looking for me instead. I’d be f***ing starving. I remember one afternoon, getting home from school and asking my mum if I could have a bag of crisps and a mars bar as my stomach was basically eating itself. She told me to sod off; if she could wait until tea time then so could I, as she’d not even had time for lunch that day. She had no idea. And so, to the OP, don’t feel guilty that you didn’t spot the signs. Kids will hide anything if they have to.

And I had to. I had convinced myself that I was in the wrong. Basically, I was spending my school dinner money on drugs, and that sounds bad when you’re 12 years old. Only, by the end, I wasn’t even doing that really. I began getting given little baggies full of pills that I knew full well were just over the counter medicines, but I was so terrified of the beating I would get if I refused to pay up or said anything, I just went along with it. Looking back, it’s ridiculous either of us bothered to keep up the charade. I would have given him the money anyway.

Eventually, and I’m talking well over a year later, I finally summoned the courage to tell the kid I’d had enough of his shit, and I wouldn’t be giving him anymore of my money. “Fine”, he said, “I just hope you like hospital food, because you’ll be eating it for a while”. It’s a shit and somewhat cheesy line, really, but that’s exactly what he said; it stayed with me as I was f***ing terrified. I believed every word of it.

So, that day, I ate my first school dinner in a very long time. Chilli con carne and treacle sponge. Ironically, I wasn’t hungry and could barely eat any of it. A heightened sense of fear could do wonders for the obese.

Sure as shit, as I’m walking out of the school gates that afternoon, towards the bus stop, I realise I’m being followed. He’s there, with three or four of his mates. It wasn’t hard to work out what was going on - I was about to get my f***ing head kicked in. I was alone, outnumbered and wouldn’t have fancied myself against any of these lads 1 on 1, let alone 4 on 1. I needed a miracle.

And, sure as shit once more, there it is. The miracle I needed. It’s my f***ing dad. In his car. What the f***’s he doing here? He had never in my life picked me up for school. He should have been at work. It didn’t make sense.

Turns out he’d taken the time off work to queue for tickets for the 1998 Auto Windscreens Shield final; Grimsby v Bournemouth. It was the first time Grimsby had ever been to Wembley, and he’d queued for 8 hours to get the tickets. Since my school was more or less on the way home, he’d decided to pick me up as a surprise. As far as I was concerned at the time, he’d just saved my life. I still look back on it as a seminal moment in my life.

But then there was still tomorrow. And so I realised the game was up. If I didn’t say something, I was going to my head kicked in sooner or later. And so, I told my mum and dad everything. Well, not everything, I didn’t tell them about the drugs thing (and never have), but everything they needed to know.

They followed a similar plan to the OP. They kept me off school the next day and went to see the headmaster. The school would need to investigate, but while they did I was allowed to arrive late, and leave early, in order to avoid the kid and his mates.

Eventually, after discovering that I was one of about 20 kids going through something similar, he was permanently excluded. I only ever saw him twice in my life after that, neither of which amounted to anything other than him calling me a “bastard”. I won’t be seeing him again, either, as he died aged 21, when the heroin he was shooting up had a disagreement with his asthma.

But the moral of the story is deeper than is immediately obvious. My situation improved immeasurably the moment I opened up to my parents and they took it to the school. To that end, OP, you and your lady’s daughter have already taken arguably the biggest step.

But also, it’s worth noting that whilst what happened was undoubtably a very sad episode of my childhood, my story ultimately had a happy enough ending. The same cannot be said for my antagonist, who has been dead for over a decade and a half now. What I later discovered was just how tragic, turbulent and violent his own childhood had been, almost from day one.

To that end, what I went through made me stronger, and I’m old and wise enough now to see his side of the story; it’s made me consider who the real victim truly was.

Your concern right now will, quite rightly, be the welfare of the young girl who is being bullied. But I would urge you to press the school to not only address the situation through punitive measures, but also fully investigate what’s going on behind the scenes. Only then, can the root cause of the situation be properly addressed. It certainly doesn’t read to me like the parents in question are giving their own child the kind of tough love she needs.

Sorry for the long, and at times bleak post. All in all, keep pushing the school until you are happy with the situation, and know that is in the best of interest of everyone in the long run. Trust your instincts. All the best to you and your family.

 

[SK1NT]

I was thankfully never bullied but i did stand up for a couple of kids in my year at school, once ended up with me getting surrounded by the bullies after school. Our dinner lady saw me surrounded by this gang of bullies and just walked passed me. She did see. Lucky they let me go. I then started going to Cheetahs gym to box and i never ever had an issue again mainly because the confidence of knowing i could fight alone was enough to not have to fight.

Bullies are scum but the majority of the time have issues themselves. It is so hard having a child bullied. My little one is only 6 and he started crying after school last week because 4 boys are hurting and bullying him. We told the teacher who is trying to help (she is lovely) but my boy said it is still happening and that he hates the teachers for not helping him. I am not sure how old your daughter is @Popeye but i am finding it hard to know what to do. The bullying isn't leaving bruises etc but it is making him not want to go to school.

@Popeye you have acted in the perfect way if you ask me. Before escalating it again i would see how this bully is when she comes back from being expelled. If she so much looks at your daughter in the wrong way, escalate it. Unfortunately this bully will probably just pick on someone else.

I love my kids and we want them to be bright, and do well etc... but what we really only care about is that they aren't bullied and enjoy school. My eldest being 6 i feel we have all this ahead of us.

 

[SK1NT]

Here’s a personal story for you, not one that I’ve ever felt particularly comfortable in sharing, but it may be relevant and in some way useful. Big, deep breath…

Everything began shortly after I had left primary school and moved to an absolute melting pot of a secondary school in terms of backgrounds. Some kids came from wealthyish backgrounds (by the limited standards of North East Lincs), others from deprived, troubled homes. I was somewhere in the middle of those two extremes.

It occurred to me quite early on that this place was a lot ‘edgier’ than Primary School, and in an attempt to make myself look a bit edgy I did something stupid.

I agreed to buy some weed from a friend of a friend, a kid I knew next to nothing about, other than he was pretty hard. I knew that because there was a kind of weird social hierarchy at the time, which was defined by how many ‘tags’ you had on your shoes. You see, the popular brand of smart shoes at the time was Kickers, which came with these little leather tags on the laces in all sorts of different colours. The harder you were deemed to be, the more kids you could insist gave you their tag. This lad had them hanging off both shoes, his bag, his coat, f***ing everywhere. You didn’t mess.

Anyway, for context, I was 11 or 12 at this point, and I had never so much as smoked a cigarette in my life. I was pretty ‘green’, as most pre-teens are, so buying drugs of any kind was a bit of an escalation in my behaviour. In truth, I was just trying to fit in.

So, my mate (who smoked and at least knew how to skin up) and I shared a tiny, one-skin joint after school, and I, with my eyes watering and lungs burning, suggested it was great and we should do it again. I was lying, but I had to fit in.

I bought some more and smoked a couple more joints over the course of the next few weeks. I quickly realised that all it really did was make me feel dizzy and sick, and so I thought I’d simply knock it on the head. Only, as it turned out, it wouldn’t be so simple.

When this kid with all the tags came looking for my next instalment, I told him I didn’t want any more. But I couldn’t just stop, not because he says so, but because his dealer will break his legs. I agreed to give him that week’s dinner money, the old trope, and so began an unwanted routine of handing over two or three quid a day to the lad, every day.

I didn’t have lunch at school for over a year. If the kid wasn’t there for any reason, his mates would come looking for me instead. I’d be f***ing starving. I remember one afternoon, getting home from school and asking my mum if I could have a bag of crisps and a mars bar as my stomach was basically eating itself. She told me to sod off; if she could wait until tea time then so could I, as she’d not even had time for lunch that day. She had no idea. And so, to the OP, don’t feel guilty that you didn’t spot the signs. Kids will hide anything if they have to.

And I had to. I had convinced myself that I was in the wrong. Basically, I was spending my school dinner money on drugs, and that sounds bad when you’re 12 years old. Only, by the end, I wasn’t even doing that really. I began getting given little baggies full of pills that I knew full well were just over the counter medicines, but I was so terrified of the beating I would get if I refused to pay up or said anything, I just went along with it. Looking back, it’s ridiculous either of us bothered to keep up the charade. I would have given him the money anyway.

Eventually, and I’m talking well over a year later, I finally summoned the courage to tell the kid I’d had enough of his shit, and I wouldn’t be giving him anymore of my money. “Fine”, he said, “I just hope you like hospital food, because you’ll be eating it for a while”. It’s a shit and somewhat cheesy line, really, but that’s exactly what he said; it stayed with me as I was f***ing terrified. I believed every word of it.

So, that day, I ate my first school dinner in a very long time. Chilli con carne and treacle sponge. Ironically, I wasn’t hungry and could barely eat any of it. A heightened sense of fear could do wonders for the obese.

Sure as shit, as I’m walking out of the school gates that afternoon, towards the bus stop, I realise I’m being followed. He’s there, with three or four of his mates. It wasn’t hard to work out what was going on - I was about to get my f***ing head kicked in. I was alone, outnumbered and wouldn’t have fancied myself against any of these lads 1 on 1, let alone 4 on 1. I needed a miracle.

And, sure as shit once more, there it is. The miracle I needed. It’s my f***ing dad. In his car. What the f***’s he doing here? He had never in my life picked me up for school. He should have been at work. It didn’t make sense.

Turns out he’d taken the time off work to queue for tickets for the 1998 Auto Windscreens Shield final; Grimsby v Bournemouth. It was the first time Grimsby had ever been to Wembley, and he’d queued for 8 hours to get the tickets. Since my school was more or less on the way home, he’d decided to pick me up as a surprise. As far as I was concerned at the time, he’d just saved my life. I still look back on it as a seminal moment in my life.

But then there was still tomorrow. And so I realised the game was up. If I didn’t say something, I was going to my head kicked in sooner or later. And so, I told my mum and dad everything. Well, not everything, I didn’t tell them about the drugs thing (and never have), but everything they needed to know.

They followed a similar plan to the OP. They kept me off school the next day and went to see the headmaster. The school would need to investigate, but while they did I was allowed to arrive late, and leave early, in order to avoid the kid and his mates.

Eventually, after discovering that I was one of about 20 kids going through something similar, he was permanently excluded. I only ever saw him twice in my life after that, neither of which amounted to anything other than him calling me a “bastard”. I won’t be seeing him again, either, as he died aged 21, when the heroin he was shooting up had a disagreement with his asthma.

But the moral of the story is deeper than is immediately obvious. My situation improved immeasurably the moment I opened up to my parents and they took it to the school. To that end, OP, you and your lady’s daughter have already taken arguably the biggest step.

But also, it’s worth noting that whilst what happened was undoubtably a very sad episode of my childhood, my story ultimately had a happy enough ending. The same cannot be said for my antagonist, who has been dead for over a decade and a half now. What I later discovered was just how tragic, turbulent and violent his own childhood had been, almost from day one.

To that end, what I went through made me stronger, and I’m old and wise enough now to see his side of the story; it’s made me consider who the real victim truly was.

Your concern right now will, quite rightly, be the welfare of the young girl who is being bullied. But I would urge you to press the school to not only address the situation through punitive measures, but also fully investigate what’s going on behind the scenes. Only then, can the root cause of the situation be properly addressed. It certainly doesn’t read to me like the parents in question are giving their own child the kind of tough love she needs.

Sorry for the long, and at times bleak post. All in all, keep pushing the school until you are happy with the situation, and know that is in the best of interest of everyone in the long run. Trust your instincts. All the best to you and your family.

What a fantastic post. Very emotional. Glad it all worked out for you in the end.

This reminded me of a guy who was a bit of a bully at my high school. He wasn't a nasty guy but similar to your bully, this guy was adopted, had a rough home life etc. We use to regularly run into each other after school. I didn't mind having fights, i always got more nervous when other kids would all gather round, make a circle and watch. Kids can be such little shits. I found out that on the night of the England Holland Euro 96 4-1 victory he was out drinking and was dared to lick the railway track and unfortunately died instantly (aged 16). I think about him a lot actually. I feel sorry for him as he was just a troubled kid. I actually look back to our fights with a sentimental smile.

I could never speak to my parents about anything and they were young parents. I will not be like my parents i will always want to know everything about my kids.

 

[Weststander]

Again, thanks for all the replies friends. After we got back from getting ice cream last night, we sat down and watched Twilight(Most annoying movie ever haha but did it for her) and we talked to her a bit about the whole situation saying that if anything like this happened again, to please tell us right away. She promised she would. Helped her also that a couple of her friends called her and made her laugh to take her mind off of it.

She will be ok we think as she has us, good friends, and a solid support system. Won't be an automatic thing of course for her to get over it, but we feel confident if we keep up with what we have been doing, and taking into account some of yall's suggestions here, everything will be ok.

She is the center of our Universe, so to see her in any kind of distress is hard, but we will get through it together.

Went to school this morning in better spirits than we thought she might, and we feel good about it continuing.

You’re doing a great job. Stay her friend and confidante, it can be a life saver. My daughter says she wouldn’t have stayed on this earth if I hadn’t been there for her 24-7 during the dark times. I’m an advocate of taking action, that there are solutions, and being a true friend to my (not so young now) kids.

 

[Questions]

After Tompkinsons Schooldays (Ripping Yarns) I was officially voted in as school bully in 1976 at my school. I felt privileged. It was only to bully new kids though.

 

[Weststander]

Kwarteng, the local MP …. what a shit response from him.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-surrey-64599097

I’ve seen this before from local MP’s, rushing to defend a school. They may perform well academically and talk the talk on bullying, but imho they’re only as good as the genuine on the ground crushing of bullying.

Kids are scarred for life by this stuff.

Interesting that some adults were allegedly involved too. I hope the police/CPS do their best.