Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊

Brighton and Hove Albion Jokes.



Insel affe

HellBilly
Feb 23, 2009
24,344
Brighton factually.....
Very amusing if you are five.

http://fazemo.com/jokesabout_soccerteamemea_brightonandhovealbion.php

Joke #20
Q: How do you stop a Brighton and Hove Albion fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in a Real Madrid jersey!

Joke #19
Q: What is the shortest book in the world called?
A: The Book of Intelligent Brighton and Hove Fans

Joke #18
Q: Why did god invent alcohol?
A: So Brighton and Hove Albion fans can get laid too.

Joke #17
Q: What is the difference between a Brighton and Hove fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Joke #16
Q: What does an Brighton and Hove Albion fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They are both empty from the neck up.

Joke #15
Q: What does a Brighton and Hove Albion fan do when his team has won the Championship?
A: He turns off the PlayStation.

Joke #14
Q: How do you keep a Brighton and Hove fan from masterbating?
A: You paint the Manchester United logo on his dick and he won't beat it for years!

Joke #13
Q: If you see a Brighton and Hove fan on a bike, why should you not swerve to hit him? ?
A: It could be your bike.

Joke #12
Q: what is the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Brighton and Hove Albion fan?
A: Skid marks in front of the dog.

Joke #11
Q: What do you call a Brighton and Hove fan with no arms and legs?
A: Trustworthy.

Joke #10
Q: How do you casterate a Brighton and Hove fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

Joke #9
Q: What's the difference between a fat chick and a Brighton and Hove striker?
A: Even a fat chick scores every once in a while!

Joke #8
Q: How do you stop an Brighton and Hove Albion fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in a Real Madrid jersey!

Joke #7
Q: What is the new Brighton and Hove Albion official cologne creating a lot of buzz?
A: You wear it and the other guy scores.

Joke #6
Q: Why do Brighton and Hove players always look so happy?
A: Because when midgets run, the grass tickles their balls!

Joke #5
Q: What do you call an Brighton and Hove Albion fan with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

Joke #4
Q: What do you call 5 Brighton and Hove Albion fans standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.

Joke #3
Q: What do Brighton and Hove Albion fans use as birth control?
A: Their personalities.

Joke #2
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask a Brighton and Hove Albion fan!

Joke #1 Q: what is the difference between a Brighton and Hove Albion fan and a vibrator?
A: A Brighton and Hove fan is a real dick

Great website.... Not ???
 






These jokes have presumably been posted on North Stand Chat in the expectation that we might be amused by them. Is this, in fact, the case?

I'm somewhat baffled by the similarity between Joke #8 and Joke #20. Are we being short changed?
 




Paul Reids Sock

Well-known member
Nov 3, 2004
4,458
Paul Reids boot
How on earth have the missed the oldest and crappest?

Why can't Brighton players walk dogs?

Because they can't hold on to a lead


It must be one of the worst find and replace jobs I have seen for a while
 






Questions

Habitual User
Oct 18, 2006
25,512
Worthing
Why did the Brighton fan cross the road ?
 


Albumen

Don't wait for me!
Jan 19, 2010
11,495
Brighton - In your face
Joke #14
Q: How do you keep a Brighton and Hove fan from masterbating?
A: You paint the Manchester United logo on his dick and he won't beat it for years!

Seeing as we've not been in the top tier for 30 years this is obviously a generator where you put a team name in and it provides you with the 20 utterly shite jokes with that name filled. Er . . thanks for posting.
 




Stato

Well-known member
Dec 21, 2011
7,374
Why did the Brighton fan cross the road ?

To look for the FA Cup money; or

To remind Palace that all of their achievements are worthless as they were founded on the back of the latest administration that ripped of the St Johns; or

To stand in solidarity with the chicken fans who are being royally stitched up by their chairman and who need the support of all stroppy Southerners whose team hasn't got a game that weekend; or....
 


lawros left foot

Glory hunting since 1969
NSC Patron
Jun 11, 2011
14,082
Worthing
These 'jokes' have all been collected and published in a book for sale on Amazon for the bargain price of £9.99, by an author called Mark Geoffrey Young.
This book is also available for many different clubs, including Palace, Spurs, and Chelsea, they are all the same jokes, just the name of the club changes.
I don't imagine he sells many, but, it is probably better than working for a living.
 






Insel affe

HellBilly
Feb 23, 2009
24,344
Brighton factually.....
i hope you didn't type all them mate...ffs.

Nope copy and paste, I just could not see any originality in them whatsoever and would guess they repeat the same jokes for every club.

Amazing what people do in their spare time....

Me included
 




BlueWhite

Member
Dec 28, 2003
165
To stand in solidarity with the chicken fans who are being royally stitched up by their chairman and who need the support of all stroppy Southerners whose team hasn't got a game that weekend; or....[/QUOTE]

And the winner is...
 


brakespear

Doctor Worm
Feb 24, 2009
12,326
Sleeping on the roof
How on earth have the missed the oldest and crappest?

Why can't Brighton players walk dogs?

Because they can't hold on to a lead


It must be one of the worst find and replace jobs I have seen for a while
Absolutely this - just a bunch of relabelled crap that wouldn't be funny no matter what club they were about, even Palace or Leeds :)
 


Albion and Premier League latest from Sky Sports


Top
Link Here