In some ways where we have arrived at is where we should have started, respecting the needs of both the EU and the UK and trying to work out a challenging yet neccessary compromise. Without wishing to seem disrespectful towards the EU, their approach has up until now seemed to me to be more interested in making Brexit seem as difficult as possible, for political reasons, rather than genuinely being interested in getting it done in as healthy a way as possible. Hopefully that is what has changed here, but we will have to see what we end up with at the end of this part of negotiations to find out what has changed.
I think you're wrong here. If where we have arrived is with a border in the Irish Sea (which seems the most likely 'deal' at the moment) - then this is precisely what the EU suggested to Theresa May at the outset after having seen her red lines. Remember, it was Theresa May who then went on and invented the backstop, not the EU. Now it seems as though we could be reverting to what the EU proposed.
So - there hasn't actually been any change in approach from the EU, it's the UK Government who seem to be finally realising that their demands were unfeasible, and are now falling into line with the EU.