[Help] Born Agains Advice

[Triggaaar]

Surely if your dad doesn't have long to go and he has dementia, you should cut him some slack and play along with it

I think you've misread the question. It's not the parent with dementia that is religious, but another family member.

 

[Triggaaar]

Am I being too touchy

It doesn't sound like it, no. If any of our loved ones had a negative health condition (be it a terminal illness or disability), and someone tried to push a religion on us that we don't agree with, there's a good chance that's going to be annoying. For example if someone told me that I should see a faith healer to fix a disability.

Instead of STFU, maybe just explain that you don't share the beliefs, and therefore their comments are actually upsetting you etc.

 

[Jackthelad]

Ask yourself why you are so angry when the name Jesus is mentioned to you. From a Christian persepctive It's often a common reaction that you're feeling- anger, fear, pain or even embarrassment. I'm a Christian and even I cringe sometimes when I hear a street preacher.

It's difficult to have any other feelings in a world of lies and deception to understand why your family would have faith in Jesus. It's a core faith of his, don't be guilty you feel like this, the world especially Britain teaches you to hate Christianity mock anyone who believes in supernatural or has a faith.
He might well be pushing his beliefs onto you in an aggressive manner which is not acceptable, but in his condition I would try and make his passing comfortable even when you feel like screaming at him.

 

[Triggaaar]

Ask yourself why you are so angry when the name Jesus is mentioned to you.

I don't think that's what's happening here. The OP has said that the family member has been in denial about a hopeless scenario - that gives me the feeling that they're saying 'a few prayers and maybe your father will get better' kinda stuff. That might be annoying to hear when you know it's nonsense. The OP also says the family member mentions salvation (presumably from sins). That's not something I'd want to hear from someone in similar circumstances.

 

[portlock seagull]

Ask yourself why you are so angry when the name Jesus is mentioned to you. From a Christian persepctive It's often a common reaction that you're feeling- anger, fear, pain or even embarrassment. I'm a Christian and even I cringe sometimes when I hear a street preacher.

It's difficult to have any other feelings in a world of lies and deception to understand why your family would have faith in Jesus. It's a core faith of his, don't be guilty you feel like this, the world especially Britain teaches you to hate Christianity mock anyone who believes in supernatural or has a faith.
He might well be pushing his beliefs onto you in an aggressive manner which is not acceptable, but in his condition I would try and make his passing comfortable even when you feel like screaming at him.

To be clear, my dad isn’t religious in anyway. It’s the family member who is. And it’s irritating when someone continues to have a slow lingering and in many ways a cruel death and someone’s babbling away on the side with religious stuff because they’re a born again and everything can be explained in that sense. Be a bit like me bringing football into the equation LOL! I guess when tired and emotional, someone doing that becomes an easy target and cops the lot so’s to speak or is in danger of because anger has to go somewhere and by not reading the room correctly my relation is putting herself at risk of a STFU. Which will then go down as me being the big bad wolf as no one’s got the self awareness to think I might not appreciate and it’s a stressful time. Nope, it’ll be chalked up as me being angry, rude, objectionable etc instead (Moi?!!

I’ll try to be less emotional and show restraint. Thank you once again everyone however, been cathartic if nothing else!

 

[Insel affe]

Ask yourself why you are so angry when the name Jesus is mentioned to you. From a Christian persepctive It's often a common reaction that you're feeling- anger, fear, pain or even embarrassment. I'm a Christian and even I cringe sometimes when I hear a street preacher.

It's difficult to have any other feelings in a world of lies and deception to understand why your family would have faith in Jesus. It's a core faith of his, don't be guilty you feel like this, the world especially Britain teaches you to hate Christianity mock anyone who believes in supernatural or has a faith.
He might well be pushing his beliefs onto you in an aggressive manner which is not acceptable, but in his condition I would try and make his passing comfortable even when you feel like screaming at him.

Trust a Christian to read between the lines and get it wrong

 

[Triggaaar]

To be clear, my dad isn’t religious in anyway. It’s the family member who is.

The advice for supporting people with dementia is to try and go with the beliefs that person had when they were healthy. If they had a religion, we should accept that, and not try and wash it away, and likewise if they were not religious, we should not push a religion on them.

I guess when tired and emotional, someone doing that becomes an easy target and cops the lot so’s to speak or is in danger of because anger has to go somewhere

I’ll try to be less emotional and show restraint.

Sounds like you're going to bottle up that anger. Have you ever watch 'Me, Myself and Irene'?

I'd just let them know it's upsetting you, hopefully that'd be enough.

 

[portlock seagull]

The advice for supporting people with dementia is to try and go with the beliefs that person had when they were healthy. If they had a religion, we should accept that, and not try and wash it away, and likewise if they were not religious, we should not push a religion on them.




Sounds like you're going to bottle up that anger. Have you ever watch 'Me, Myself and Irene'?

I'd just let them know it's upsetting you, hopefully that'd be enough.

Nope, but will look it up and watch it. Ta.

 

[Jackthelad]

To be clear, my dad isn’t religious in anyway. It’s the family member who is. And it’s irritating when someone continues to have a slow lingering and in many ways a cruel death and someone’s babbling away on the side with religious stuff because they’re a born again and everything can be explained in that sense. Be a bit like me bringing football into the equation LOL! I guess when tired and emotional, someone doing that becomes an easy target and cops the lot so’s to speak or is in danger of because anger has to go somewhere and by not reading the room correctly my relation is putting herself at risk of a STFU. Which will then go down as me being the big bad wolf as no one’s got the self awareness to think I might not appreciate and it’s a stressful time. Nope, it’ll be chalked up as me being angry, rude, objectionable etc instead (Moi?!!

I’ll try to be less emotional and show restraint. Thank you once again everyone however, been cathartic if nothing else!

Ok that's slightly different situation. Prayer for Christians is huge part of their faith so him praying is a core of his faith. But this Christian probably needs to be sat down with another Christian who can explain to him/her that there is a time and place for zeal and someone who is in such a confused state you really have to be careful how you deal with them. I would also take the family member aside and explain to them how you feel.

 

[Insel affe]

Ok that's slightly different situation. Prayer for Christians is huge part of their faith so him praying is a core of his faith. But this Christian probably needs to be sat down with another Christian who can explain to him/her that there is a time and place for zeal and someone who is in such a confused state you really have to be careful how you deal with them. I would also take the family member aside and explain to them how you feel.

Or

 

[Jackthelad]

Or
View attachment 157084

 

[Triggaaar]

Nope, but will look it up and watch it. Ta.

Me, myself and Irene is bloody hilarious. It's not PC.

 

[A mex eyecan]

sorry, may be being a bit thick here, but is it your Dad with the religion thing or another member of family?

 

[DavidinSouthampton]

In this difficult time for you, tell them, in no uncertain terms, what you think. In this day and age you'll find it's no good pussy footing about these nut jobs who are clinging to a pathetic belief to justify their lack of understanding of science

Not everybody who has some sort of faith is like that.
I've known plenty of scientists, including university lecturers, who are or were practising Christians.
And anyone with any sense would be empathetic and sensitive to what is going on around them - not charging in with all guns blazing.

 

[Knocky's Nose]

I'd just say to the family member that you respect their beliefs, but could they also respect yours and not talk about Jesus whilst you're there.

If they refuse, a swift kidney punch usually works.

 

[Fungus]

sorry, may be being a bit thick here, but is it your Dad with the religion thing or another member of family?

It’s not his father, it’s another family member.

 

[portlock seagull]

Me, myself and Irene is bloody hilarious. It's not PC.

Should love it in that case!!

 

[Triggaaar]

Should love it in that case!!

It's Jim Carrey, so as long as you're not allergic to him it's good. It's also got Renee Z, and I know you like her

 

[Badger Boy]

I'm really sorry to hear about your father, it's a devastating situation for you and the whole family. Inevitably, everyone is going to feel differently about how they need to behave and how they want to focus their energy. There is no right and no wrong way to do that but I can fully understand your frustration with the bible bashing stuff. I don't think you should say anything, other than on here afterwards where you can truly rant and rave and have a captive audience.

My respects to you, your father and your family. Thank you for sharing your situation with us and I hope it's therapeutic if not valuable to express yourself here.

 

[portlock seagull]

It's Jim Carrey, so as long as you're not allergic to him it's good. It's also got Renee Z, and I know you like her

Phwooooar!! (Jim Carey I mean!)