[Albion] Better song for Mitoma - suggestion

[Wellesley]

Posh Spice is a slapper,
She really loves a Jap,
When Mitoma scores for Brighton,
She goes bouncing on his lap.

 

[ElectricNaz]

He comes from Japan
He's a hell of a man
He scores some lovely goals
And his name is Kaoru Mitooooma
Mit-o-o-o-oooma

(Lola)

 

[Commander]

Runs down the wing
Crosses it over
His name's Mitoma
Need help with this line

To the tune of 'Any dream will do'.

Spurs used to sing something similar about Ginola.

 

[Salty_Seagull]

Mitoma's Japanese he puts defenders on their knees I really think so
Mitoma's Japanese he legs it past you with some ease I really think so

 

[Whitley Bayster]

Crikey that's nasty.

Take a look at the rest of the song! It's filth! Its a bit dodgy 1970s TV presenter to say the least

 

[Hudson Hawk]

My my my Mitoma
Fly fly fly Mitoma
We can see, the goals he scores f-r-e-e-l-y
Defenders all hate him but we keep on asking for more

I had the Delilah chorus in mind too, not sure of the lyrics though.

 

[Change at Barnham]

Runs down the wing
Crosses it over
His name's Mitoma
Need help with this line

To the tune of 'Any dream will do'.

Spurs used to sing something similar about Ginola.

The 4th line scans just fine, no need to change it.

 

[BluesRockDJ]

Probably after Saturdays' performance, the Goons "Goodbye" might be appropriate !

 

[Doingitforthekids]

Apart from

The original lyrics are....
Never gonna stop, give it up, such a dirty mind
I always get it up for the touch of the younger kind
My, my, my, I, yi, woo!
M-m-m-my Sharona
M-m-m-my Sharona

Switch to....
Kaoru never stops, just give it up, such a touch
We always get up for our Jap we love so much

The original lyrics are....
Never gonna stop, give it up, such a dirty mind
I always get it up for the touch of the younger kind
My, my, my, I, yi, woo!
M-m-m-my Sharona
M-m-m-my Sharona

Switch to....
Kaoru never stops, just give it up, such a touch
We always get up for our Jap we love so much
My, my, my, Kaoru!
M-m-m-my Mitoma
M-m-m-my Mitoma

Apart from the casual racism and offensive term it scans...

Not implying that the poster is racist but that term can be considered very upsetting in some communities so best leave out

 

[World of Sport]

I'm turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so

 

[Justice]

I'm turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese, I think I'm turning Japanese
I really think so

Do we need to pull our eyes into slits too? FFS.

 

[shibainu]

Do we need to pull our eyes into slits too? FFS.

That'd be more than hilarious if Albion supporters are investigated due to slanted-eye gesture against Mitoma.

 

[Couldn't Be Hyypia]

A little bit more about the song My Sharona (who was a real person):

https://www.songfacts.com/facts/the-knack/my-sharona

 

[Crouch End Seagull]

I’m sure we could transform Freed from Desire into a tune about the great man and defences being terrified. Or

To the tune of Ca-Sara-sara

Oh Kaoru Kaoru
He’s better than all of you
He plays in the white and blue
Oh Kaoru Kaoru

 

[AK74]

He comes from the land of the rising sun,
Plays for Brighton, scores goals for fun,
Wrote a dissertation, got a 2:1*
Beats defenders, leaves heads spun,
He's KAORU MITOMA

*he might conceivably have done better and achieved a first, but that wouldn't scan.

 

[Badger Boy]

I like Mitoma,
I can not lie,
You defenders can't deny,
When Mitoma runs in
with the ball at his feet
And an idea in his head,
you get DONE,
better get up son,
before you know he's GONE.

 

[zeemeeuw]

He comes from the land of the rising sun,
Plays for Brighton, scores goals for fun,
Wrote a dissertation, got a 2:1*
Beats defenders, leaves heads spun,
He's KAORU MITOMA

*he might conceivably have done better and achieved a first, but that wouldn't scan.

We've lined up a the grad who got a First-Class Honours as his replacement.

 

[Whitley Bayster]

Apart from



Apart from the casual racism and offensive term it scans...

Not implying that the poster is racist but that term can be considered very upsetting in some communities so best leave out

Fair enough and not intended

 

[Paulie Gualtieri]

Kaoru, Kaoru Mitoma
Runs down the wing for me

 

[trueblue]

My my my Mitoma
Fly fly fly Mitoma
We can see, the goals he scores f-r-e-e-l-y
Defenders all hate him but we keep on asking for more

You could fit in "the goals he scores eas-i-ly". Probably scans a bit better?