[Humour] Best Man Speech - Palace Groom!!

[seagulls120]

Hi all,

My mate is getting married in a months time and unfortunately he is a Palace fan (I know, I know)!

I’m seeking some ideas how I can ‘nicely’ poke fun at the fact he supports Palace (along with half the room!). Any ideas welcome, somehow comparing marriage to supporting palace is my thinking!

Thanks

 

[Is it PotG?]

Ask the carriage driver if he needs a dump.

 

[East Staffs Gull]

You could dive to the floor a couple of times.

 

[Hugo Rune]

Something about getting Old Roy round to fill him for him and do the business in the bedroom if he doesn’t perform?

 

[Sarisbury Seagull]

I had to do this last year. Generally just laid into Croydon, Selhurst, their horrible purple kit and basically that they weren’t Brighton.

Biggest laugh I got though was when I referred to them as the Stripey Nigels. Turned out the rest of the room (Southampton, Pompey, Spurs and Arsenal fans mainly plus a couple of other Brighton and Palace fans) had never heard of the name before.

 

[South Stand Bonfire]

Hi all,

My mate is getting married in a months time and unfortunately he is a Palace fan (I know, I know)!

I’m seeking some ideas how I can ‘nicely’ poke fun at the fact he supports Palace (along with half the room!). Any ideas welcome, somehow comparing marriage to supporting palace is my thinking!

Thanks

Can’t you find out where he will be spending his wedding night and lay a cable for him to find in his en-suite? I’m sure he’ll see the funny side of it.

 

[AmexRuislip]

Hi all,

My mate is getting married in a months time and unfortunately he is a Palace fan (I know, I know)!

I’m seeking some ideas how I can ‘nicely’ poke fun at the fact he supports Palace (along with half the room!). Any ideas welcome, somehow comparing marriage to supporting palace is my thinking!

Thanks

Throw a load of small change at him.

 

[Coldeanseagull]

You could always puncture the tyres on their caravan

 

[lawros left foot]

Something about,unfortunately not going down this year,so his Missus may like to find a Southampton fan.

 

[Taybha]

Just do 10% of the speech

 

[East Staffs Gull]

You could wead an imaginawy congratulatowy message from Woy.

 

[Stato]

Warn the bride that, if he's anything like his football club, at the first sign of trouble he might sack her and bring in her nan?

 

[METALMICKY]

Hi all,

My mate is getting married in a months time and unfortunately he is a Palace fan (I know, I know)!

I’m seeking some ideas how I can ‘nicely’ poke fun at the fact he supports Palace (along with half the room!). Any ideas welcome, somehow comparing marriage to supporting palace is my thinking!

Thanks

Personally I wouldn't overdo it on the anti Palace jokes as from what you've said only half the room is likely to understand and appreciate the rivalry. You risk the other the other half politely laughing but in reality not having a clue.

One of the classic pit falls of a best man's speech is one too laden with in jokes. I went to a wedding a few years back and the groom and best man had been mates in the marines together along with a handful of the rest of the room. Way too many bootneck jokes meant the speech fell a bit flat

 

[A1X]

Hope the marriage lasts as long as the plans to build a new stand at Selhurst

 

[dazzer6666]

Get half a dozen mates to walk in in black hoodies, turf a family group off of one of the tables saying it had been reserved for them now and then sing crap songs to an out of time drummer for a few minutes before going deathly quiet for the rest of the function.

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

You have a friend who is a Palace fan? You certainly need help...but not with a wedding speech.

 

[Wrong-Direction]

I did a best man speech last summer, just winged it for a few mins, people thought it was great

 

[BN9 BHA]

You have a friend who is a Palace fan? You certainly need help...but not with a wedding speech.

I’m impressed the Palace fan is having an Albion fan as his best man, quite funny really.

 

[Questions]

Is it in a marquee ? (tent)

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Have you thought about tying a really tatty banner with some illiterate, meaningless crap scrawled on it across the front of the top table, and then claiming to be the best wedding guests in the entire world?