[Football] Best ever football insults.

[Barry Izbak]

as for insults, I think you have to go a long way before you can beat when your manager throws a handful of small change on the pitch and utters the immortal words "you're not worth that" towards the opposition

 

[el punal]

as for insults, I think you have to go a long way before you can beat when your manager throws a handful of small change on the pitch and utters the immortal words "you're not worth that" towards the opposition

I woz there! And yes, it was the perfect insult.

 

[Mattywerewolf]

Liked the 7-0 to the Albion when we were 6-1 up vs Blackpool with their only goal an own goal....

 

[bobbysmith01]

I remember during the Barry Lloyds days on Saturday after Mrs Lloyd was in court for drink driving, during some awful play, some bloke screamed from the north stand ' no wonder you effing wife drinks Lloyd'

 

[Eeyore]

Sometimes irony is the best form of insult. When the Albion fans started singing 'We're Brighton & Hove Albion- our striker is Bent', at Wolverhampton last year, it was clear that the (very few) boneheads amongst their number were in utter confusion as to how to respond.

 

[theboybilly]

Wasn't it Bobby Moore?

I read this years ago (probably in Charles Buchan's Football Monthly) and am almost certain it was Paddy Crerand

 

[thedonkeycentrehalf]

As a goalkeeper I was having a bad day kicking the ball into a strong wind. One of my team mates came up to me and said "I think there is a slight problem with your technique". Thinking I was about to get a sympathetic piece of advice he followed this up with the words "the ball is too close to your feet.....after you have kicked it". Harsh, but fair.

 

[Miximate]

Another one from Cloughie in response to one of his players who had been dropped from the 1st team....

Player - "gaffer, why am I in the 2nd team this week?"

Cloughie - "Because I haven't got a 3rd team son!"

 

[Baldseagull]

Millwall gave it all the usual "we can see you holding hands etc", very boring, but I had to smirk at "you only sing when you're rimming".

 

[Pavilionaire]

The one that brings a smile to my face is: "He DID, he DID, he fiddled with the kid..." sung to Dave Jones at Wolves away on the night of the Kuipers double save.

 

[BigBod]

Changed me mind......

 

[tinycowboy]

I'm not a big fan of Big Ron Atkinson, but I always remember what he said about Carlton Palmer - "he can trap a ball further than I can kick it".

 

[Norman Baker suck my lozenge]

Port Vale away,last game of season 2002,some tired old bint with teeth like a pan of burnt chips,she started singing the usual holding hands guff outside a boozer,we sang"take yer teeth out for the lads".
Made me chuckle.

 

[GT49er]

Rangers fans at Ibrox, playing the mighty Leeds - featuring Eric "Ooh-ar" Cantona in the European Cup. Cantona was having one of his off days, never seemed to get anywhere near the ball. Massed ranks of Rangers fans gleefully roaring out, "Ou est Cantona, Ou est Cantona."

Errmm, that's in French, by the way.........

 

[Doctor Crawley]

West Ham fans away at Liverpool, live on Sky as Liverpool introduced Peter Crouch as a 2nd half sub.
"what the fu**ing hell is that" they sang.

 

[AnotherArch]

Plymouth fans to us: " You dirty NORTHERN b*st*rds".
Made me smile.

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

I went to Old Trafford to see an early Champions League match (just looked it up - it was 1997) v Borussia Dortmund - Paul Lambert was playing for Borussia. Old Trafford was in full cry - which could be quite impressive. Then Borussia scored. Old Trafford fell silent - this was not in the script. After the goal celebrations died down the away end started singing - in perfect English "Sing Ven You're Vinning, You Only Sing Ven Your're Vinning ..........." - you had to be there I suppose - but it was absolutely hilarious!

 

[warmleyseagull]

Not sure where I heard it but wag's comment to goalie comes to mind: "you're worse than ****ing Cinderella. At least she got to the ball."

 

[Icy Gull]

German fans belting out in perfect English "Football's coming home" at Wembley as they won the European Cup made me smile but it was fecking insulting!

 

[Bill Cassidy's tie up]

Sorry racing not football but mentioned in one of John Francomes books,
"If Jesus rode his fuc...g donkey like you just rode that fuc..g horse no wonder they fuc...g crucified him"