djlazyness
New member
A noise went into a bar and ask for a drink. The barman said I'm not serving you! the noise asked why not, the barman said because you are already off your face!
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Best Ever Comedy lines.
- Thread starter Willy Dangle
- Start date
Philzo-93
Well-known member
Patient: "Doctor Doctor, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my ass"
Doctor:"Howzat?!"
Patient: "Don't you start!"
Doctor:"Howzat?!"
Patient: "Don't you start!"
Cheeky Monkey
Well-known member
- Jul 17, 2003
- 23,879
Stan Laurel - "I was dreaming I was awake and woke up and found myself asleep."
Last edited:
Cheeky Monkey
Well-known member
- Jul 17, 2003
- 23,879
Ian Holloway: Crystal Palace will be good enough to make play-offs
Crystal Palace boss Ian Holloway believes his side will make the play-offs after their 0-0 draw at Millwall.
Palace are without a win in seven but are two points inside the play-offs.
He told BBC Radio 5 live: "People can talk about stats but we are not the only team to not be winning. Some of them are much worse than us."
Crystal Palace boss Ian Holloway believes his side will make the play-offs after their 0-0 draw at Millwall.
Palace are without a win in seven but are two points inside the play-offs.
He told BBC Radio 5 live: "People can talk about stats but we are not the only team to not be winning. Some of them are much worse than us."
Inspector Raymond C. Fowler: The artful dodger was a thief. And I don't think he'd have considered himself quite so "at home" in a juvenile detention center, which is where I'd have put him. Thieving is thieving and no amount of oom-pa-pa or boom-titty-titty will change that.
RupertsFlan
New member
- Nov 28, 2012
- 223
We've had a few calls in - let me just say the Queen is not dead.
Unless she's passed away in the night and is yet to be discovered.
Unless she's passed away in the night and is yet to be discovered.
Normal Rob
Well-known member
Frank Drebin: Nice beaver.
Jane: Thank you. I just had it stuffed.
Jane: Thank you. I just had it stuffed.
If you're going to quote what is a brilliant line, at least do it right!
It's just "don't tell him Pike!"
Lord Flasheart: The first thing to remember is: always treat your kite like you treat your woman!
Lieutenant George: How, how do you mean, Sir? Do you mean, do you mean take her home at weekends to meet your mother?
Lord Flasheart: No, I mean get inside her five times a day and take her to heaven and back.
Lieutenant George: How, how do you mean, Sir? Do you mean, do you mean take her home at weekends to meet your mother?
Lord Flasheart: No, I mean get inside her five times a day and take her to heaven and back.
SeeGoals
Bloom’n Marvellous
One of my favourite Marx Brothers quotes:
Groucho: "That's in every contract, that's what you call a sanity clause."
Chico: "You can't a fool a me there ain't no sanity clause"
Groucho/Chico in A Night at the Opera (movie)
If you like this then follow this link:
http://www.marx-brothers.org/info/quotes.htm
Groucho: "That's in every contract, that's what you call a sanity clause."
Chico: "You can't a fool a me there ain't no sanity clause"
Groucho/Chico in A Night at the Opera (movie)
If you like this then follow this link:
http://www.marx-brothers.org/info/quotes.htm