Bell Cheeses at work

[Notters]

Hahah love that.

Fortunately I no longer work with Colin, however I can regale you with another fact. He is an amateur ghost hunter and goes all over the UK, with a tape recorder, and records empty rooms.

This is from his LinkedIn page
View attachment 103860

He's fairly harmless to be fair, but one of those blokes that you can only be near for about an hour. Any longer and you'd kill yourself.

You know it's very easy to find him from the above! My friend used to work at said supermarket headquarters, wonder if you know her.

 

[marlowe]

This is from his LinkedIn page
View attachment 103860

He's fairly harmless to be fair, but one of those blokes that you can only be near for about an hour. Any longer and you'd kill yourself.

I take it that wasn't you who wrote the recommendation. According to that he's a pleasure to work with, although it does go on to say he's "challenging".

 

[sussex_guy2k2]

Sound advice there Badge. UNTIL YOU REALISE HE CAN DRIVE. Long distances. Where can I run from that hobby? Hmmm?
View attachment 103850
His record to Edinburgh is very impressive. I'm not sure where he started from, possibly Glasgow if he stopped for fuel and chatted about his time in the secret service. That would have easily taken 10 hours.

When did driving on normal roads become a hobby?

 

[Eric Potts]

When did driving on normal roads become a hobby?

CJ didn’t get where he is today by avoiding driving on normal roads.
( Which will go right over the heads of the younger elements on here )

 

[Bodian]

Sound advice there Badge. UNTIL YOU REALISE HE CAN DRIVE. Long distances. Where can I run from that hobby? Hmmm?
View attachment 103850
His record to Edinburgh is very impressive. I'm not sure where he started from, possibly Glasgow if he stopped for fuel and chatted about his time in the secret service. That would have easily taken 10 hours.

Can't believe your first entry about this only had the top two on his list. The driving hobby is even better!!

 

[Norman Potting]

CJ didn’t get where he is today by avoiding driving on normal roads.
( Which will go right over the heads of the younger elements on here )

Great. possibly even super and if I ever get a cat I will call it Ponsoby - Greebo if I get a another one

 

[Paulie Gualtieri]

Hahah love that.

Fortunately I no longer work with Colin, however I can regale you with another fact. He is an amateur ghost hunter and goes all over the UK, with a tape recorder, and records empty rooms.

This is from his LinkedIn page
View attachment 103860

He's fairly harmless to be fair, but one of those blokes that you can only be near for about an hour. Any longer and you'd kill yourself.

I have an image that he Is he like the IT Guy from The Office (UK)?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[jonnyrovers]

Yep. You're screwed

I've always been VERY definite about not engaging at any level with office dickheads. There is no going back now. this bullshit can only escalate, now he thinks you are kindred spirits.

You will have to leave, or kill him.

Ah crap. You'd better be bloody wrong.....??

 

[Happy Exile]

This thread is absolutely fantastic reading and cheers up many a weary trip.

My current place of work thankfully has relatively little bell-cheesery, we do have one woman though with the kind of explosive laugh that could leave you rocking in the corner of the room and in need of counselling you'd end up re-mortgaging to afford. Proper, expensive counselling that takes you apart and tries to reconstruct you and hide the cracks and joins. It's not just that the laugh is loud and piercing, it's that she also seems to find even the smallest facts of everyday life HILARIOUS. I'm unfortunate enough to sit near her when I'm in the building, which at least means I get a warning it's coming, but those a few desks away literally jump when it comes (you can see them flinch and be startled) and we've had people half way across the building request a desk move away from their own teams just to get away from the noise. People one floor above actually book meeting rooms just for phone calls in case she can be heard in the background if they called from their desks instead (the office is open between floors).

It's hard to really describe quite how loud it is but it's more of a shout than a laugh. If you imagine, I dunno, someone who has lost all sense of self-awareness, has a bit of a screechy high-pitched voice, and a bit like the game "bogeys" they decide to shout "Zaha-ha" at the top of their voice in the middle of an office building that's generally quite quiet with just the buzz of work, then that'd be an approximation.

I find myself wincing involuntarily every time, and because she finds everything so funny a certain type of personality in the office now comes to her desk just to tell the most mundane and dull anecdote so they can feel validated by her reaction.

Bloke: I went on a date last night
ExplodingLaughterWoman: Really? [at this point she's already talking over a suppressed giggle]
Bloke: yeah...she ordered pizza
ELW: and? [still suppressing a giggle, holding her breath now too]
Bloke: so I knew it wasn't going to be a good night
ELW: What? [proper giggle now. then the EXPLOSIVE] HA! HA! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Bloke: well, do I look like a man who likes pizza?
ELW: HAAAA! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL! HAAAAAAA!
Bloke: so I don't think that's going anywhere
ELW: [holding breath again, talking over giggle] You said that? HAAAAAAAAA! SQUEEL! HA HA HAAAAAAAAAA!

Our CEO was interviewed on BBC news a few months ago, 8 floors above her in our building and in the background you could hear on the TV, her laugh sounding almost like someone had just kicked over a crockery cupboard.

No-one wants to be the one to tell her not to find everything so funny, and she's a perfectly nice person, but the bell cheesedom of her obliviousness to the disruption and the little gang of those who all spend a few minutes every day telling her their latest HILARIOUS anecdote is high.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Yep. You're screwed

I've always been VERY definite about not engaging at any level with office dickheads.

Quite. The following training video shows the recommended approach to be taken with Colins in the workplace

 

[FatSuperman]

I have an image that he Is he like the IT Guy from The Office (UK)?

He’s similar to Gareth, constantly suggesting he’s a restrained killing machine. But is in fact a tubby old boy. Should have shaved his head ages ago but chose to slick it over his pate.

He came back from lunch once with a blue plaster on the top of his forehead. Wasn’t able to tell me what had happened but indicated it was better I didn’t know, for my sake. Such an odd guy

 

[Stat Brother]

Hi

Does bellcheesary also apply to colleagues who do absolutely fook all (and I genuinely mean fook all) unless there's a manager nearby, at which point they go into overdrive?

I'd be amazed if I'm alone in this and would appreciate some tips in overcoming the problem, as passive aggression isn't working.

 

[Bodian]

Hi

Does bellcheesary also apply to colleagues who do absolutely fook all (and I genuinely mean fook all) unless there's a manager nearby, at which point they go into overdrive?

I'd be amazed if I'm alone in this and would appreciate some tips in overcoming the problem, as passive aggression isn't working.

One bloke I worked with was always 'too busy' to do anything anytime anyone suggested that he get involved in doing something that was actually his job. But amazingly he was never 'too busy' when the boss asked him to do the very same thing. I have no tips though I'm afraid.

 

[bn1&bn3 Albion]

Hi

Does bellcheesary also apply to colleagues who do absolutely fook all (and I genuinely mean fook all) unless there's a manager nearby, at which point they go into overdrive?

I'd be amazed if I'm alone in this and would appreciate some tips in overcoming the problem, as passive aggression isn't working.

Depends whether his laziness means the workload gets spread around the rest of the staff.

 

[Ex-Staffs Gull]

I have spent the whole day having to listen to a German and South African arguing about the correct process for backups. Literally they have spent the whole 8 hours shouting at each other. The two accents going hammer and tongs in my ears has sent me slightly screwy.

Worst thing is the office is a 'Flexible working' zone and I made the mistake of sitting in their zone. And dont get me started on flexible working environments.

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[AmexRuislip]

Hi

Does bellcheesary also apply to colleagues who do absolutely fook all (and I genuinely mean fook all) unless there's a manager nearby, at which point they go into overdrive?

I'd be amazed if I'm alone in this and would appreciate some tips in overcoming the problem, as passive aggression isn't working.

 

[Easy 10]

I might have just done an unintentional bit of bellcheesery.

Around the floor, as is quite commonplace in most offices, we have these little trapdoors cut into the carpet, which when opened up give access to the various plugs and wiring etc under the floor. The one next to my desk is a little bit loose. Perfectly safe, but if you step on it, it gives a slight rattle.

Lorraine from HR (perfectly pleasant woman) just came BUSTLING through. Now she's by no means obese, but she is probably what you'd call a borderline porkster, maybe a chubster in pending. Anyway, on her way past my desk she trod on the trapdoor, it gave its customary rattle, and she let out a little "oooh!" in surprise.

My response ?

"I wouldn't worry, there's no way you're falling through that".

As SOON as I said it, the second it came out, something in my brain went "uh-oohh". I actually MEANT that it was quite safe, and that it wouldn't open or break under her foot. Genuinely, thats how I meant it. But I think she took it as if there was no WAY her frame would possibly fit through the trapdoor. She continued her bustle with a nervous chuckle, and I've been left sitting here ever since, wondering if I need to pop over to her desk and clarify my remark. Or maybe email her.

Sake.

 

[Lower West Stander]

I might have just done an unintentional bit of bellcheesery.

Around the floor, as is quite commonplace in most offices, we have these little trapdoors cut into the carpet, which when opened up give access to the various plugs and wiring etc under the floor. The one next to my desk is a little bit loose. Perfectly safe, but if you step on it, it gives a slight rattle.

Lorraine from HR (perfectly pleasant woman) just came BUSTLING through. Now she's by no means obese, but she is probably what you'd call a borderline porkster, maybe a chubster in pending. Anyway, on her way past my desk she trod on the trapdoor, it gave its customary rattle, and she let out a little "oooh!" in surprise.

My response ?

"I wouldn't worry, there's no way you're falling through that".

As SOON as I said it, the second it came out, something in my brain went "uh-oohh". I actually MEANT that it was quite safe, and that it wouldn't open or break under her foot. Genuinely, thats how I meant it. But I think she took it as if there was no WAY her frame would possibly fit through the trapdoor. She continued her bustle with a nervous chuckle, and I've been left sitting here ever since, wondering if I need to pop over to her desk and clarify my remark. Or maybe email her.

Sake.

I am finding increasing amounts of female bellcheesery driven by the paranoia of potentially saying the wrong thing.

There was a “women’s offsite” last month (imagine an equivalent for men?). Since they came back there has been increasing number of whispering and quiet meetings between them which no man is allowed to discuss.

We all sit silently...


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[TheJasperCo]

I am finding increasing amounts of female bellcheesery driven by the paranoia of potentially saying the wrong thing.

There was a “women’s offsite” last month (imagine an equivalent for men?). Since they came back there has been increasing number of whispering and quiet meetings between them which no man is allowed to discuss.

We all sit silently...


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

But then, how can you possibly explain the principles of the "offsite" rule to them?!

 

[timbha]

I might have just done an unintentional bit of bellcheesery.

Around the floor, as is quite commonplace in most offices, we have these little trapdoors cut into the carpet, which when opened up give access to the various plugs and wiring etc under the floor. The one next to my desk is a little bit loose. Perfectly safe, but if you step on it, it gives a slight rattle.

Lorraine from HR (perfectly pleasant woman) just came BUSTLING through. Now she's by no means obese, but she is probably what you'd call a borderline porkster, maybe a chubster in pending. Anyway, on her way past my desk she trod on the trapdoor, it gave its customary rattle, and she let out a little "oooh!" in surprise.

My response ?

"I wouldn't worry, there's no way you're falling through that".

As SOON as I said it, the second it came out, something in my brain went "uh-oohh". I actually MEANT that it was quite safe, and that it wouldn't open or break under her foot. Genuinely, thats how I meant it. But I think she took it as if there was no WAY her frame would possibly fit through the trapdoor. She continued her bustle with a nervous chuckle, and I've been left sitting here ever since, wondering if I need to pop over to her desk and clarify my remark. Or maybe email her.

Sake.

I’m sitting here feeling your anguish. Buy her a Diet Coke and mars bar.