Is she FAT?
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Bell Cheeses at work
- Thread starter Iggle Piggle
- Start date
Is she FAT?
No, which is slightly puzzling. I have however, discovered a proper CHUBSTER working upstairs, we were having a meeting in the glass fronted meeting room and every 5 minutes or so I saw her WADDLE past to get something from the printer, she looked KNACKERED after the third trip.
You've mis-spelled 'fridge'.
I did meet her in the kitchen earlier, I kept having to circumnavigate her to get between the sink and the coffee pot. I did make a comment about the kitchen being a bit cramped, I don't think she twigged that she was the cause of it.
TWOCHOICEStom
Well-known member
I work in an office of about 70 people. The average age is 25, 80% are women and all of them are Swedish.
But someone forgot to empty the dishwasher today.
It can't go on like this.
But someone forgot to empty the dishwasher today.
It can't go on like this.
Sounds a NIGHTMARE.
Postman Pat
Well-known member
A new annoyance today - the martyr.
We have recently carried out an infrastructure implementation and one of my colleagues was the analyst on it, she has spent the last 3 weeks running the project and told us all of the fact she has worked till 11pm every night and at weekends. The other day she was up till 3am doing some testing and was in early again this morning. The thing is she shuns any offer of assistance with " by the time I explained it to you I could have done it myself...." well clearly not as you have been doing this for 3 bloody weeks now.
I offered to come in this morning to help with the implementation but was rejected, when I arrived she was looking stressed and complaining about the amount of things she had to do. I made a cup of tea and stuck my headphones on.
We have recently carried out an infrastructure implementation and one of my colleagues was the analyst on it, she has spent the last 3 weeks running the project and told us all of the fact she has worked till 11pm every night and at weekends. The other day she was up till 3am doing some testing and was in early again this morning. The thing is she shuns any offer of assistance with " by the time I explained it to you I could have done it myself...." well clearly not as you have been doing this for 3 bloody weeks now.
I offered to come in this morning to help with the implementation but was rejected, when I arrived she was looking stressed and complaining about the amount of things she had to do. I made a cup of tea and stuck my headphones on.
Brian Fantana
Well-known member
She's now attempting to wear that hat at a JAUNTY angle - like she's in on the joke. She just made two FALSE trips to the printer, just to loop passed desks in the hope that people would congratulate her for celebrating Christmas in such a HILARIOUS manner.
Just **** OFF.
Iggle Piggle
Well-known member
- Sep 3, 2010
- 5,922
- Thread starter
- #209
I see [MENTION=7271]Postman Pat[/MENTION] has diversified. No more delivering parcels and Letters to Mrs Goggins in Greendale.
It's Infrastructure and IT bollox with fat middle aged women now.
It's Infrastructure and IT bollox with fat middle aged women now.
TWOCHOICEStom
Well-known member
Yes!
Does she send group emails at 11pm so everyone can see just how much of a wonderful person she is?
Ha. The Noise Machine is guilty off that bollocks. Not of actually working any additional hours (minutes even). But of always being ostentatiously 'busy'.
Too busy to make tea? Check
Too busy to get off her fat arse to answer the intercom? Check
Too busy to discuss what she and the other fatty watched on telly last night? Not a ****ing bar of it.
She really is an absolute ****. She makes my CMANM sound only mildly annoying, by comparison. I genuinely pity you.
Brian Fantana
Well-known member
Appreciated.
It's nice to be able to VENT on a thread where people understand.
A big shout out to the smelly simpleton who sits next to you and constantly interrupts you with banal, utterly unwanted streams of consciousness. Did I say you? I meant ME obviously. What a cock.
Additionally, he's been here six years and knows less about our processes than I have learned in my 18 months here - that'll be because of his slopey-shouldered insistence in dodging anything that looks like it isn't 5 minute's work or requires a bit more than the default use of his brain.
Oh, and he's a glory hunting Liverpool bellend who laps up the dog-eat-dog, fck everyone else SkySports view of football these days. He's been once in ten years - last season when "Stevie G" trod on the ball at home to Chelsea and ruined their title chances - which pleased me no end.
Additionally, he's been here six years and knows less about our processes than I have learned in my 18 months here - that'll be because of his slopey-shouldered insistence in dodging anything that looks like it isn't 5 minute's work or requires a bit more than the default use of his brain.
Oh, and he's a glory hunting Liverpool bellend who laps up the dog-eat-dog, fck everyone else SkySports view of football these days. He's been once in ten years - last season when "Stevie G" trod on the ball at home to Chelsea and ruined their title chances - which pleased me no end.
You do seem to be winning on the "annoying middle aged fatty" stakes, my current office is quite a nice environment in comparison. I reckon the woman I sat next to at my last company (see page 1) would have given her a run for her money, especially when she'd had a couple of drinks with her (2 hour) lunch, she's the only person I've worked with who I've genuinely wanted to PUNCH repeatedly.
Postman Pat
Well-known member
Of course, with the most meaningless drivel, just to prove that she is still working, fact is she could have done sweet FA till 11pm and then sent a vacuous email about project progress "we are continuing to meet objectives and are still on track for delivery".
TWOCHOICEStom
Well-known member
Oh perfect. Please tell me she's ended at least one email with "right, I'm off to bed" Those are my absolute FAVES.
You have to pray that people who do this sort of thing (having contributed very little in those five hours of martyrdom) get recompensed appropriately at bonus time. ie. no differently from the rest of us who go to bed on time, and are therefore twice as productive during WORKING HOURS.
Postman Pat
Well-known member
We've had this beauty: Have a nice evening all and speak tomorrow
Who the f**k do you think is reading your drivel at 11pm??
They don't do it for the bonus, they do it for the "special mention" at the next company meeting, or if they're really lucky they'll get some sort of "employee of the month" type award and a wanky bottle off fizz.