Barbecues - What's The Point

[Commander]

So, you spend thousands and thousands of pounds on a modern kitchen stacked with modern working appliances, but cook your dinner outside on an unreliable rust bucket capable of inflicting serious harm to your health.

For heavens sake, cook inside and eat outside if you like, but BBQ's ?

No thanks.

Nonsense. A BBQ is the best way to cook meat, they are fantastic. Go to Argentina, the home of the best steak on the planet, how do they cook it? Over charcoal, even in a swanky restaurant. The problem isn't the BBQ, it's people who have no idea what they're doing cooking a load of cheap sausages and burgers over a high, flamey heat and ending up with stuff black on the outside and pink in the middle. Do it properly and it is unbeatable. Top quality meat and a a good quality charcoal BBQ that you adjust the height of the grill easily, and you're on to a winner. No need for marinade, just the best quality steak you can buy and some home made chimchurri sauce. Magnificent.

 

[banjo]

Just back from the beach and BBQ lit. Happy days.

 

[RexCathedra]

I have a lid on mine and have worked out how to use it to roast the joints at Christmas and during the cooler winter months.

Thanksgiving turkey has come off the grill here for years.... (This is the year I was painting the house and got caught by the winter...)

 

[SIMMO SAYS]

Just going to serve Spatchcock chicken-Jersey Royals-Salad and several bottles of New Zealands finest plonk-------------------having already drunk one----chefs privilege

 

[Meade's Ball]

I'm a vegetarian, but i still do the decent thing for the girlfriend by going out and catching the meat first. Annoyingly, she has a flesh obsession with the European Wood Bison, now only vulnerable rather than on the verge of extinction, and off i go by caravan through the Eurotunnel to the Belarus-Poland border, the darkest forest i've ever hunted in, to lie in wait, nudely, in the shrubbery at the foot of a gigantic tsar oak, the club i intend to batter with never aquiver in the cold. Up i roar, freezing the beast in its tracks, and into a stare we go, like in Crocodile Dundee. I'm proud in my privates at this point, hoping in the bison's eyes it's as pointy and deadly as the two on his head, and we charge at other. Unfortunately for my opponent, it is unaware of the little cannister of buffalo rohypnol spray i have to fire and bamboozle the hairy fool. I dodge its first blow, the sleepgas spreading into its countless sinuses. When it turns to go for round 2, a bebafflement locks into his glare and i am fully aware that a clubbing to death will occur in seconds. The whiff of scattered blood can be picked up from a mile away by ever-desperate eurasian wolves for, and their unforgiving howl has me speedily complete my task of beheading my prey and sawing off as many of its legs as i can so hauling the carcass into my Sterling Emerald Elite, prior to the skinning and concealing the steaks and travelling back to the girlfriend. We have an agreement that for all my unpaid efforts i am allowed to spend a night in one of the European port towns with a hooker purchased for no more than 100 euros. Little does she know about Agathe who i meet and stay with in Zeebrugge for free perhaps twice-summerly. I pocket the £100 i claim was spent on the unnamed working girl and stock up on Tizer, my own secret tooth-rotting obsession. I love it.

 

[s5.bha]

I'm a vegetarian, but i still do the decent thing for the girlfriend by going out and catching the meat first. Annoyingly, she has a flesh obsession with the European Wood Bison, now only vulnerable rather than on the verge of extinction, and off i go by caravan through the Eurotunnel to the Belarus-Poland border, the darkest forest i've ever hunted in, to lie in wait, nudely, in the shrubbery at the foot of a gigantic tsar oak, the club i intend to batter with never aquiver in the cold. Up i roar, freezing the beast in its tracks, and into a stare we go, like in Crocodile Dundee. I'm proud in my privates at this point, hoping in the bison's eyes it's as pointy and deadly as the two on his head, and we charge at other. Unfortunately for my opponent, it is unaware of the little cannister of buffalo rohypnol spray i have to fire and bamboozle the hairy fool. I dodge its first blow, the sleepgas spreading into its countless sinuses. When it turns to go for round 2, a bebafflement locks into his glare and i am fully aware that a clubbing to death will occur in seconds. The whiff of scattered blood can be picked up from a mile away by ever-desperate eurasian wolves for, and their unforgiving howl has me speedily complete my task of beheading my prey and sawing off as many of its legs as i can so hauling the carcass into my Sterling Emerald Elite, prior to the skinning and concealing the steaks and travelling back to the girlfriend. We have an agreement that for all my unpaid efforts i am allowed to spend a night in one of the European port towns with a hooker purchased for no more than 100 euros. Little does she know about Agathe who i meet and stay with in Zeebrugge for free perhaps twice-summerly. I pocket the £100 i claim was spent on the unnamed working girl and stock up on Tizer, my own secret tooth-rotting obsession. I love it.

All well and good ...........but gas or coals

 

[rcf0712]

All well and good ...........but gas or coals

Gas

 

[8ace]

I'm a vegetarian, but i still do the decent thing for the girlfriend by going out and catching the meat first. Annoyingly, she has a flesh obsession with the European Wood Bison, now only vulnerable rather than on the verge of extinction, and off i go by caravan through the Eurotunnel to the Belarus-Poland border, the darkest forest i've ever hunted in, to lie in wait, nudely, in the shrubbery at the foot of a gigantic tsar oak, the club i intend to batter with never aquiver in the cold. Up i roar, freezing the beast in its tracks, and into a stare we go, like in Crocodile Dundee. I'm proud in my privates at this point, hoping in the bison's eyes it's as pointy and deadly as the two on his head, and we charge at other. Unfortunately for my opponent, it is unaware of the little cannister of buffalo rohypnol spray i have to fire and bamboozle the hairy fool. I dodge its first blow, the sleepgas spreading into its countless sinuses. When it turns to go for round 2, a bebafflement locks into his glare and i am fully aware that a clubbing to death will occur in seconds. The whiff of scattered blood can be picked up from a mile away by ever-desperate eurasian wolves for, and their unforgiving howl has me speedily complete my task of beheading my prey and sawing off as many of its legs as i can so hauling the carcass into my Sterling Emerald Elite, prior to the skinning and concealing the steaks and travelling back to the girlfriend. We have an agreement that for all my unpaid efforts i am allowed to spend a night in one of the European port towns with a hooker purchased for no more than 100 euros. Little does she know about Agathe who i meet and stay with in Zeebrugge for free perhaps twice-summerly. I pocket the £100 i claim was spent on the unnamed working girl and stock up on Tizer, my own secret tooth-rotting obsession. I love it.

I didn't like Tizer when they changed the recipe a few years ago - thankfully they've changed it back again now

 

[KZNSeagull]

Gas is cheating.

The Braai (BBQ) grill is best cleaned by the dog!

 

[Meade's Ball]

I didn't like Tizer when they changed the recipe a few years ago - thankfully they've changed it back again now

They never made Milky Way like they used to though did they. Something's been amiss with them for more than a decade.

 

[Bodular]

Today I I did asparagus rapped in pancetta along with extra hot piri piri prawns and sweet chilli chicken skewers, with some chipolatas for the kids.
The asparagus was great and it was all finished off with cinnamon coated pineapple ....

I'm going to fire up the BBQ again

 

[BensGrandad]

It is Sunday what is wrong with a traditional roast? Is nothing sacred anymore?

 

[Cheshire Cat]

YUMMMmmmm - the smell of burning paraffin and the after-taste of salmonella

 

[Superphil]

homemade burgers with some diced chilli in the mix from the chilli plant in the greenhouse, and some stuffed chicken breast this afternoon, blooming lovely.

 

[banjo]

homemade burgers with some diced chilli in the mix from the chilli plant in the greenhouse, and some stuffed chicken breast this afternoon, blooming lovely.

Mmmmm !!!! Make My own chilli burgers. The only way to go.

 

[Rich Suvner]

I've just been informed by the wife that she is expecting a barbecue this afternoon.

Just taken a look at the rusting hulk sitting in the garden and can't get any enthusiasm for scraping off all the rust and mold just to cook meats that will turn out black on the outside, pink in the middle and taste of soot.

Whats wrong with perfectly grilled meats from the simple to use electric kitchen appliance?

Do I get cleaning, buy a new barbecue of feign injury?

Clearly you don't know how to use one properly.

 

[Deleted member 18477]

BBQ food is amazing!!!!

 

[mattpenfold]

YUMMMmmmm - the smell of burning paraffin and the after-taste of salmonella

Why would you have paraffin anywhere near a BBQ ?

Use a chimney starter. Three sheets of screwed up newspaper, and a match and the charcoal is going in about 20 mins.

 

[Acker79]

Why would you have paraffin anywhere near a BBQ ?

Use a chimney starter. Three sheets of screwed up newspaper, and a match and the charcoal is going in about 20 mins.

This. I don't know why it's taken so long for them to catch on over here.

 

[Norman Potting]

Who's been to a BBQ where they only cook cheap burgers and value sausages?

and

The biggest waste of time is using a disposable BBQ on the beach.

Experienced this at Birling Gap today, Tesco "bucket" style barbecue probably bought today, incinerating what were probably a couple of Tesco value "sort of" meat burgers. Why? For less money you could have probably had some proper stuff being barbecued outside the National Trust Cafe.

I love barbecues but being a lazy s*d only other peoples and when done properly.