hart's shirt
Well-known member
They've been together 12 years and had 3 kids.
Do they actually need to get married at all?
There's no need to buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.
They've been together 12 years and had 3 kids.
I am as confused as you on this one.
They've been together 12 years and had 3 kids.
...your duel engagment...
Start coughing within the next few weeks and lose a bit of weight and then tell them you have terminal cancer and that they must bring the wedding forward. Once that's out of the way tell them that the hospital made a big mistake and you feel much better and to celebrate you are going to see the Albions first match at the Amex. This way no-ones feelings get hurt.
Wear the stripes to the service and away kit to the reception.
When entering the church and asked if you are "bride" or "groom", come out with a rousing chorus of "on the left side" and "on the right side".
When they are asked about if there are any impediments etc etc, break out into "there's no-one here, there's no-one there" with appropriate hand signals.
During the best mans speech, at the jokes about how and when they met be ready to chant "she shot she scored, he must be Peter Ward".
When they are leaving for the airport for the honeymoon a sad rendition of "Good old Sussex by the Sea".
Crawley at 12.30.
I have a plan for a friendly taxi driver to get me there but getting back could be a problem.
If i'm not at the speeches i will be castrated.
Crawley at 12.30.
I have a plan for a friendly taxi driver to get me there but getting back could be a problem.
If i'm not at the speeches i will be castrated.
I assume your step-daughter's biological father will give her away,therefore your services will not be required during the boring parts of the wedding.Straight after the game get yourself back for the reception,everyones a winner.Also if you do come to the amex,ask your wife if you can have your balls out of the bedroom draw for the day.
I am assuming this is a veiled attempt at working out who is the boss in my marriage.
I can assure of this, I wear the trousers. My wife however tells me which pair to put on.
I'm 100% certain they DID know the importance of this date. They have magical powers.!They honestly have no interest in Football at all.
I'm 100% sure the date would not have meant anything to them.
What are the chances of the game being on Sunday?