Hampden Park
Ex R.N.
- Oct 7, 2003
- 4,993
Hampden Park infants school playground and every day since.
How on earth did you not hear the word f√ck until you were ten and how the f¥ck do you remember the first time?
Can't remember hearing my 1st but I was really shocked when, as a mouthy teen, I took a Sunday job at the tripe factory and heard adults using words I thought only us teens used.
Oh, and what used to confuse (and amuse as I grew older) me was seeing the various versions of the w***** sign in the North Stand at the Goldstone. Some straight armed with hand twisting left and right with all fingers and thumb sticking out straight made me wonder if I had got the word confused with something else, or if I was doing it wrong! Not the sort of thing you can ask your mates or your parents.
I was on holiday in Devon and was about eight, Dad a big cricket fan was listening to TMS on the car radio, Tony Greig was out and shouted "Greig you c#@t".
Always had swearing in the house so was used it it from an early age but knew it was an adult thing. Used to live in Cambridge and we called people 'Farmers' - brilliant as you can put some real venom into it and it was also a double blow to the kids of actual farmers. Great insult although didn't work when I moved down here and people just thought I was weird.
Said first swear word to my mum at 10 when I was stabbed in the arse with a compass at school. Went home and she insisted on seeing and when I saw it had drawn blood I instinctively exclaimed "*******". She thought it was more funny than shocking so I didn't get into trouble but still had to be careful.
My love of early rap was an education, Eazy-E was a potty mouth as were NWA etc. I still have to be careful playing my songs in the car to my 5 year old in case a Cypress Hill track randomly comes on.
My middle brother, aged about six at the time (I was 8), called me a c*** when we were having a day at Shoreham Beach. He got a whack across the back of the legs from the old man for that.
He was right, though
In answer to [MENTION=28934]AmexRuislip[/MENTION]'s question, I can remember getting told off at school aged 7 when I told someone to 'fack off' (actual pronunciation shown) so I guess it was around then.
I'll finish with a joke I was told, aged five. Still one of my absolute favourites.
A lady had three dogs, called 'Bum', 'Tits' and 'Willy'. One day they ran away.
She found a policeman and asked "Have you seen my bum, tits and willy?"
The policeman said "No, but I'd like to"
surely bums, tits and fanny?