Armed robbery

[Scotty Mac]

in burgess hill apparently

sounds like its all kicking off

 

[Colossal Squid]

They'll never be able to rob the town of its decency at least.



It has never had any

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Are you Burgess Hill Born & Bred?

 

[Scotty Mac]

Are you Burgess Hill Born & Bred?

as soon as i posted this thread, i thought how much like tim i sounded

just need to come up with some ubsantiated rumours now about what is going on to copy the great man in his entirety

 

[Brighton M]

Well at least you've already got the shit blog

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Just make them up or wildly speculate.

I'm going to say that TWENTY armed guys turned up at the library in a TANK, all aiming to take out the last copy of The Twits by Roald Dahl, but none of them had a library card so they all HELD UP the head librarian with UZIS and made their escape via Iceland and Blockbuster Video.

It's estimated that THREE pounds were taken, along with four blank library stamps, a copy of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind , a box of Birds Eye Potato Waffles and a bottle of Ice Magic.

 

[Market Porter]

Ooh ooh, there must have been some nasty cyclist too. Probably.

 

[Scotty Mac]

latest rumours reaching mac towers are that the event happened somewhere near wivelsfield train station

i reckon that the armed robbers have held up a couple of dog walkers in bedelands farm nature reserve, getting away with several bags of dogshit which they have subsequently posted through the letterbox of the chippy next to the station in a revenge attack after being sold a particularly poor pie on sunday night

 

[Deleted User X18H]

Oi McCarthy, Al has just text me and said 'fackin shut him up the getaways got a puncture on Jaynes Lane!'

 

[Scotty Mac]

Oi McCarthy, Al has just text me and said 'fackin shut him up the getaways got a puncture on Jaynes Lane!'

i can only hope he has got away, bearing in mind the latest is that there are news crews and forensics all over the place

sounds like a job for horatio caine

 

[Barry Izbak]

My sources, very close to World's End, tell me they saw and heard nothing...
Mind you if it wasn't on the X-Box, and didn't cut the power off to the TV I wouldn't expect them to notice.

 

[Scotty Mac]

latest news - it was, apparently, the newsagents that was hit

what next? suicide bombers in the market place? heroin dealers using kfc as a new base? gun wars outside the triangle? this town isnt safe anymore

 

[Don Tmatter]

Convenience store not the newsagent, caused £500 of improvements and left a grand on the counter as they felt they needed it more

 

[BensGrandad]

Why carry out an armed robbery on a newsagents? That's hardly going to have enough money to make it worthwhile.

Isnt that one a convenience store that sells groceries and booze etc so unless they empty the till frequently it would have more in it than most on here earn in a day. If you do 50 and get away with it is a good earn; the problem comes if you get caught on the first. You could do 7 years for a couple or few grand. If you are in that game you dont expect to get caught as the OB are idiots, so you think, is that why the prisons are full!!

 

[Durlston]

latest news - it was, apparently, the newsagents that was hit

what next? suicide bombers in the market place? heroin dealers using kfc as a new base? gun wars outside the triangle? this town isnt safe anymore

Expect the Mid Sussex Times on Thursday to have a five-page special on it.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

Gunpoint raid on Burgess Hill post office counter From The Argus)