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Anyone know any REALLY GOOD one line jokes?
- Thread starter Andrew
- Start date
KLUNK
Member
Three sisters,Ann,Jan and Fanny all have very big feet. Ann has size 8,Jan size 9 and Fanny size 15. Ann & Jan go on a double date.
One of the boys says, "Jesus,you both have big feet!" Ann replies, "You should see our Fanny's they are massive"
One of the boys says, "Jesus,you both have big feet!" Ann replies, "You should see our Fanny's they are massive"
raz_18
Thomas Parrott
How do you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the front seat.
Cheeky Monkey
Well-known member
- Jul 17, 2003
- 23,884
Too many corkers to mention on this thread, but this is the winner for me....even if it isn't a one liner.
The Peanut Roaster
Banned
My mate owned a cardboard business, until it folded.
Manx Shearwater
New member
A recent poll was taken in the United Arab Emirates asking if they liked the TV show The Flintstones. There were mixed results, apparently Dubai don't, but Abu Dhabi do!
Shropshire Seagull
Well-known member
I called my local leisure centre and said "I'd like to learn to do the splits."
The receptionist asked: "How flexible are you?" - I replied: "I can't do Tuesdays or Thursdays."
I entered a blind-folded mastubation contest last weekend - no idea where I came .....
Spent an hour at the wife's grave this morning. Bless her, she thinks I'm digging a pond.
My next-door-neighbour just confronted me about missing items from her washing line. I nearly shat her pants.
My senile mate keeps knocking on his own front door & then goes round the back to answer his own knocks. I don't think he realises what he's letting himself in for.
What goes "ooooo"? A cow with no lips.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
Did you hear about the the flasher who was thinking about retiring? He finally decided to stick it out for one more year.
"Inspector, we found traces of semen in the victims ear!" "Hmmm, she must have heard the killer comming."
The receptionist asked: "How flexible are you?" - I replied: "I can't do Tuesdays or Thursdays."
I entered a blind-folded mastubation contest last weekend - no idea where I came .....
Spent an hour at the wife's grave this morning. Bless her, she thinks I'm digging a pond.
My next-door-neighbour just confronted me about missing items from her washing line. I nearly shat her pants.
My senile mate keeps knocking on his own front door & then goes round the back to answer his own knocks. I don't think he realises what he's letting himself in for.
What goes "ooooo"? A cow with no lips.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
Did you hear about the the flasher who was thinking about retiring? He finally decided to stick it out for one more year.
"Inspector, we found traces of semen in the victims ear!" "Hmmm, she must have heard the killer comming."
Manx Shearwater
New member
Did you hear about the fun loving alcoholic transvestite? He simply wanted to eat, drink, and be Mary.
raz_18
Thomas Parrott
I bet you I could stop gambling
There are 3 kinds of people those who can count and those who can't
A bad football team is like an old bra no cups and little support
Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a-salted
Police toilet stolen! Cops have nothing to go on
There are 3 kinds of people those who can count and those who can't
A bad football team is like an old bra no cups and little support
Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was a-salted
Police toilet stolen! Cops have nothing to go on
Manx Shearwater
New member
Oy! That's my sig!
Two atoms in a bar, one says "I think I've lost one of my electrons", the other says "Are you sure?" and the first replies "Yes, I'm positive"
My wife lost her virginity when we got engaged, she found it again when we got married!
Postman Pat
Well-known member
About a month before my grandfather died, we covered his back full of lard – after that he went downhill very quickly.
A recent study has found that 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
“I went to a restaurant the other day called ‘Taste of the Raj.’ The waiter hit me with a stick and got me to build a complicated railway system
I tell you what makes my blood boil – crematoriums.
A shipment of Viagra was hijacked last week. Police are looking for two hardened criminals.
Why did the Marxist only drink herbal tea? Because all proper tea is theft
Jesus is on Twitter. Mind you he’s only got the 12 followers
My grandfather started walking five miles a day when he was sixty. Now he’s eighty-five and we don’t know where he is
A recent study has found that 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.
“I went to a restaurant the other day called ‘Taste of the Raj.’ The waiter hit me with a stick and got me to build a complicated railway system
I tell you what makes my blood boil – crematoriums.
A shipment of Viagra was hijacked last week. Police are looking for two hardened criminals.
Why did the Marxist only drink herbal tea? Because all proper tea is theft
Jesus is on Twitter. Mind you he’s only got the 12 followers
My grandfather started walking five miles a day when he was sixty. Now he’s eighty-five and we don’t know where he is
The Large One
Who's Next?
Why a man gets married is a mystery. Why a man gets married twice is a bigamistery.
Hampden Park
Ex R.N.
- Oct 7, 2003
- 4,993
just bought myself a wig made from anal hair, its not very good as it keeps blowing off
StonehamPark
#Brighton-Nil
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can smell it but canne' eat it.
They can smell it but canne' eat it.
banjo
GOSBTS
The wife was counting all the 1p's and 2p's out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason. I thought to myself "She's going through the change."