Any brave tales, NSC?

[The Grockle]

I worked in a pub in South Croydon that was rough as a bear’s arse. On the Friday a local villain took exception to DJ’s choice in music so unplugged the sound system and started throwing stuff about, needless to say the landlady who now runs a pub in Brighton kicked the bloke out.

On the Saturday the bloke returns with his girlfriend and starts shouting his mouth off, he kept repeating ‘so am I barred, am I barred?’ the doorman obviously knew the bloke was a bit dodgy as they were reluctant to tell him to do one. Suddenly the bloke reaches into his girlfriends handbag and pulls out a f*** off silver gun, which later turns out to be loaded with 12 rounds he puts it to the doorman’s head and repeats the words ‘am I barred?’ I couldn’t smell anything but by the looks of things the doorman shit himself, some complete HERO comes out from nowhere, rugby tackles the bloke to the floor and gets the gun off him, the idiot takes a bit of a beating and is now serving a 10 year prison term.

The rugby tackling hero got one or two drinks brought for him that night.

 

[herbicide]

A gentleman would never discuss previous acts of bravery. In my case it would take too long anyway.

It would be like if I posted that I have a huge penis and can make women faint and squirm with delight with my cunnilingus technique. Also that I love animals and have pots of money and am sensitive and lovingly monogamous in a relationship. It would look like I was just doing it to impress the ladies on here.

 

[herbicide]

I never mentioned that I was in the SAS (Secret Death Batallion) and took on the whole Chinese Army by myself, did I?

 

[Easy 10]

You'll be telling us Palace have found a buyer next.

 

[wellquickwoody]

I never mentioned that I was in the SAS (Secret Death Batallion) and took on the whole Chinese Army by myself, did I?

Obviously an old 'Naughty Forty/Dirty Thirty' myth.

 

[herbicide]

You'll be telling us Palace have found a buyer next.

You'll have to wait until Monday.

 

[herbicide]

Obviously an old 'Naughty Forty/Dirty Thirty' myth.

Are you Das Reich in disguise?

 

[wellquickwoody]

Are you Das Reich in disguise?

Certainly not that I am aware of?

 

[Captain Haddock]

A gentleman would never discuss previous acts of bravery. In my case it would take too long anyway.

It would be like if I posted that I have a huge penis and can make women faint and squirm with delight with my cunnilingus technique.

Cunni Lingus.....didn't he used to play inside-right for Motherwell and Scotland in the early 70s?!

 

[Spun Cuppa]

Boarding a coach at The Den in the Eighties, when Mick Ferguson's solitary goal had ended Millwall's thirteen home game unbeaten run, and proceeding away from the ground, while mouthing 'one-nil' out of the window to the pedestrian Millwall fans on the pavement, then regretting in when the coach was held up in post-match traffic, and the same fans, who had caught the coach up, were mouthing 'what was that score mate?' in a VERY menacing manner

 

[mistahclarke]

New Years Eve about 7 years ago, caught a guy trying to rape a girl in Leicester Square. Me and my mate were twatted so ran at him, grabbed and held him up against the wall. Long story, but as he tried to break free it turned into a bit if a scuffle, bunch of asians saw us "doing over" an Middle Eastern bloke and thought it was racial so jumped in, Police turned up and jumped in too...... Don't remember a lot, but as I tried to explain to the police what happened there was the girl with my friend's wife. Saved a LOT of hassle.

more instinct than bravery. Only regret was I was so pissed that when I properly swung at him missed him completely! Never met someone else who deserved that punch at must as that ****.