[Drinking] Alcoholic/like a beer or two too much?

[hans kraay fan club]

Able to do or want to do?

I think I’m perfectly capable of going perma-dry, having had over 200 consecutive dry days earlier this year, but I don’t want to.

I’m now considerably more selective as to when I drink. I’ve broken the “sitting at home, il will have a few drinks” cycle that I was firmly stuck in previously.

I can relate to all that.

I enjoy a drink, and have no interest in going entirely teetotal.

This thread though - and similar discussions on the topic, elsewhere - are a very useful reminder though, to always stay fully conscious of what you are drinking. It is very easy for 'moderate' drinking, to become something else. There's only so many times per week, you can have 'just a couple', and still kid yourself that it is 'moderate'.

My drinking OUT is limited to 5 or 6 pints a week, but it is easy to slip into the habit of a beer at home of an evening, more often than not. I've taken stock of that, and that's now down to a couple of times a week (Match of the Day, for one, has to be accompanied by a beer, or a glass of malt, depending on the time of year).

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

In genuine awe of many of those on this thread. Tried abstaining once, in my teens, for a month. Drank only lemonade and lime for a month. Left me scarred for life and have never repeated the experiment, apart from the odd hospitalisation for totally unrelated reasons. Literally never go a day without a beer, tho take some weird form of brownie point comfort from doing better than my younger brother. Lovely lovely bloke. Tho a bottle of cheap Morrisons vodka a day bloke. Our mum found him dead on his couch on the morning of New Years Day. Fell to me to call round all the family, including his kids and ex-wife. They all thought I was calling to wish them a Happy Hogmanay. Instead I had to reduce them all to tears. Absolutely horrific.

All I'd say is don't beat yourself up over the odd beer, or even the odd half dozen beers. But don't even have a bottle of spirits in the house.

Respect to all on this thread for posting

 

[BBassic]

Able to do or want to do?

I think I’m perfectly capable of going perma-dry, having had over 200 consecutive dry days earlier this year, but I don’t want to.

I’m now considerably more selective as to when I drink. I’ve broken the “sitting at home, I'll have a few drinks” cycle that I was firmly stuck in previously.

Oh, it's definitely want to do. But in my head that auto-corrects to 'able to' as if I didn't want to I'd be able to forgo a drink. It's weird head logistics.

I'm in very much the same position as you I think. Drinking isn't something that just happens now; planned is the wrong word, but it's a planned activity for me.

 

[Bry Nylon]

Nearly 5 months alcohol free now. Approaching my most testing time of the week now as a few cold beers watching MoTD were the beers I probably enjoyed most.

Lemonade it is.

 

[Bozza]

Nearly 5 months alcohol free now. Approaching my most testing time of the week now as a few cold beers watching MoTD were the beers I probably enjoyed most.

Lemonade it is.

Only this morning I was wondering when this thread would be updated again.

Great effort on the five months!

For the first time since 2018 I drank at home for four nights in a row, Tue - Fti this week. Last night I only had a small glass of wine and two beers but I still woke up later than intended, feeling a bit groggy and felt like I was chasing the day with much to do.

I’m out tonight at a gathering where I’m the only one of nine adults not drinking - I just didn’t fancy anything tonight, additionally I want to be fresh to attack the day early tomorrow morning.

My thoughts have already turned to next year and if I’ll go AF to start the year again and, if I do, would I try to better this year’s 205 day streak. I’m not sure currently...

 

[thedonkeycentrehalf]

Still off the booze - middle of August was my last alcoholic drink. Been into pubs virtually every week since but still not getting any urge to go back to the beer.

 

[Pogue Mahone]

I have settled into being a Friday and Saturday evening drinker - and I never drink as much as I used to on those evenings. I haven't felt remotely 'pissed' for ages.

I go to a lot of gigs (WH Lung tonight ) and I always used to drink quite heavily at these. I never have a drink at a gig now, meaning I can drive to them, and my memory of them is better. And at a time when I am watching the finances, the savings are pretty substantial.

But I have no desire to give up alcohol completely.

 

[Lush]

My thoughts have already turned to next year and if I’ll go AF to start the year again and, if I do, would I try to better this year’s 205 day streak. I’m not sure currently...

In the AA Recovery programme, their mantra is "just for today" IE "today I choose not to drink."

Probably an easier way to think about it, and you can start any time, as there's no major goal to try and white-knuckle your way towards and past.

 

[essbee1]

My Dad had to give up cider for health reasons and hasn't drunk for over 5 years.

He said something interesting which is that, to him, alcohol when he smells it now reminds him of the smell of
poison. I guess that's true and says it all.

 

[Happy Exile]

Yesterday was 100 days without alcohol for me. I'm not going to evangelise and try and convince anyone else to do the same but I will say it's been transformative for me. I've looked at this thread a few times along the way and found it inspirational and a great support, so thank you to all who have posted at any time. Here's some of my story in the hope it helps someone else at some point.

When I first mentioned on here that I'd stopped drinking I said I'd had a grim year and that's true: in the space of a few months I lost a parent after a long illness, and two friends, one to cancer and one suddenly to a heart attack. I've spent evening after evening and weekend after weekend on hospital visits while my partner, who is great in so many ways, doesn't seem to have been able to talk to me about any of it and has appeared to implicitly expect me to carry on at home as if nothing has happened, picking up all the same chores without any respite, taking all the same responsibilities as before just cramming them into fewer and fewer hours. There's no blame ascribed in that, any failure to articulate what I need is mine, not hers. Less important but there's also been a major restructure at work involving redundancy for some of the team, and our house has required extensive and ongoing renovation after burst water pipes which is a huge and disruptive and dispiriting job and there's been so much more requiring my focus as well. I can't really think of anything positive at all to take out of this year.

By summer I was crushed by it all, simply put. The constant succession of loss hit me very hard and still does at times, ambushing me from nowhere. At the Valencia game the rendition of Sussex by the Sea was impossible to hear and remain unaffected because of what had happened earlier that day and is now forever associated with one moment for me, and even sat at work this morning I found myself suddenly on the verge of tears just because the photo of someone lost popped up in an annoying Google photos archive reminder. So that, and then the constant battles and being pulled in so many directions and all the relentless insecure and ambiguous situations were too much and I was in a very dark place mentally, feeling no escape or outlet from the months and months of emotional, physical and mental burdens that only seemed to be getting greater with no breathing time or space for myself at all.

Without being dramatic, when it goes wrong for me it's a steep and sudden decline. I understand depression and have sought professional help before, but this time took it on myself knowing some of the advice I'd get about changes to make, and stopping drinking was the start of that because I've read enough to know it's role as a depressant and had just about awareness still to identify it might help me handle things better.

I'm not surprised I was drinking so much to get away from everything, but I now look back at my first post in this thread and don't recognise myself. Or rather, I don't recognise the attitude that didn't realise there was a problem greater than I was ready to acknowledge. Generally I'm pretty self-aware and my greatest critic, and I'm big on constant self-development, and while obviously I knew enough to realise alcohol wasn't helping I don't know how I let it get to that low point to begin with. Ashamed is too strong a word, but I'm definitely disappointed with myself for not spotting the signs earlier and I'm resolved to not let it happen again. I can say too that stopping drinking has worked wonders for my state of mind.

So many changes are tangible. Things I never thought were a problem before I'm now seeing how they were issues. Clarity of thought for example...I never thought I struggled, same with concentration...I never thought I had a problem until I realised how much better it can be. It feels like I've got my ambition back too and the things that used to stress me don't do so as much anymore and I'm generally just more balanced and positive.

It's also really clear I credited alcohol with far too much in the good times I had and didn't blame it anywhere near enough for the bad times.

So 100 days yesterday, 101 days today. At the moment I have no inclination to drink again and Christmas and parties don't alarm me in part because I don't want to feel like I did in the summer again.

I said I wouldn't evangelise and I won't, but if you're thinking of stopping then I'd recommend giving it a go, and I hope that by giving some of my story it helps someone in the same way the stories of others on here have helped me and I can give back a little. And that's what I want to say really, above all, thank you to everyone who has posted on this thread and to NSC as a whole. It's genuinely a special place with some great people.

As a last comment - really ask your mates if they're OK (mine did), and be honest with them (I wasn't). There's no shame in admitting you need help.

 

[Bozza]

Yesterday was 100 days without alcohol for me. I'm not going to evangelise and try and convince anyone else to do the same but I will say it's been transformative for me. I've looked at this thread a few times along the way and found it inspirational and a great support, so thank you to all who have posted at any time. Here's some of my story in the hope it helps someone else at some point.

What a wonderful post - thank you so much for contributing. There's much of what you wrote than I can very much relate to.

I'm so sorry that you've had such a rough journey, but the positive is how you are coming out the other side that much stronger in all ways.

Good luck in continuing to fight the good fight.

 

[Bry Nylon]

Yesterday was 100 days without alcohol for me. I'm not going to evangelise and try and convince anyone else to do the same but I will say it's been transformative for me. I've looked at this thread a few times along the way and found it inspirational and a great support, so thank you to all who have posted at any time. Here's some of my story in the hope it helps someone else at some point.

When I first mentioned on here that I'd stopped drinking I said I'd had a grim year and that's true: in the space of a few months I lost a parent after a long illness, and two friends, one to cancer and one suddenly to a heart attack. I've spent evening after evening and weekend after weekend on hospital visits while my partner, who is great in so many ways, doesn't seem to have been able to talk to me about any of it and has appeared to implicitly expect me to carry on at home as if nothing has happened, picking up all the same chores without any respite, taking all the same responsibilities as before just cramming them into fewer and fewer hours. There's no blame ascribed in that, any failure to articulate what I need is mine, not hers. Less important but there's also been a major restructure at work involving redundancy for some of the team, and our house has required extensive and ongoing renovation after burst water pipes which is a huge and disruptive and dispiriting job and there's been so much more requiring my focus as well. I can't really think of anything positive at all to take out of this year.

By summer I was crushed by it all, simply put. The constant succession of loss hit me very hard and still does at times, ambushing me from nowhere. At the Valencia game the rendition of Sussex by the Sea was impossible to hear and remain unaffected because of what had happened earlier that day and is now forever associated with one moment for me, and even sat at work this morning I found myself suddenly on the verge of tears just because the photo of someone lost popped up in an annoying Google photos archive reminder. So that, and then the constant battles and being pulled in so many directions and all the relentless insecure and ambiguous situations were too much and I was in a very dark place mentally, feeling no escape or outlet from the months and months of emotional, physical and mental burdens that only seemed to be getting greater with no breathing time or space for myself at all.

Without being dramatic, when it goes wrong for me it's a steep and sudden decline. I understand depression and have sought professional help before, but this time took it on myself knowing some of the advice I'd get about changes to make, and stopping drinking was the start of that because I've read enough to know it's role as a depressant and had just about awareness still to identify it might help me handle things better.

I'm not surprised I was drinking so much to get away from everything, but I now look back at my first post in this thread and don't recognise myself. Or rather, I don't recognise the attitude that didn't realise there was a problem greater than I was ready to acknowledge. Generally I'm pretty self-aware and my greatest critic, and I'm big on constant self-development, and while obviously I knew enough to realise alcohol wasn't helping I don't know how I let it get to that low point to begin with. Ashamed is too strong a word, but I'm definitely disappointed with myself for not spotting the signs earlier and I'm resolved to not let it happen again. I can say too that stopping drinking has worked wonders for my state of mind.

So many changes are tangible. Things I never thought were a problem before I'm now seeing how they were issues. Clarity of thought for example...I never thought I struggled, same with concentration...I never thought I had a problem until I realised how much better it can be. It feels like I've got my ambition back too and the things that used to stress me don't do so as much anymore and I'm generally just more balanced and positive.

It's also really clear I credited alcohol with far too much in the good times I had and didn't blame it anywhere near enough for the bad times.

So 100 days yesterday, 101 days today. At the moment I have no inclination to drink again and Christmas and parties don't alarm me in part because I don't want to feel like I did in the summer again.

I said I wouldn't evangelise and I won't, but if you're thinking of stopping then I'd recommend giving it a go, and I hope that by giving some of my story it helps someone in the same way the stories of others on here have helped me and I can give back a little. And that's what I want to say really, above all, thank you to everyone who has posted on this thread and to NSC as a whole. It's genuinely a special place with some great people.

As a last comment - really ask your mates if they're OK (mine did), and be honest with them (I wasn't). There's no shame in admitting you need help.

What a fantastic and generous post. Takes guts to post all that up. I couldn't do it.

And finally...

As a last comment - really ask your mates if they're OK (mine did), and be honest with them (I wasn't). There's no shame in admitting you need help.

The best bit of advice ever on NSC, and resonates with me, that's for sure.

Good luck Happy Exile. And thanks.

 

[Bozza]

This caught my eye today - 99p special for the Kindle version.

I'm going to risk that money and give it a read as the reviews are pretty good: https://amzn.to/2r7PpdS

 

[thedonkeycentrehalf]

With the festive season we’ll under way, how are all those of you who have been avoiding drink getting on? Not having any trouble keeping off the drink but finding a whole new set of questions and comments now such as “but it’s Christmas, surely you’ll have a drink now” or people now deciding that I must be hiding a medical issue as I’m still not drinking.

 

[Bry Nylon]

With the festive season we’ll under way, how are all those of you who have been avoiding drink getting on? Not having any trouble keeping off the drink but finding a whole new set of questions and comments now such as “but it’s Christmas, surely you’ll have a drink now” or people now deciding that I must be hiding a medical issue as I’m still not drinking.

Still going fine here. I feel quite comfortable telling people that I don't drink and everybody just accepts it without question. In fact all they tend to say is, "oh - I thought you were looking well."

It's been 6 months or so now and no plans to drink again.

 

[Happy Exile]

With the festive season we’ll under way, how are all those of you who have been avoiding drink getting on? Not having any trouble keeping off the drink but finding a whole new set of questions and comments now such as “but it’s Christmas, surely you’ll have a drink now” or people now deciding that I must be hiding a medical issue as I’m still not drinking.

This is exactly my experience! Work Christmas parties were fine, but currently with elderly relatives where a bottle of wine accompanies every dinner and Christmas is unthinkable without it. Not finding it hard to say no, but I've had the "but it's Christmas," and they've now finally rationalised it to themselves with the assumption I must be ill and not telling them.

Had a laugh to myself that despite a meal where my not drinking was the central topic of questioning and conversation for them I was still offered an array of wine, spirits and beer afterwards. It was well meaning, but such is the incredulity someone could choose not to drink at Christmas it was assumed it must be fussiness at their wine selection and I was too polite. Declining this is why they've decided I'm ill!

Good luck to everyone enduring similar!

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

That reminds me from The Royals when Antony introduces his new girlfriend.

Emma's reply of 'no thank you I'm a vegetarian', sparks an 'ooooh' from Denise, speechlessness from Jim and Dave and what has become one of the favourite sitcom moments of all time.

Barbara asks if she can have Dairylea, before nana asks 'what is she? oooh, you can have a bit of cheese though?'

"Oh, Emma that's a shame for you," she says, before asking: "Can she have wafer thin ham, Barbara?"

 

[Marty___Mcfly]

Wow that’s one year done without drink- went quickly! Looks like I was spending about £4K per year on booze which is now money in my pocket.

Happy days, and I’ll save the same again next year as I can’t see me going back to it.

Best of luck to anyone doing dry January, or planning a longer break

 

[Bry Nylon]

Wow that’s one year done without drink- went quickly! Looks like I was spending about £4K per year on booze which is now money in my pocket.

Happy days, and I’ll save the same again next year as I can’t see me going back to it.

Best of luck to anyone doing dry January, or planning a longer break

Well done! I'm just about 6 months AF and was pleasantly surprised how easy it was to navigate Christmas without slipping. Like you, I can't envisage going back to it.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Would like to at least attempt Dry January. But with Chelsea at the Amex NYD? Never going to happen