Albion in World Cup Swoop?

[El Presidente]

From the Argus

Gus Poyet has confirmed that he may still be looking abroad to find the three missing pieces in his Albion 2010-11 jigsaw, including some possible World Cup stars.

However before Albion fans start looking dreamily at pictures of Ronaldo, Kaka and Ozil, the players being considered were fringe members of lesser known teams.

The Argus understands that the list includes a striker, a central defender and a wide man.

Included in Poyet, assisted by his right hand man Mauricio Taricco, have been scouring the list of available players that have starred in the South Africa football extravaganza.

“The big problem with some players is wages”, said Poyet, “their agents think that just because they have played at the World Cup they can double or treble their current salaries by coming to Brighton”

“I will not be held to ransom by agents, and neither will the chairman”

The Argus can exclusively reveal some of the players being considered by Gus, although negotiations are still very tentative

Pro Pah Bo (FC Pyong Yang Tractor Production Statistics): Nippy North Korean striker with 34 caps, who according to the local newspaper, the People’s Daily, scored 17 goals in 7 matches and was awarded the golden boot in World Cup 2010. Was player of the season for his club in 2010 and was given a new bucket for his efforts by Our Dear Leader, Kim Jung Ill.

Andre Andre Ariba (Speedy Gonzalez Rovers), Honduran winger with 17 caps who is more commonly known by his nickname Stinky, won plaudits from observers by the way he won three consecutive throw ins against Spain in the group game in Port Elizabeth.

There is a slight concern about his two convictions for drug smuggling ecstasy tablets but his manager says he always plays with a smile on his face.

Dennis ‘Smeggy’ Smegson (Smegma City of Copenhagen), Rugged Danish central defender with 46 caps who once beat Colin Hawkins in a game of Scrabble.

Keen to play in the England according to his Facebook page to keep up the family tradition of raping and pillaging.

Miriam de Santos Est Est Est Fullova Mitigoodness (Bicurious of Santos), more commonly known by his shorter name of Nigel. Originally spotted on a children’s talent contest playing keepy-uppy with the family guinea pig, and former girlfriend of Kaka.

Won Brazil’s best Brazilian contest in 2007 after sculpting her minge into a picture of Bez from The Happy Mondays and took the first prize of gender realignment and now sports a tackle and two veg that makes Dion Dublin look like a eunuch.

Uncapped, but by all accounts has a mouth that sucks like a Dyson and that impressed the Brazilian coach Dunga when picking the squad.

 

[Marshy]

The only thing wrong about this thread is that Easy didnt post it..

 

[Gritt23]

There is no higher award than that of a bucket from Kim Jung Ill, he MUST be good, sign him up NOW!

 

[Blue and White Tiger]

4/10

 

[manilaseagull]

Twat......I read and believed that up to the words GOLDEN BOOT

 

[Tooting Gull]

Very good. Excellent use of half an hour.

 

[Questions]

The only thing wrong about this thread is that Easy didnt post it..

and the fact that its not funny.

 

[EastbourneGull]

Well I thought it was funny.

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

I loved Pro Pah Bo and Bicurious of Santos

 

[Was not Was]

Top stuff. ROFL, etc.

And I'm glad to see that the worries of the Higher Ed funding crisis haven't reduced your sense of humour.

 

[El Presidente]

Very good. Excellent use of half an hour.

I had to have something to keep me occupied in exam board

 

[Easy 10]

"Miriam de Santos Est Est Est Fullova Mitigoodness"


Marvellous.

 

[Perry Milkins]

"Miriam de Santos Est Est Est Fullova Mitigoodness"


Marvellous.

why land Miriam with the name Nigel?

 

[glasfryn]

7/10

 

[turienzo's lovechild]

source?

 

[El Presidente]

why land Miriam with the name Nigel?

I blame the parents

 

[Sheebo]

0.1 / 10

 

[ElkieB]

Typical of the Argus to take an interview out of context and reveal Gus' possible signings. Now you can see both Southampton and Swindon trying to hyjack moves for any of these.

 

[Brovion]

Well I think they're all going to be EXCELLENT additions to the squad. Ok, I know some of the fantasists on this board would have preferred it if we had signed Kaka, but come on people, get real. I think this North Korean especially sounds useful - and he's the Golden Boot winner!

Off to get their names tattooed on my forehead now ...