[Help] Advice required - Dating a “Lateral thinker”

[Southern Scouse]

Ok, I just wondered if anyone here, being the font of all knowledge, could offer some help either as a “ Lateral thinker” or someone who has a partner who is.
This is not just the odd occasion, this is about someone who could be autistic or has Asperger’s. I have no knowledge of this field at all. After a divorce, this is my first proper relationship in two years, and this is very important to me. Problem is, we get along as though we have been together for years, but she questions everything and takes everything literally. I made a mistake of getting the dates wrong over something that happened 35 years ago... and I had to spend hours convincing her it was a mistake. She has a near photographic memory and seems to check things I have said in the past. There is no malice, but it’s difficult to be thinking about everything you are going to say, all the time.
I’ve done some research and this constant literal thinking could be related to autism/ Aspergers. This lady is a very intelligent, success person...
So if anyone has any similar experience they’d like to share let me know on here or PM me, it’s much appreciated.

 

[Nitram]

Unless you are considering dating a man this sounds like par for the course.

 

[timco]

I made a mistake of getting the dates wrong over something that happened 35 years ago... and I had to spend hours convincing her it was a mistake. She has a near photographic memory and seems to check things I have said in the past. There is no malice, but it’s difficult to be thinking about everything you are going to say, all the time..

Sounds like any relationship with any female ever too me!

 

[knocky1]

I hope she doesn't find out that you used lateral instead of literal in the thread title.

 

[RandyWanger]

I was reading that thinking you were talking about my wench.

 

[Withdean11]

My advice would be to take her to Vegas.

 

[Bean]

Get rid

 

[Southern Scouse]

I hope she doesn't find out that you used lateral instead of literal in the thread title.

Omg.... cannot change the title....

 

[Blue Valkyrie]

Ok, I just wondered if anyone here, being the font of all knowledge, could offer some help either as a “ Lateral thinker” or someone who has a partner who is.
This is not just the odd occasion, this is about someone who could be autistic or has Asperger’s. I have no knowledge of this field at all. After a divorce, this is my first proper relationship in two years, and this is very important to me. Problem is, we get along as though we have been together for years, but she questions everything and takes everything literally. I made a mistake of getting the dates wrong over something that happened 35 years ago... and I had to spend hours convincing her it was a mistake. She has a near photographic memory and seems to check things I have said in the past. There is no malice, but it’s difficult to be thinking about everything you are going to say, all the time.
I’ve done some research and this constant literal thinking could be related to autism/ Aspergers. This lady is a very intelligent, success person...
So if anyone has any similar experience they’d like to share let me know on here or PM me, it’s much appreciated.

Sounds like a world of future pain

Get rid

This.

 

[astralavi]

How would she respond if you said it is raining cats and dogs?

 

[Garry Nelson's teacher]

Apologies if this sounds very superficial but you could do worse than watch 'The Bridge' where the main character, Saga, seems to fall into this category. (If your partner looks like her, I think the relationship might well be worth some investment.)

 

[Giraffe]

I wouldn't freak out about it too much. I think it's natural to be more worried when you get remarried as fear of failure increases but as others have all said all women (and no doubt men) have their failings and yours doesn't sound a whole lot different to others. It sounds like though you might need to think before you speak a little more though than with some though!

In general I'd say it is a good thing. She is probably more man like in her logic I suspect. Very black and white.

 

[KZNSeagull]

Well if you want to find out whether they may be autistic, look up the traditional triad of impairments and see whether they have any of the traits listed there. Taking things literally is an autistic trait, but on it's own does not make someone autistic. It is also a trait of OCD for example. Even if they are autistic there is no cure and considering that they appear to have got to middle age without one, a diagnosis may be of limited value particularly if this behaviour does not bother her. She may be able to get help in changing certain behaviour if she wants to, but she may not want to. What seems normal to a non-autistic person may seem abnormal to an autistic person and vice-versa. Does this behaviour bother her?

Whilst not belittling your predicament and not wishing to be harsh, it may be that it is you that is going to have to learn to live with it. You will have to be very careful what you say. My autistic son picks up on everything that we say and will remember things that we have long forgotten. He can also be very literal. You cannot break a promise with him. You cannot say you are going to do something at 3pm and then not do it at exactly 3pm, for example. You cannot use a new expression without explaining exactly what it means eg "so and so lives on Front Street" - my sons response: "why don't they live in a house?" (I have not made that up!). It is hard work sometimes, but also very rewarding.

 

[Chicken Run]

I bet she’s great in bed though?

 

[Notters]

This is RIPE for an [MENTION=1416]Ernest[/MENTION] thread.

 

[Tyrone Biggums]

Watch Star Trek, might be Vulcan or an Android called Data.

 

[Munkfish]

To be honest, it sounds like she has probably been with liars in the past and isnt very trusting.

If you are spending time now trying to reassure her over something that happened 35 years ago, thats only cause you more and more stress in the long run.

If she is really worth it, surely its best to try and have a convesation about it and address the issue before it causes more and more conflict.

If all else fails, drop a box of matches and ask her how many are in there, then you will have your answer.

 

[studio150]

Sounds like Rain Man where Dustin Hoffman stops crossing the road half way across as the red light says don't walk.

Must be very draining

 

[Wrong-Direction]

Hang on, has she just moved in with me?

Sent from my SM-A310F using Tapatalk

 

[Return of the Rev]

Apologies if this sounds very superficial but you could do worse than watch 'The Bridge' where the main character, Saga, seems to fall into this category. (If your partner looks like her, I think the relationship might well be worth some investment.)

This.