ADHD and Aspergers, Medication

[BadFish]

Hi all,

My oldest boy (7) has ADHD and is in the process of being diagnosed for Aspergers. We have had him on a strict additive free diet for a couple of years which has held his ADHD at bay pretty well.

Recently it has taken a huge hold of him. The is an almost constant stream of hateful bile pouring out of his mouth toward any one individual who has (by his perception) wronged him at that time. Often this defaults to his sister. No matter what we do he cannot stop!

obviously this is causing huge social problems for him especially at school where he is developing a reputation as a really horrible little boy. We know that he is wonderful, funny and full of love but we are seeing that side of him less and less.

My missus is on anti depressants and I think it might be time for me to get to the doctors as well. we have spent so much time trying to get to grips with his two conditions and help him through his tricky childhood but at the moment it all seems to be sliding away. the good days are getting fewer and further between.

We have an appointment next month and are on a cancellation list to see someone about medicating the ADHD. It is something that we have not wanted to do but he is having such a hard time at school that I don't think we have much choice but to try it.

He had his best (only) mate over for a sleep over last week and was pretty out of control the whole time. When I asked him if he had a great time he told me that being so out of control has spoilt the whole experience for him.

We are pretty set on trialing medication for him, does anyone have any experience?

Thanks for listening NSC and sorry for the bad spelling and grammar, i am on my phone and just got up!

 

[Worthingite]

Best of luck Badfish, I hope the treatments go well.

 

[BadFish]

Best of luck Badfish, I hope the treatments go well.

Thanks Worthingite. I appreciate it!

 

[Freddie Goodwin.]

Have you tried any self help groups online as there are so many who have simlar problems and sometimes it must just seem like you & Mrs against the World?

A few of my g/kids are on 'the spectrum' in varying degrees. I have a g/son who is now 10 and also has ADHD/Tourettes and has been a right pain at times and, being older, he realises this and tries so hard to be good.

He is now on some new medication which seems to be working for him. Each individual iss, of course, different and medication works in different ways but I will try and find out just what it is.

I saw him earlier this week and he has a Cup from school awarded for his courtesy, kindness & care so don't give up hope!

 

[crasher]

You might want to think about posting on this forum? Discussion forum

I'm sure there'll be good advice there.

Best of luck to you and your lad - from what I know of relatives with similar conditions dramatic improvements are possible.

 

[BadFish]

Have you tried any self help groups online as there are so many who have simlar problems and sometimes it must just seem like you & Mrs against the World?

A few of my g/kids are on 'the spectrum' in varying degrees. I have a g/son who is now 10 and also has ADHD/Tourettes and has been a right pain at times and, being older, he realises this and tries so hard to be good.

He is now on some new medication which seems to be working for him. Each individual iss, of course, different and medication works in different ways but I will try and find out just what it is.

I saw him earlier this week and he has a Cup from school awarded for his courtesy, kindness & care so don't give up hope!

Cheers Freddy. Yes we are involved with a couple of support groups but i think we need to get more involved.

It's peaks and troughs in this game and we are currently in a trough. We will keep at it and find something that works for him. Good on your grandson, top work!

My boy hasn't really hit that realisation of the link between his behviour/condition and the problems he is experiencing.

 

[severnside gull]

I've spent mch of the last fifteen years working with Aspergers and linked conditions.
Emotional and Behavioural Difficulties (EBD's) are among the hardest to cope with and as they are invariably (although not universally) combined with ADHD they are inevitably massively wearing on carers and family in particular. Of course there are techniques for self spport which you (and your daughter in particular) can practice and finding things that work for you and can put you more in control and less defensive is vital. Techniques such as fogging and broken record can be found on the internet and with practice can be used to deflect challenging verbal behaviours and reduce situations that develop into physical conflict. There are some basic "take down techniqyues you can all learn from any martial arts class that will help you if you do experience violence (some/many but not all do). Take the whole family including your son to tae kwan do or judo classes. It will help you all and the discipline of a matrtial art will help him in controlling his behaviour too. You need to spend as much effort if not more on supporting each other as you do on your son. Easy to say and hard to do but it needs to be a primary focus for you all if you are going to be able to help him to develop to his maximum.

People with Aspergers will go through periods when their antisocial behaviour spikes and it is often linked to normal developmental growth spurts. That means you will have (possibly protracted) periods that are pretty tough but equally you will get quiet periods when it feels like progress and improvement is really possible. My experience is that Aspergers is a lifelong condition but it is at its worst in youth and adolescence. Aspergers sufferers need time and patience to reach the point where they can interact more effectively with the world. The good news is that as they get older (post twenty - and yes I do know how far off that feels) behaviour tends to settle and normalise as they adjust to the world around them. High functioning autistic disorders aren't well understood and they are not easy to work with but you will possibly have found that your lad probably doesn't always respond to emotional and social stimuli in a "normal" way. Hard as it may sound the best way to handle that "difference" is to treat time interacting with him when he is being particularly challenging as much as you can as "Work". Being as dispassionate as possible and withdrawing his ability to challenge and hurt you emotionally will make it easier to help him and will hurt you less.

Depending on age and specific behaviours there are drugs which will help - ritalin and respiridone and fluoxetine are among those most commonly used and they can be effective to varying degrees in masking behavioural issues. If you can get the support of a doctor (or still better access to a specialist learning disability psychiatric service) and IF you can get a formal diagnosis you will have done supremely well. Funding follows diagnosis and with funds being short to non-existence you may well find that you have a massive fight on your hands just to get his conddition recognised and to access support. This part of the "jumping through hoops" process that the NHS (and particularly mental health service) has become can be frustrating and challenging and incredibly time consuming but it can also be therepeutic! Some people prefer not to follow the route of "chemical intervention. I understand that view but from experience I would always suggest that for both the Aspergers sufferer and their carers it can be a boon and often offers the only effective means to manage and make any sort of progress.
You will encounter problems at school obviously and putting pressure on the Education Psychiatric and Welfare services is an important route for support. To access these you will need to work on the school hierarchy and try to get them onside. Schools will too often try to employ shortcuts - sitting at the back of class/exclusion from class/exclusion from school. Resist these and try to get 1:1 support - unlikely but not impossible to obtain and worth the fight. Resist special schools please, at this stage anyway!

Enriol your son in craft classes, animal care if practical, engage him in gardening. Tasks requiring hand-eye co-ordination and tasks with a tangible physical outcome (knitting/painting/willow work/making pretty much anything) will be beneficial.
Does any of this help? I don't know but hope so.

You have already taken the biggest single step you can in adjusting diet (I have a book on ADHD and diet which I will gladly send you if you DM me your address). Try good quality fish oil capsules - they take time to work (months) but they really do help with focus and helping the young person to engage. There are also homeopathic medicines which some people say help - I've found plumbum (need to see a good homeopathist) to be effective and Bach's remedy (available from any chemist) can help. Try to identify any food allergies or intolerancies, minimise processed foods and sugars and e-numbers (especially in soft drinks and sweets). Offer natural fruits as treats. Be harsh to be fair to him and avoid treating yourself and your daughter (hard for her but it will help avoid conflict).

Minimise television time and electronic games - these are (in my experience) potentially harmful for all sorts of reasons that I would happily discuss at greater length - it's a hobby horse of mine.

Consider getting a big fluffy labrador puppy - young people with Aspergers sometimes relate better to pets than to other people and can draw some comfort from a relationship with them.

You have a long joourney ahead and as I have said, making it to some degree a job of work can both empower you as a family rather than you being victims, and help your son. Look after yourselves first and foremost though and look for support groups for yourself, your wife, and your daughter - the more you all understand of your son's disability and the more help you have the more you can manage , cope, and help him.

Drop me a line if reading some literature might help and take care.

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

Should know that, despite the media hype, the fact is that Ritalin has proved to be a highly effective treatment for true ADHD. It's a class A for recreational use because it has the opposite effect on those without the condition as for those with.

I have a lot of experience on the Aspergers front and the key there is socialisation (drama, music..sport if possible although a lot of Aspergers kids are dyspraxic too) the fact is you will never get him to the point where he can do anything like that while he is bouncing off the frigging walls.

Don't despair mate, look after your missus and your kid by getting him treated and taking the strain off her. You won't regret it. Good luck fella. The fact you are at the end of your tether tells me you have really thought it through. Time to do the right thing.

 

[BadFish]

Thanks for your replies. I am taking them all to the park then to football. Exercise and socialising are very impportant. I will read through the more involved posts later on.

Thanks again.

 

[oldalbiongirl]

This may sound a bit odd but have you tried osteopathy? I work with young children and twice now I have had parents say that they have been to an osteopath and this has really worked with severe behavioural difficulties. I cant say from personal experience but always think anything is worth a try. There is an osteopath in Seaford that specialises in this sort of thing I believe. May be worth a try for you if you are worried about medication.

 

[bn1&bn3 Albion]

I don't know a great deal about either of these conditions but I'd make sure no one at school or anywhere else is giving him sweets or anything with additives.

 

[BadFish]

I don't know a great deal about either of these conditions but I'd make sure no one at school or anywhere else is giving him sweets or anything with additives.

We are on a completely additive free diet. Everyone at school knows not to give him anything without our permission!! He is also really good at not accepting anything from anyone. We are the difficult additive nazi parents at his school

I can say that we have been additive and salicylate free for a couple of year now and it has made a huge difference.

 

[BadFish]

This may sound a bit odd but have you tried osteopathy? I work with young children and twice now I have had parents say that they have been to an osteopath and this has really worked with severe behavioural difficulties. I cant say from personal experience but always think anything is worth a try. There is an osteopath in Seaford that specialises in this sort of thing I believe. May be worth a try for you if you are worried about medication.

I will look this up this afternoon and see if i can find someone local. We are in Australia so seaford is a bit far to go

 

[BadFish]

Thanks again for the advice and support. I am watching him play with his brother AND sister right now like the perfect big brother. This after yesterday is quite amazing!!

 

[BadFish]

Just though I would update this thread:

We have had my son on Ritalin for just over a week now and the changes it have made have been astounding to say the least.

He is able to cope with problems at school and is able to access all the strategies we have been teaching him over the last couple of years. It was describe to me like he suddenly has everything filed instead of being randomly stuffed into a draw and he can access what he needs at the appropriate time.

He is visibly calmer and the stress, anger and frustration are gone from his face (most of the time!). He looks like a little boy again.

He can concentrate on projects or books for much longer now and can amuse himself more easily that before. He keeps talking about "not being bored anymore".

He is getting on with his brother and sister so much better and we can play games together without it descending into an argument after two minutes.

We even went out for a relaxing coffee and then lunch on Saturday which we haven't done for months and months.

Our house has a relaxed atmosphere in it and everyone is calmer, we are feeling like we can operate as other families do.

Thanks for all the replies and advice on this thread, I can't tell you how much it helped me get through a really rough patch in our lives. I continue to look into all the advice given but now with a real feeling that things are going to work out for us. I know there will be bumps in the road and more tough times but right now I am enjoying my children like never before.

Thanks again everybody. Sometimes NSC is a wonderful place.

 

[Binney on acid]

This is fantastic news. I'm delighted for you all.

 

[BadFish]

This is fantastic news. I'm delighted for you all.

ta!

 

[Janbha]

i love this site sometimes , good luck for the future .

 

[Wardy]

Glad to hear it is working out mate. One of my friends daughters as aspergers and from what she tells me it is hell at times. Sure you are aware but you can claim Disability Living Allowance for the condition. Though it is not a lot of money in itself it does help as well as opening up other avenues of help free of charge. In addition if you are on any sort of benefits it will increase the amount you get, including child tax credits. There is light at the end of the tunnel. My friends daughter is about to start a residential course at college doing agriculture and photography two things see loves.

Good luck and I hope it works out for you all.

 

[Lady Gull]

Cool that's great news - just make sure he eats properly as a friend of mine's child on Ritalin lost his appetite and lost loads of weight - so just keep your eye on that from the start - other than that their lives changed for the better too - having doors and architrave attached to the house was one bonus of the medication!!!!

Keep smiling xxxxx