A thread full of Alan Partridge

[the full harris]

That was Big Yellow Taxi by Joni Mitchell, a song in which Joni complains they
‘Paved paradise to put up a parking lot’, a measure which actually would have alleviated traffic
congestion on the outskirts of paradise, something which Joni singularly fails to point out,
perhaps because it doesn’t quite fit in with her blinkered view of the world. Nevertheless,
nice song. It’s 4:35am, you’re listening to ‘Up With The Partridge’.










I just want to be able to say "I’m Alan Partridge. Join me tonight when my guests will be," I don’t know, "Chris Rea".
Actually, he lives in the area. I could have had him over.
"Alright Chris!",
"Hello Alan I didn’t know you’d moved in",
"Yeah, just moved in, last week. I’m having a barbecue, fancy coming over?",
"I’d love to! Do you mind if I bring my guitar?",
"I’d rather you didn’t, it’s not that kind of area."
"Do you like Mini Kiev’s?",
"I love them! But my wife’s vegetarian",
"Doesn’t matter. She can have fish",
"No she won’t eat that either",
"Oh forget it!". You people. Go on, Lynn. These people are starting to annoy me.

 

[Muzzman]

Back of the net!

 

[magoo]

AND ON THAT BOMBSHELL.......

 

[SussexSpur]

Just some late night soccer results here.

Division two:
Sheffield Bonanza 1, Dynamo Abadair 4.

Manchester Coherent 2, Jill Morrell 2.

And the Scottish division one game between Taste of Dunfermline and Strathcarnage - cannot be stopped.

Good night.

 

[Caveman]

Diddle-de-de-de
Three ladies,
Diddle-de-de-de
Three ladies,
Diddle-de-de-de
And i'm the only man...it's three on one!

 

[Tommy Cook reporting]

On asking Jill out: "Jill, I know a cracking owl sanctuary"

On discussing contraception with Jill: "Actually Jill, seeing your age and everything, there's probably no need"

While having sex with Jill: "Jill, what d'you think about the pedestrianisation of Norwich City centre?"

etc. etc. etc. Actually, I think I'll go and watch an episode now....


And remember folks: "White City pyrotechnics are run by twits, and there's one over there. And he's got a girls name!"

 

[alan partridge]

we're going to get a curly cumberland sausage from the liddle bitty chef (the little chef)

 

[Shizuoka Dolphin]

"I think the most humane method would be death by firing squad..."