a thread ful of Chilean miner recue jokes..

[surrey jim]

Is anyone making sure that the American rescue team don't throw a grenade down the mine?

 

[alan partridge]

I'm not keen on the minors now they've gone mainstream. I liked them better when they were underground

 

[alan partridge]

THE first of the trapped Chilean miners brought to the surface have admitted that four of their colleagues were delicious.

The jubilant miners hugged their families and shouted for joy before quietly informing the rescuers they would only need to do 29 trips.

Florencio Avalos, trapped for 64 days, said: "We were just going to keep quiet about it and hope no-one noticed. 'Oh no, there was only 29 of us, why would you think there was 33?'. But we kind of realised you had probably been through the list a couple of times.

"Then we thought about saying they were eaten by a dragon, but then there would be this whole big dragon finding expedition and when it came back empty handed eventually someone would start asking lots of awkward questions. Particularly as we've all gained a bit of weight.

"So eventually we thought, best just to come clean straight away so everyone can move on with their lives and we need never speak of it again."

Bolivian Carlos Mamani added: "All we had was these biscuits. After the first 12 hours I was like, 'these are just rubbish' and so I hit Manuel over the head with a big rock and made some sausages.

"It's okay, he was a terrible racist."

Mamani said the other three dishes were all racist child molesters who stole food and water and had eventually begged to be made into stew, burgers and a really lovely slow-roasted shift supervisor.

"The sense of unity and togetherness down there was amazing. No-one said 'this is too spicy for me' or 'I don't like chins', we all just eat who was put in front of us."

He added: "I would like Tobey Maguire to play me in the film please."

aren't jokes meant to contain some kind of humour in them?

 

[arfer guinness]

Nothing to do with the miners, but heard one on the radio that amused me. Sign at John Lennon airport in Liverpool states "Above us only sky" to which has been added below us only Wolves and West Ham.

 

[Nibble]

dire, dire jokes. I thought this would have produced much better but alas, just shite.

 

[Acker79]

Nothing to do with the miners, but heard one on the radio that amused me. Sign at John Lennon airport in Liverpool states "Above us only sky" to which has been added below us only Wolves and West Ham.

VANDALS deface John Lennon statue at Liverpool airport. - North Stand Chat

 

[The Ringleader Returns!]

Chilean miner making love to his wife for first time since release . . . .

Miner:'Can we switch the lights off?'
Wife:'Of course honey'
Miner:'Can I have you from behind?'
Wife:'Anything you want my brave boy'
Miner'OK, can I call you Pedro? . . . . . '

 

[hitony]

dire, dire jokes. I thought this would have produced much better but alas, just shite.

Thank you for your contribution.......brilliant stuff!!!

 

[minnieme]

Seems they think they are celebrities already, wearing sunglasses when it is still dark.

 

[Football_Friends]

Nobody tell me if the last miner made it out alive.....I'm going to wait for the film.

Gets coat (north face btw)

 

[chez]

What have George Michael and the Miners got in common.

Both were realeased when their holes were made bigger.

 

[jharris]

I'm glad the chaps got out all ok and were generally in good health, just a few miner injuries !

 

[El Presidente]

Just watching the news footage of those poor people getting rescued. Great to see the smiles back on their grubby little faces and faint glimmers of hope in their otherwise poverished and mundane lives.

I Still hope Everton beat them on Sunday though.

 

[footychick]

Just watching the news footage of those poor people getting rescued. Great to see the smiles back on their grubby little faces and faint glimmers of hope in their otherwise poverished and mundane lives.

I Still hope Everton beat them on Sunday though.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Just watching the news footage of those poor people getting rescued. Great to see the smiles back on their grubby little faces and faint glimmers of hope in their otherwise poverished and mundane lives.

I Still hope Everton beat them on Sunday though.

Good good