KZNSeagull
Well-known member
You know that strange thing that puppies do?
You know - they spread their back legs, concentrate and drag themselves across the floor with their front legs, their arse trailing behind them?
Why do they do that? What are they trying to achieve?
They give every indication of enjoyment - great big grin, tail wagging like a helicopter rotor, tongue lolling out and so-on.
It must have it's attractions so, in the spirit of academic research I thought I'd give it a go and see what all the fuss is about.
Well, it wasn't any fun at all, I can tell you. It ****ing hurt places you don't want to hurt.
Admittedly our dining room is covered with a great big coconut hair mat which amplified the chafing somewhat. Perhaps I should have left my underpants on.
Our dinner guests weren't particularly impressed either, the recently divorced MILF from next door left nearly all of her artisan liquid chocolate brownie, and Father O'Grady made his excuses half way through the soup course.
But I digress. Can you imagine the sheer agony of dragging your meat and two veg across a coconut fibre mat? The excruciating pain as your wife gently tweezes out the splinters that have embedded themselves in the top of your helmet whilst she's trying to watch 'First Dates' over your shoulder?
The throbbing rawness that persists around your Galdalf's hat for hours....days.....weeks.... after the experience?
What I'm trying to say is that it was possibly the most painful thing I have ever experienced.
Until I read yet another tedious whiny thread started by the OP.
Now, where did I leave my cheese grater?
Sent from Konnie Huq's lingerie drawer.
It's usually because they have worms. Rather apt I would say.