A SIMMO SAYS cycling tip for just one person

[Wrong-Direction]

Why the f*ck would people walk in cycle lanes?! looks like i'm gonna get through a fair amount of mirrors with some of you daisy sniffing mugs

 

[LamieRobertson]

I'm not buying you a drink on Saturday now

looooooool

 

[BadFish]

You are getting there, I'll simplify it for you.
If I regularly ignore the Highway Code, I WILL end up being fined and tot up penalty points, if I carry on I get a ban which renders me unable to drive legally. I will be persecuted off the road, and tbh, I would deserve that if I regularly disobeyed said rules. now, please explain what happens to a cyclist who regularly breaks the same rules ?

So drivers and cyclists act in the same way (ignoring the highway code) but you only direct your anger at one of the groups? This doesn't make any sense to me. Surely it would be more logical to direct your anger at those that are not evenly and fairly enforcing the rules.

 

[Foolg]

sooner (hopefully) you are gonna go under the wheels of a very large lorry.

Sick b*stard.

Hopefully your car wont start tomorrow, and you'll be the one falling off their bike.

Here's hoping.

 

[pastafarian]

When are you cycling freaks going to realise that it isn't GREEN to pedal around everywhere breathing toxic carbon dioxide and farting methane all over the shop from drinking all that fecking lucozade sport out of your fecking PVC bottles...dripping all that salty sweat all over the roads and causing potholes and diseases and that. Where do you think the electricity comes from that cooks your protein bars and mung bean flapjacks? Thin air? NO nuclear power stations and PETROL! Twats.

I stop my car, rip off my wing mirror and beat them to death with it whenever I see some fat joey with Bradley chops and overly muscled calves huffing around the Essex countryside! It's my right to strangle them with their own Lycra pants because they're my roads that I paid for with my TAX not their fecking personal cycle track.

as far as rants go this premier league.

 

[W.C.]

wow, always amazes me the Clarkson's and their cycling rants.

We never get threads on bad driving, like it DOESN'T EXIST.

It's a joke. How many more cars are there in the country than bikes? 10-1? 100-1? 1000-1? I have no idea, there's definitely a LOT more though. They are also, 4 times the size, go 4 times as fast and are made of metal. They are also driven by selfish, incompetent, nut jobs at times.

But yeah, bloody cyclists.

 

[pastafarian]

i really cant understand some people,stop moaning and take affirmative action.

if a cyclist is on the pavement simply walk into them,this is a tricky manoeuvre i know,but treat it as a rugby tackle,use the shoulder barge,if you go in hard you will come up trumps,the bellend always ends up on the concrete and you are safe in the knowledge you have done your civic duty and stopped a prick from hurting someone further on down the road.

there is always zero comeback from the criminal on the pavement,you may get some abuse but i have found if you do a Zaha and fake some sort of injury and yell about suing the cyclist pikey will do a runner

on a side note its always best to push people off their bikes on pavements towards the shop fronts as opposed to into the road and oncoming traffic

this will help you avoid screaming "eeek"

 

[Stat Brother]

Would it help if you couldn't see them?:-

 

[Was not Was]

Would it help if you couldn't see them?:-

View attachment 42306

Want one.

 

[Tyrone Biggums]

The roads would be safer if there were no car drivers. FACT.

 

[vegster]

So you hate cyclists because some break road rules and don't get prosecuted but drivers are okay because some break road rules and do get prosecuted?

Last Sunday I had a leisurely stroll along the undercliff between the Marina and the little cafe at Ovingdean. Lots of pedestrians and plenty of cyclists too. Just by the cafe there are toilets and the undercliff narrows and I noticed for the first time there are barriers at an angle to slow and stop cyclists riding through an area which has been designated a No Cycling zone.
This is obviously to prevent a collision in this short zone of maybe 40 yards long.

As we walked through this zone a family of four came cycling one way through the zone to be met by a family of three cycling the other way through the No Cycling zone, imagine the fun I had watching seven cyclists trying to pick their way past each other while pedestrians were caught up in the middle. Hilarious to watch how they had to go so slow to avoid each other but could not contemplate that the area is a No Cycling Zone for just such this reason. The thought of getting off and walking despite the obvious signage and barriers was beyond them.
As an addition, I noticed for the first time a sign near the barriers facing East towards those heading to the Marina saying something like, "Shared pedestrian/cycle path, use caution, speed limit 10 "

As you can imagine, there was not an awful lot of caution and cyclists were regularly whooshing by as fast as they could go. lots of racing,cycling with no hands,swerving around with one hand while on the phone etc.

So, do I blame the parents of the families involved who should set an example and know better, do I blame the Council for failing to enforce their own rules, do I blame The Highways Agency ( is it their responsibility ?) or the Police for not patrolling or the teachers for failing to teach a large tranche of the population to read ?

Or, is it because there seems little or no redress as a cyclist and that cyclists know this.

 

[queens park pete]

Cant stand those *******s! if theres a pavement and a cycle is on a country road i will try to clip the ******** with my wingmirror

Idiot- we aren't supposed to cycle on the pavements.

I hope that is keyboard talk. You should not be allowed behind the wheel if you think you have the right to attempt to kill cyclists on any country road. Even Clarkson would think you have gone too far!

 

[queens park pete]

They probably aren't fat if they are Bradley Wiggins lycra style wearers, though I have seen some mega lard arses squeezing themselves out of cars to yell red-faced abuse at cyclists.

When are you cycling freaks going to realise that it isn't GREEN to pedal around everywhere breathing toxic carbon dioxide and farting methane all over the shop from drinking all that fecking lucozade sport out of your fecking PVC bottles...dripping all that salty sweat all over the roads and causing potholes and diseases and that. Where do you think the electricity comes from that cooks your protein bars and mung bean flapjacks? Thin air? NO nuclear power stations and PETROL! Twats.

I stop my car, rip off my wing mirror and beat them to death with it whenever I see some fat joey with Bradley chops and overly muscled calves huffing around the Essex countryside! It's my right to strangle them with their own Lycra pants because they're my roads that I paid for with my TAX not their fecking personal cycle track.

 

[queens park pete]

You seem unhealthily well informed as to the condition and size of gents' genital areas. Have you studied them over a long period of time or is it a recent obsession?

Everyone knows that cyclists get atrophy of the balls from seat chafe and compression of the scrotal sack. Men with big flashy cars are well known to have enormous manhoods. Women don't want to have sex with BO reeking hippies with cycle clips on their flared pants. They want to copulate with middle aged dentists in Mercedes cars and Audi TTs.

There's another wing mirror coming for you too pal!

 

[lost in london]

You are getting there, I'll simplify it for you.
If I regularly ignore the Highway Code, I WILL end up being fined and tot up penalty points, if I carry on I get a ban which renders me unable to drive legally. I will be persecuted off the road, and tbh, I would deserve that if I regularly disobeyed said rules. now, please explain what happens to a cyclist who regularly breaks the same rules ?

I'll tell you - they sometimes get a penalty warning notice and an £80 fine, at least I did when I jumped a red light in the City.

 

[vegster]

I'll tell you - they sometimes get a penalty warning notice and an £80 fine, at least I did when I jumped a red light in the City.

Maybe this should happen more often and be publicised more often too then there would be more awareness that the rules apply to all.

 

[sten_super]

As a recent convert to being a 'proper' cyclist, I see far more inconsiderate car driving than I do inconsiderate cycling. Just this morning I had a car close to within about 6 inches of me while overtaking because there was a horse on the other side of the road, while at least once a day someone will overtake me only to then cut me up by turning left across me or other silly behaviour - ffs if there's an obstruction coming up don't overtake.

Having said that, in cities (rather than rural roads that I cycle on) there's much more opportunity for people on bikes to make mischief, and there are a large number of idiots on bikes that think that they can do whatever they want - I suppose my point is that both sides are as bad as the other.

 

[teaboy]

Maybe this should happen more often and be publicised more often too then there would be more awareness that the rules apply to all.

It should - but blaming cyclists for this not happening won't change the situation. Contact your MP, councillors and the police until they enforce the law correctly. Also ask them to give penalty notices to drivers in ASLs and breaking the 20mph speed limits too.

 

[BadFish]

Last Sunday I had a leisurely stroll along the undercliff between the Marina and the little cafe at Ovingdean. Lots of pedestrians and plenty of cyclists too. Just by the cafe there are toilets and the undercliff narrows and I noticed for the first time there are barriers at an angle to slow and stop cyclists riding through an area which has been designated a No Cycling zone.
This is obviously to prevent a collision in this short zone of maybe 40 yards long.

As we walked through this zone a family of four came cycling one way through the zone to be met by a family of three cycling the other way through the No Cycling zone, imagine the fun I had watching seven cyclists trying to pick their way past each other while pedestrians were caught up in the middle. Hilarious to watch how they had to go so slow to avoid each other but could not contemplate that the area is a No Cycling Zone for just such this reason. The thought of getting off and walking despite the obvious signage and barriers was beyond them.
As an addition, I noticed for the first time a sign near the barriers facing East towards those heading to the Marina saying something like, "Shared pedestrian/cycle path, use caution, speed limit 10 "

As you can imagine, there was not an awful lot of caution and cyclists were regularly whooshing by as fast as they could go. lots of racing,cycling with no hands,swerving around with one hand while on the phone etc.

So, do I blame the parents of the families involved who should set an example and know better, do I blame the Council for failing to enforce their own rules, do I blame The Highways Agency ( is it their responsibility ?) or the Police for not patrolling or the teachers for failing to teach a large tranche of the population to read ?

Or, is it because there seems little or no redress as a cyclist and that cyclists know this.

So would you like me to share stories of drivers breaking rules and driving dangerously whilst getting away with it?

There was the one who nearly ran over my little girl on the zebra crossing the other week because she was rushing to get past.

Did this make me hate all drivers? No, because that would be stupid!

 

[BadFish]

As a recent convert to being a 'proper' cyclist, I see far more inconsiderate car driving than I do inconsiderate cycling. Just this morning I had a car close to within about 6 inches of me while overtaking because there was a horse on the other side of the road, while at least once a day someone will overtake me only to then cut me up by turning left across me or other silly behaviour - ffs if there's an obstruction coming up don't overtake.

Having said that, in cities (rather than rural roads that I cycle on) there's much more opportunity for people on bikes to make mischief, and there are a large number of idiots on bikes that think that they can do whatever they want - I suppose my point is that both sides are as bad as the other.

There are dick heads on the road, some on two and some on fours wheels. To lump all cyclist together as a group to help is illogical, ignorant and pointless. These lazy moronic generalisations are the easy option for the chronically hard of thinking.