A joke to lighten the mood!

[GoldWithFalmer]

I'll buy you a pair of knickers............

Why?

because your a c*nt.

 

[rocker959]

There is a new Viagra on the market, it's called the 007 .... It makes you Roger Moore !!

 

[rocker959]

A very sexy black girl I met in a club said '' Do you fancy walking me home big boy '' I said f*** off , Africa's 5,617 miles away !!

 

[rocker959]

Was in a Indian restaurant last night having a meal, when a waiter came over to my table and said '' Curry OK ? ''
I said '' Go on then, just one song then f*** off ''!!

 

[Hillian1]

The wifes been missing now for seven days and last night the police told me to prepare for the worst. So I went and got her clothes back from the charity shop.

 

[GoldWithFalmer]

The wifes been missing now for seven days and last night the police told me to prepare for the worst. So I went and got her clothes back from the charity shop.

 

[tedebear]

Dear John, I'm sorry I broke off our engagement. I miss you terribly and regret my decision. Please take me back.
Love,
Mary

PS. Congratulations on winning the World Series of Poker Main Event.

 

[Danny-Boy]

John Terry can dribble?

I'm sure Wayne Bridge's ex can testify to that...

 

[Danny-Boy]

Bill Oddie last night on Autumnwatch said he's seen a Woodcock on Hampstead Heath. No Bill, it was a cock with a wood on...

 

[Gwm]

its true u are wat u eat, my new thai bird is ace at bjs!! but unfortunatly its made her grow a cock!!! * *

 

[Danny-Boy]

I was looking at palace's 2012 calender today, to be honest it's a bit too explicit for my liking....there's a cvnt on every page

As opposed to Albion's, where there's a cock for the fans...

 

[Hillian1]

I took a girl out to a restaurant the other night and she ordered the most expensive items on the menu.
"do you eat like this when you go out with your mum?" I asked
"No" she replied "but my mum doesn't expect a blow job after"
"enjoy your meal"

 

[gjh1971]

Went to Subway for my lunch & asked for the biggest, greasiest, most expensive Sub... They gave me Andy Carroll.

 

[chucky1973]

So I was asked the other day what was my opinion on Midgets....
"Very Little" I said..