A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant...

[bailey]

...and order the "Chicken Surprise". The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.
Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.
"Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband.
He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down. Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.
"Please sir," says the waiter, "what you order?"
The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."
Ah... so sorry," says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck"

 

[Buzzer]

is this crap joke Friday? If so, I've got hundreds.

4.2






I say, I say, I say. My pyramid has no nose.

How does it smell?

It sphinx

 

[Tim]

Im sure this is fixtures

 

[aftershavedave]

i think that's excellent 3/10

 

[hans kraay fan club]

4.5

 

[Tim]

I was right:

http://www.northstandchat.biz/showthread.php?s=&threadid=88980&highlight=Chinese+restaurant

Fixtures

 

[bailey]

Im sure this is fixtures

Totally fixtures. I thought perhaps we were have fixtures joke Friday?

We've been a bit quiet on the joke du jour threads recently?

 

[Buzzer]

where's the usual dogs in funny costumes thread MoH? Does anybody else think he's a bit grumpy this week?

 

[hans kraay fan club]

where's the usual dogs in funny costumes thread MoH? Does anybody else think he's a bit grumpy this week?

I WIN, I WIN!

LOOK AT THIS BEAUTY. WHAT THE f*** IS THAT LITTLE THING!

 

[Buzzer]

damn you Hans. I was gonna use that. It is the winner though.

I'll be back......

 

[bailey]

I WIN, I WIN!

LOOK AT THIS BEAUTY. WHAT THE f*** IS THAT LITTLE THING!

Game over!

Who the hell would do that to a dog? If I were that dog the owner would wake up in the morning to a nice warm turd right next to the bed.....

 

[Man of Harveys]

where's the usual dogs in funny costumes thread MoH? Does anybody else think he's a bit grumpy this week?

Am I? Sorry. Nothing at all to be grumpy about, other than a fantastic holiday last week to be missing and work being a pain...but who'd ever want to talk about their Easter holidays on NSC?

Shall we have a thread then? Joke not wearing thin yet? Still makes me laugh out loud a lot, I must admit.

 

[Eddie the Seagull]

Patient: Doctor, doctor - i can't decide whether i am a wig-wam or a tee-pee...........?

Doctor: Take these, i think you're too tense.

 

[Brovion]

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A cloud.

 

[rool]

Why did the skeleton burp?

Because he didn't have the guts to fart

 

[bailey]

Had a lucky escape last night.

Walked into B&Q and some bloke dressed in orange asked me if I wanted decking.

Fortunately I got the first punch in so that was the end of that.

 

[supaseagull]

Had a lucky escape last night.

Walked into B&Q and some bloke dressed in orange asked me if I wanted decking.

Fortunately I got the first punch in so that was the end of that.

 

[Basil Fawlty]

Had a lucky escape last night.

Walked into B&Q and some bloke dressed in orange asked me if I wanted decking.

Fortunately I got the first punch in so that was the end of that.

Brillant.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Customer in Chinese restaurant: 'Waiter! This chicken is rubbery!'

Waiter 'Ah so, hank you very much Sir'

 

[blue'n'white]

Two parrots sitting on a perch
One turns to the other and says "Can you smell fish ?"