10 of the best double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio

[Lyndhurst 14]

Ah.. the joys of live broadcasting.

1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator -
'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'

2. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator -
'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'

3. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977
'Ah, isn't that nice.. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew..'

4. US PGA Commentator -
'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them .... Oh my god !! What have I just said??'

5. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said:
'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

6. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked,
'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

7. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters:
'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'

8. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:
'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. '

9. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked:
'They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'

10. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open:
'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by
himself.'

 

[Racek]

I have heard most of them before but they did make me laugh. Thanks.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Dated, but, hey...

 

[cliveh27]

I think it was John Arlott who was once commentating on a match with the Windies back in the 1970s. As Peter Willey approached to bowl, Arlott whispered in his dulcet tones: "The batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willey ..."

 

[HalfTimeOrange]

One of the best I've ever heard is in this years Masters tournament. Ken Brown was walking around the course giving analysis of each hole and stuff, and when his segment had finished the screen went back to an image of Tiger Woods lining up for the putt as the commentator says, "Oh we do love our Brownie on the course..>"

Obviously very unintentional but one of the funniest things I have ever seen on BBC television

 

[The Large One]

[yt]lSO3-jKoRBQ[/yt]

 

[Racek]

One of the best I've ever heard is in this years Masters tournament. Ken Brown was walking around the course giving analysis of each hole and stuff, and when his segment had finished the screen went back to an image of Tiger Woods lining up for the putt as the commentator says, "Oh we do love our Brownie on the course..>"

Obviously very unintentional but one of the funniest things I have ever seen on BBC television

Love it.

 

[Tricky Dicky]

I seem to remember a countdown one. There was a guest in dictionary corner, Geofrey Durham, I think it was (the ex-Mr Victoria Wood), was going on with word-play about a ficticious man called "Dickin" (I cant remember how he got to that). The camera shot cuts to Vorderman across the studio who says "I could do with some 'dickin' over here" !!!

I'm sure I didn't make that one up.

 

[Sussex Nomad]

Lifted from Wiki, they explain it better, and if anyone can find the audio, all the better!

Agnew was commentating with Brian Johnston for an England v West Indies Test Match in August 1991 when they produced a piece of commentary which has been voted by listeners to BBC Radio 5 Live as the "greatest piece of sporting commentary ever".[7]
In a review of the day, Johnston was describing how Ian Botham, while batting, had overbalanced and tried, but failed, to step over his stumps. Botham was consequently given out hit wicket. Agnew's comment on this action was: "He just couldn't quite get his leg over." The innuendo provoked a lengthy period of laughter and giggling, most notably by Johnston, who tried to continue commentating through his giggles and included the line "Aggers, for goodness' sake, do stop it" between convulsions of mirth.

 

[lighthouse]

If you want a double-entendre, I'll give you one.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

If you want a double-entendre, I'll give you one.

Boom-tish!

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Melchett: Alright, at ease, Bob, stand easy. Captain Blackadder, this is Bob.

Edmund: Bob?

Bob: Good morning, sir.

Edmund: Unusual name for a girl?

Melchett: Oh yes, it would be an unusual name for a girl, but it's a perfectly straightforward name for a young chap like you, eh Bob? Now Bob, I want you to bunk up with Captain Blackadder for a couple of days, alright?

Bob: Yes sir.

Melchett: I think you'll find Bob just the man for this job, Blackadder. He has a splendid sense of humour.

Edmund: He sir? He? He?

Melchett: You see, you're laughing already! Well then, Bob, I'll leave you two together, why don't you get to know each other, play a game of cribbage, have a smoke, something like that. They tell me that Captain Blackadder has rather a good line in rough shag. I'm sure he'd be happy to fill your pipe. Carry on.

 

[Superphil]

What was the one about someone opening up thier legs and showing their class?

 

[MOG]

Lifted from Wiki, they explain it better, and if anyone can find the audio, all the better!

Agnew was commentating with Brian Johnston for an England v West Indies Test Match in August 1991 when they produced a piece of commentary which has been voted by listeners to BBC Radio 5 Live as the "greatest piece of sporting commentary ever".[7]
In a review of the day, Johnston was describing how Ian Botham, while batting, had overbalanced and tried, but failed, to step over his stumps. Botham was consequently given out hit wicket. Agnew's comment on this action was: "He just couldn't quite get his leg over." The innuendo provoked a lengthy period of laughter and giggling, most notably by Johnston, who tried to continue commentating through his giggles and included the line "Aggers, for goodness' sake, do stop it" between convulsions of mirth.

Take your pick.

7th clip.

http://www.johnners.com/goofs.html

or

[yt]3k0qZDdfvZk[/yt]

 

[bobby smith]

Ah.. the joys of live broadcasting.

1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator -
'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'

2. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator -
'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'

3. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977
'Ah, isn't that nice.. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew..'

4. US PGA Commentator -
'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them .... Oh my god !! What have I just said??'

5. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said:
'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

6. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked,
'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

7. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters:
'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'

8. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:
'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. '

9. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked:
'They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'

10. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open:
'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by
himself.'

I thought Nick Faldo always does it on his own

 

[bobby smith]

Lord Oaksey the racing Commentator once said when a cup was being presented after a race," And heres the beautiful Mrs Cecil receiving the cup from a Lady who isnt ........ He then blubbered a bit, classic live TV

 

[Martinf]

The bowlers Holding the batsmen's Willey

 

[bobby smith]

Lillee caught Willey Bowled Dilley was a classic

 

[acrossthepond]

The bowlers Holding the batsmen's Willey

This.... is a slice of fried gold......

 

[FamilyGuy]

As Julian Clarey used to say as he walked on stage to the opening appluase, "Thank you, i do like a warm hand on my entrance!"