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[Help] A Wee Issue...



jonnyrovers

jonnyrovers

mostly tinpot
Aug 13, 2013
1,181
Shoreham-by-Sea
Ate asparagus at lunch.

Completely forgot.

Went to the loo.

Pungent piddle, mild confusion, moment of clarity as I remember, followed by total confusion as to how the heck it happens.

Can also be experienced with strong coffee (smells like rice krispies), beetroot (looks like Ribena), Berroca (orange syrup).

This is what it has come to. I've completed Netflix & Prime. The international break was boring as hell. I can't bear The News.

Anyone got any more I can try?
 






Peteinblack

Peteinblack

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jun 3, 2004
4,135
Bath, Somerset.
Way, way, too much information. :wrong: You do realise that over-sharing is a thing? :lolol:
 


Poojah

Poojah

Well-known member
Nov 19, 2010
1,881
Leeds
Had the pleasure of wiping my little girl’s bum the other day. Imagine my horror as I found myself confronted with a bowlful of loose, lime green stool, floating gently amidst a slimy pool of diarrhoea, equally psychedelic in colour.

I’m not lying when I say genuine panic ensued as my mind raced to work out what kind of terrible illness might be afflicting my poor daughter, until I remembered that supper the night before had consisted of lashings of my son’s bright blue birthday cake.

I’m not quite sure of the chemical reasons that blue food colouring maketh green poo, but there you go. I guess you learn something every day.

Panic over.
 


Jim Van Winkle

Jim Van Winkle

Well-known member
Jul 14, 2010
3,125
Hawaii
Poojah said:
Had the pleasure of wiping my little girl’s bum the other day. Imagine my horror as I found myself confronted with a bowlful of loose, lime green stools, floating gently amidst a slimy pool of diarrhoea, equally psychedelic in colour.

I’m not lying when I say genuine panic ensued as my mind raced to work out what kind of terrible illness may be afflicting my poor daughter, until I remembered that supper the night before had consisted of lashings of my son’s bright blue birthday cake.

I’m not quite sure of the chemical reasons that blue food colouring maketh green poo, but there you go. I guess you learn something every day.

Panic over.
Click to expand...

Remember the colour wheel. Sounds like she mixed in some yellow.
 




darkwolf666

darkwolf666

Well-known member
Nov 8, 2015
7,653
Sittingbourne, Kent
Poojah said:
Had the pleasure of wiping my little girl’s bum the other day. Imagine my horror as I found myself confronted with a bowlful of loose, lime green stools, floating gently amidst a slimy pool of diarrhoea, equally psychedelic in colour.

I’m not lying when I say genuine panic ensued as my mind raced to work out what kind of terrible illness may be afflicting my poor daughter, until I remembered that supper the night before had consisted of lashings of my son’s bright blue birthday cake.

I’m not quite sure of the chemical reasons that blue food colouring maketh green poo, but there you go. I guess you learn something every day.

Panic over.
Click to expand...

Now we are on little one's bums!

Changed my little one's nappy and found what I thought was a tape worm, split second of panic, then remembered he eats his towel after a bath and was poohing out threads from that...

Oh the joys of caring for a child with pica!
 


Poojah

Poojah

Well-known member
Nov 19, 2010
1,881
Leeds
darkwolf666 said:
Now we are on little one's bums!

Changed my little one's nappy and found what I thought was a tape worm, split second of panic, then remembered he eats his towel after a bath and was poohing out threads from that...

Oh the joys of caring for a child with pica!
Click to expand...

I don’t know very much about pica, and I’m really not sure about laughing, but that did trigger a genuine LOL. :lolol:
 


Mr Bridger

Mr Bridger

Sound of the suburbs
Feb 25, 2013
4,753
Earth
If we’re talking arses then we need natures toothbrush, or the projectile of choice for the casual during the 80’s.

559BBB74-D0A6-4AE0-A3A6-C8D833750724.jpeg
 




WATFORD zero

WATFORD zero

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 10, 2003
27,767
darkwolf666 said:
Now we are on little one's bums!

Changed my little one's nappy and found what I thought was a tape worm, split second of panic, then remembered he eats his towel after a bath and was poohing out threads from that...

Oh the joys of caring for a child with pica!
Click to expand...

Once had a cat that had eaten the string from a Sunday joint and ran round the kitchen with that hanging out it's arse. No real stories about the kids that I can remember :shrug:
 




P

Palacefinder General

Well-known member
Apr 5, 2019
2,594
What about Johnny Eck, lived to the age of 80 with no bladder, genitalia or arse. How is that even possible? To quote his Wikipedia page “Apart from having no lower half, he was otherwise completely healthy”

Johnny-Eck-signed.jpg
 






M

METALMICKY

Well-known member
Jan 30, 2004
6,825
Poojah said:
Had the pleasure of wiping my little girl’s bum the other day. Imagine my horror as I found myself confronted with a bowlful of loose, lime green stool, floating gently amidst a slimy pool of diarrhoea, equally psychedelic in colour.

I’m not lying when I say genuine panic ensued as my mind raced to work out what kind of terrible illness might be afflicting my poor daughter, until I remembered that supper the night before had consisted of lashings of my son’s bright blue birthday cake.

I’m not quite sure of the chemical reasons that blue food colouring maketh green poo, but there you go. I guess you learn something every day.

Panic over.
Click to expand...

The same colourant used in bubble gum flavour ice cream will produce a slimy green stool.
 


Knocky's Nose

Knocky's Nose

Mon nez est retiré.
May 7, 2017
4,188
Eastbourne
I can eat a bowl of Sugar Puffs, then around three hours later my pee smells exactly like Sugar Puffs. I have zero idea why... :shrug:

I no longer eat Sugar Puffs.
 






zefarelly

zefarelly

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 7, 2003
22,787
Sussex, by the sea
WATFORD zero said:
Once had a cat that had eaten the string from a Sunday joint and ran round the kitchen with that hanging out it's arse. No real stories about the kids that I can remember :shrug:
Click to expand...

Over 20 years ago visiting my brother on a farm in Kent, there was a dog , had eaten some crap our of a bag of rubbish apparently, kept licking its arse . . .. someone spotted something sticking out . . . . A bit of plastic . . . Someone got the dog and tugeed, and tugged . . . .and tugged . . . . A complete carrier bag! The dog didn't half pull some funny faces :lolol:

First day we got our dog from the rescue place he laid an egg in the back garden, resplendant with a shiny blue button in it. Flouro tennis ball fluff ued to be a common sight too
 


WATFORD zero

WATFORD zero

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 10, 2003
27,767
zefarelly said:
Over 20 years ago visiting my brother on a farm in Kent, there was a dog , had eaten some crap our of a bag of rubbish apparently, kept licking its arse . . .. someone spotted something sticking out . . . . A bit of plastic . . . Someone got the dog and tugeed, and tugged . . . .and tugged . . . . A complete carrier bag! The dog didn't half pull some funny faces :lolol:

First day we got our dog from the rescue place he laid an egg in the back garden, resplendant with a shiny blue button in it. Flouro tennis ball fluff ued to be a common sight too
Click to expand...

In my experience, after many years of trying to raise kids and pets, it is the major difference. The pets output is slightly less predictable :sick:

*edit* And, I forgot, pets are quieter and cost less
 
Last edited:


Dick Swiveller

Dick Swiveller

Well-known member
Sep 9, 2011
9,526
Poojah said:
Had the pleasure of wiping my little girl’s bum the other day. Imagine my horror as I found myself confronted with a bowlful of loose, lime green stool, floating gently amidst a slimy pool of diarrhoea, equally psychedelic in colour.

I’m not lying when I say genuine panic ensued as my mind raced to work out what kind of terrible illness might be afflicting my poor daughter, until I remembered that supper the night before had consisted of lashings of my son’s bright blue birthday cake.

I’m not quite sure of the chemical reasons that blue food colouring maketh green poo, but there you go. I guess you learn something every day.

Panic over.
Click to expand...

I had that in Florida. They did Monsters Inc Ice Cream at McDonalds and the Blue dye did the same to me.
 








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