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Vancouver, BC. I'll be sitting at home watching a dodgy internet stream at 4:30 a.m.

It’s going to be a snore-fest. ‘Boro will play for the draw. Nothing will happen at all in the first half. Albion will struggle to get a shot on goal. Albion will throw caution to the wind for the last 10 minutes in an all out attack but then concede a goal, probably a simple tap in after a...

I've heard of Preston.

You could maybe try Aces bar on the corner of Sutton & Hyde. Great little dive bar that opens at 6 a.m.

Totally agree. There’s a traffic reporter on the radio here in Vancouver who routinely announces her name when she calls in her report from the ‘eye-in-the-sky’ helicopter. Her name is Elaine Scollan. At least, I think that’s her name. On any particular day it sounds like Scollun, Scallon...

me too, please

Here in Canada, I went to my local pub after work yesterday. It was packed. I was given a tacky green glittery bowler hat, a green lei and forced to listen to corny recorded Irish music (the scheduled Irish band unexpectedly cancelled 2 hours earlier). The Irish Stew and Lamburger food specials...

and, of course from The Pink Panther Strikes Again: Clouseau: Does your dog bite? Hotel Clerk: No. Clouseau: [bowing down to pet the dog] Nice doggie. [Dog barks and bites Clouseau in the hand] Clouseau: I thought you said your dog did not bite! Hotel Clerk: That is not my dog.

Cousin Eddie in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation: "He's cute ain't he? Only problem is, he's got a little bit a Mississippi leg hound in him. If the mood catches him right, he'll grab your leg and just go to town. You don't want him around if you're wearing short pants, if you know what I...

Ah, that should vastly improve your chances of seeing some Grizzlies then. Have fun.

Good luck with that. There's no Grizzly Bear population on Vancouver Island. Occasionally, you might get the odd one swim across from the mainland but that's it. Tons of Black Bears though.