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I like to think I am quite erudite and witty on here, with in-depth knowledge on a range of specialist subjects to which I aspire to present others with useful information and humorous anecdotes. In real life, however, I am quite thick and cannot string a coherent sentence together.

All this is just God testing our reserve. Its a big prank, just like all those fossils. He's like that, God.

Not quite as ghastly as that mock up above, but still not nice.

Kicking Bishop Brennan Up The *rse, is another classic episode.

No. He was a school caretaker/janitor.

Do you not remember the dutch goalkeeper episode??? A classic!!

You'll be telling us that Derek Guyler was a real policeman next!

"Oh no. Toilet Duck!"

That you need to be a massive pr*ck in order to get on the show? We know that already!

Your tea wouldn't taste the same, unless they found this stuff out. Or something.

Hattie wasn't his REAL sister, you know that?

What these alchemists needed was a Dell laptop wth a dodgy battery. Now THEY get hot!

There's a 737 between Preston Park and London Bridge? That'll get the journey time down a bit!!

Years ago, I did a bit of business (well, failed to in the end) with someone who ended up on the series before last. He was a massive d*ck when I was trying to do business with him, and he was a massive d*ck on the show too. I think you need to be a massive d*ck in order to get on that show.

Possibly, but as I'm a man, I'm not bothered in looking for it to be honest.

14 million years and 0.0001 of a second.

It wouldn't surprise me if THAT was down the back of the sofa as well.

It was down the back of the sofa the whole time! Who'd a thunk it?

Also, he didn't need glasses. If you look closely there is no glass in the lenses. They were actually a hearing aid!

Oh. Saddened by this. Loved him. Loved his shows. A very very clever funny man, took over from Milligan writing the Goon shows when Milligan couldn't take it anymore. A real comedy genius.