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Wife is A I am B. I always assumed it was because she mostly took a couple of sheets after a wee so was sitting down whilst I always took a couple of sheets after a poo and so was standing up (by the time I reached for the bog roll).

Grass seed needs to be in contact with the soil and kept moist. The night time temp should be enough for it to germinate now (certainly hope so as oversowed lawn yesterday) so when sowing bare patches I scratch up soil and lay seed then tread it down and as Jack say's water like buggery.

I can put you in touch with a very good mole killer but is that the way you want to go?

Sorry Jack I have to disagree with you. I used 4 in 1 once and it didn't kill the weeds, didn't kill the moss but made the lawn grow like crazy. It was basically nitrogen which is like us eating white sugar. I've worked for a lawn fascist for 20 odd years and a good lawn is a lot of work. I got...

I use it in fish soups and fish stews.

So I have not been panic buying but being a responsible citizen but when I get to Sainsbery's on Saturday I am going to find the shelves empty? Well I hope you panic buyers are feeling proud of your full pantries.

B side of Oliver's Army by Elvis Costello My Funny Valentine and the B side to a David Bowie single, can't remember which, In The Port of Amsterdam.

Much better point than last year. Bloody well done lads.

MOTD is going to struggle to select the last match tonight with these prem scores.

With 'muff losing at least we can't end up in the relegation zone today. Nervous but hopeful.

Just back from Sainsbury and can confirm the end of the world is neigh. It's not going to be the virus which gets us but starvation and a dirty bum. Got the last pack of loo roll (coconut flavour wtf), no pasta, tinned tomatoes or oatcakes, why oatcakes? It seems the virus attacks the rational...

I've had them for getting on for 10 years. A couple of times a year I get pain from them like very bad indigestion but so far it has quickly passed. If it happens at night I go downstairs and march round the kitchen for half an hour which seems to sort it. I've still got the heavy duty...

The seasons we were on the verge of promotion (in play-offs) I assumed we would do a WBA and yo-yo between the leagues a few times before we could establish ourselves in the prem (if indeed we ever could). 3 (slightly uncomfortable) seasons in the prem is better than I expected and we still have...

Cuckfield fits the bill. Stunning location.

It's in the arsegas now. Sounds like a nice boy.

I don't think Sarr will be allowed on the pitch unless it is in a full hazchem suit which should slow him down.

Didn't this happen 2 seasons ago when he was 1 or 2 cards from a ban and went the rest of the season without getting another?

and think of the distraction he will be on the halfway line when we are defending corners which, with respect, is probably not his strong suit.

I'll take that. Not as bad as some on here made out. Plenty of chances.

We've had some half decent chances just need more luck/skill to put them away.